Tuesday, October 03, 2006


Lies, Damn Lies, Statistics, And A Working Glossary


Some of you may be new 'round these parts and don't have the time to read 5000 word entries for even the lowliest of games. So as we head into the final phase of the end-times, we'd like to take this opportunity to explain some of our words'n'phrases.

Ragnarok: Eschatological backdrop for our epic here. Click the link above Gardy and you can fill in the blanks as you read the myth.

Johan Santana: JoJo, El Presidente

Brad Radke: Dark Beard (anagram)

Carlos Silva: Gordito, "I was once a major league pitcher"

Boof Bonser: Bonser & Herzegovina

Matt Garza: Zagat Mart (anagram), The New Real Deal

Scott Baker: Rocket Bats (Most appropriate anagram of all time)

Alexi Casilla: Sandcastle, Little House On The Prairie

Justin Morneau: Justin Moryes, Justin Credible, Justine, Dr. Neau (stolen from Bat Girl)

Joe Mauer: Mauer Pauer, The Rightful Heir to the Batting Title, Joe from Grand Avenue

Mike Remond: Redman (Because of his chew, not the KC pitcher), Sis-boom-bah

Luis Castillo: King of the Castle, Knees

Jason Bartlett: Pear King, Jasonthing 2 of the Tripartite Jasoncreature

Nick Punto: Dererving winner, but will probably get screwed out of, a Rawlings Gold Glove at 3B (but mostly we just call him Little Nicky)

Rondell White: Ron-DL, George Clinton, Knees, The Undell, Hoverboard (Back to the Future II omage. It only works in the outfield, not on the basepaths or water)

Torii Hunter: Torrid, Sinn Fein (Not sure how we got that one)

Michael Cuddyer: Cuddy, Fuckin' Cuddy, Dimples, Cuddy Ruxpin, State of Virginia football freak

Phil Nevin: Shhh! Don't scare him away. Seriously, who is this guy?

Jason Tyner: DH? (inflection is key here) Jasonthing 1 of the triune Jasonhead

Jason Kubel: DL, Rubik's Kubel, the elusive Jasonthing 3 of the tristate Jasonarea, Kubel Khan

Dennys Reyes: Denny's Sampler Platter, Ultraviolet Reyes, Gordo, Zapata, Mexican Independence Day

Jesse Crain: The Crainadian

Matt Guerrier: Matt Guerrier

Pat Neshek: Death Metal

Juan Rincon: Second Half Slump, Joowan

Willie Eyre: Willie Eyre-in go bragh!

Joe Nathan: (All ripped off from Batgirl) The Nathanest of Joes, Twitch'n'Pitch

I think that about covers it. Feel free to add your own, and we may incorporate them into our lexicon!

And finally, to those of you confused with our list of erudition: All of those works listed on that sidebar have been either explicitly or implicitly referenced in our posts. If you read a post and go, "Hm, that sounds an awful lot like a concept I read in Habermas's "Between Facts and Norms," it probably is. It's a way of validating having to read these godawful books and it makes us feel better about working on the blog rather than doing our homework. Sneaky Straussian references and we can all pat ourselves on the back. Ah, that feels better.

Might I suggest a permanent sidebar link to your glossary?
I second that grand thought.
Consider it done. Thanks for the suggestion, even I get confused at some of the things we say.
Dooooods, you totally forgot your finest piece of tomfoolery and nicknamedness:

Bonser Herzogovina

That dubbing is everything that is right about the blogosphere.

Thanks for noticing that glaring oversight on our part. It's been added.

Hopefully Bonser & Herzegovina can go all ethnic strife on Oakland's asses today.
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