Wednesday, July 30, 2008


The Oafs Have Been Awakened

First things first - half game out! Yes, there's a game going on right now, but Bon Jovi is too busy giving hits away for too cheap, and hey, like Lucy to Desi, we got some 'splaining to do.

And we're gonna do it right. There's going to be footnotes [1] and there's going to be tales of adventure, mystery, intrigue and eroticism! [2] and OMG THE DARK KNIGHT IS SO FUCKING GOOD. And the occasional editorial remark [Mickey Kaus is going to sue your asses -ed.] It's funny because we don't have an editor. Clearly. Let's go!

WV: Haha, yep, I think that's the way to do the footnotes

RK: Somewhere, Mr. Turabian is crying himself to sleep.

RK: Hey, and this will be of potential interest to you, EMH, I'll be in McLean VA through the weekend [3]

WV: Doing uber-secret CIA operative work. Did I just blow your cover?

RK: Not really, Pentagon interference on my cell sucks. So, issue of the day; the 2 kinds of Twins blogs [4]


WV: We're not confrontational people, so our non-inflation adjusted 2 cents haven't been thrown into this arena prior. [5]

RK: How the hell do I link again? Alright Hamilton!

WV: And as a former and not reclusive purveyor of ska core, I bristle at any taxonomic endeavour. In other words, a blog is not a taxa, nor does its content need be a derivative of nomos, meaning law or science. [6]

RK: Telos > Nomos. The purpose is more important than the nomenclature.

WV: And any teleology can equally be aesthetic or historiographic. [Get to the point guys -ed.]

RK: Is this just a way to prove that even though we're wacky OMG Joe Mauer is so hot bloggers that we're also intelligent enough to loosely use greek words? [7]

WV: Sort of. And may just be a deep seeded reactionary guilt to not doing well at calculus in high school and taking cover in the via humanitatis since.

RK: Yes, but more that this post doesn't really say anything. It's the MN Twins variation of the "White people are like this, and black people are like this!" joke.

WV: And in our case as well, we deftly prove that you can be equally pretentious on either side of the coin.

RK: I like the stats-based blogs. Fire Joe Morgan is good stuff. I e-jerk it almost more often than Deadspin

WV: Stat based blogs are nice, they do the work that I don't have to. They're like the philologists whose work I mine when trying to be theoretical. One doesn't work without the other.

RK: So putting them on different planes is kind of absurd. Neither is better than the other, which may have been the point - at which point, the question becomes, why draw the distinction at all? Why does Gleeman (of all people) get a spot in the stat-based blog all star team and all the women get OMG Joe Mauer status? [8]

WV: Gleeman, the very same blogger that used an entire week's worth of posts to elect a fantasy girl....and not on the merits of her ability to use a TI-83.

RK: There's always a whisper of sexism in the world of sports. But that's a different post, perhaps. [9] TI-83 is so 1997. And this isn't to say that we disagree with stats or that we blindly think every move ever made since the Knoblauch trade was brilliant. Rather, we simply say thank you for your statistical analysis; I hope you're wrong, and I hope Bon Jovi can get a couple more wins before some other team is dopey enough to trade for him

WV: They've got about 21 hours to do so, and it looks like this start isn't going to help matters. But in any case: Thank you for statistical analysis Vorpers; thank you for irrational adulation OMGers; and thanks to the rest of your for coming back to read our blog, which is updated about as often as Roget's Thesaurus.


RK: I'm stuck in the DC area. This is a tale of woe, redemption, and fast moving.

So I went to New York [10] at the beginning of the month for 4th of July festivities and other festivities that maybe didn't have anything to do with the 4th, but what business of it is yours, eh? Well, I suppose I shouldn't be so snappy since I'm sharing with you. Anyway, I had a ball, and then came back down to DC for a couple days. While I was there I got a phone call from my landlady, asking me when I'd be moving out. At the end of July, I said. No no, she said, My lease was actually up June 30.


That was on about the 8th, so I had to shoot back down to Bburg, call a PODS unit [11] and move. The timeline:

8pm Depart for Blacksburg
12am Arrive at Blacksburg

7/9 Move everything

4pm Return keys and leave Blacksburg
8pm Arrive in DC

Yes, I moved everything I owned in 36 hours.

Luckily, I have a place to stay up here Until my new lease in Bburg begins on August 1st.

So that's where I've been. I occasionally have interwebs, like right now. I'll resume my regular blogging when I can in August, and hopefully sometimes up here.

But seriously. Joe Mauer is so hot. So is the Dark Knight. So is DC in August. Holy shit is it ridics up here.


[1] Like this! I'm sure there's a way to do superscript, but lay off.

[2] Probably not so much on the eroticism. I'm not trying to demure here, but that's how it is.

[3] Why am I in McLean? You'll find out soon enough through the course of events.

[4] There are two kinds of people in the world: those who divide the world into two kinds of people, and those who like chocolate trip crepes

[5] Adjusted for inflation: 11 million dollars (US) or 10 Euros.

[6] Now = now

[7] Yes? Is the answer yes?

[8] We're of course, biased toward blogs run by Twins fans with senses of humor, and these girls can put up some fine stuff, I tells ya. It's baseball qua baseball. Think about it.

[9] We're hoping this is kind of an undeniable claim right now: see Erin Andrews tags on Deadspin posts.

[10] Oh yes! Here I am with the Twins statue of Liberty that I found INSIDE the Best Buy on 23rd St. and 6th Ave. And the flash didn't work. Anyway, jealous?

[11] RK highly recommends PODS for all your moving needs

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