Tuesday, September 12, 2006
The Blues From Down Here
_______________
PREGAME:
To ramp up support in Ancient Rome for the 3rd Punic War, it was expected that every Roman citizen end all of his sentences with "Carthago delenda est", which comes out to "Carthage must be destroyed." It's a little bit like how the current administration goes around implying that Iraq had something to do with 9/11. I just want you all to know, that regardless of how this game goes, I'm ending all of my sentences with "Liriano pitches tomorrow." Not here because that would be obnoxious, but just say it in your head. Liriano pitches tomorrow.
_______________
1ST INNING:
And Detroit's already leading. Come on Padilla, start throwing at some heads.
I'm already getting a weird vibe from this game. It seems like it's going in slo-mo. This worries me.
But thankfully Texas has knotted the Tigers at 1.
Oh, Guerrier, I'd like you to make an out. That would be super. A much better idea than 2 singles to start the game... I mean who are you, Grant Balfour? Obviously not. Thank you for K'ing the king of board games.
Hm, my weird feeling is justified. At this rate, we'll be lucky if Guerrier goes two innings. Well, I suppose you can just hope for a slugfest now and pray to whatever god you want that the ChiSox and Tigers lose.
Aaaaand the Twins can't put much together on offense. Liriano pitches tomorrow.
_______________
2ND INNING:
Hey, 2 quick outs! I like it. I wonder if Matt can pitch outside. He looks so tiny and lithe I think a strong breeze in US Cellular Field might just carry him away.
Dick asked Bert how many runs Bert thinks he scored in all of his years. Bert confidently answers 30-40. Try 19, Bert. Funny, looking at his career stats, and I know this horse done been beat to death, but how the hell is this guy not in the HOF?
Torii, don't waste the leadoff double by Morneau. Don't try to do too much, just get Justin Credible home.
Well, I appreciate y'all trying to manufacture some runs, but Justin is not a good runner. Oh well. Let me just. Check. The Scoreboard. Still tied. OK. Just breathe.
Can you believe I'm supposed to be doing homework right now?
Torii sneaks and slithers like a sneaky snake to steal second
Tyner, that's what we need. Just hit this guy up a little bit and get to their bullpen.
Just throwing this idea out there: double steals are sexy. But so are 2-out rally RBIs from Castillo!
But getting hung up on the basepaths, Luis: not sexy. Liriano pitches tomorrow.
_______________
3RD INNING:
I go to make dinner and the inning's over? Uh, OK. Liriano pitches tomrrow.
_______________
4TH INNING:
Sorry I was so rough on you, Matt.
OH THAT WAS SO A BALL, BLUE! I can't believe you punched Justin Credible!
Texas takes the lead.
Jason Tyner, if only your name anagramed to "Clutch" Liriano pitches tomorrow
_______________
5TH INNING:
Do you guys not want to have a lead or keep a tie? You don't have to keep giving up jacks and letting them have the lead.
And the Tigers have tied it up! Dammit!
And Willie Eyre-in go bragh! is on the mound, and I've given up hope. I'm just going to watch the scoreboard now.
Liriano pitches tomorrow.
_______________
6TH INNING:
I honestly stopped watching this game. So fill in your own blanks.
And Detroit won, sigh. I thought by going off to read Arendt I'd be punishing myself. But even that's better than watching this.
And it gets worse watching Torii ground into an inning-ending double play. Liriano pitches tomorrow.
_______________
7TH INNING:
Who's pitching right now? Wow, my weird vibe is really permeating my rendition of this game. Yikes. Sorry everybody (all three of you), I'll try to make it up to you in the postgame.
Anyway, from what I can tell the Twins have hit into more double plays than I thought mathematically possible. But then again, math is not my strong suit. Liriano pitches tomorrow.
_______________
8TH INNING:
I thought about going into a discussion about the difference between work and labor in Arendt's work and the link to John Locke's treatises but
HOLY HELL CUDDY AND MORNEAU!
See? I just had to talk about my vibe. The vibe is gone. We worked it out. Now I'm jumping up and down like a Harajuku girl! I promise never to do homework again! That hit by Morneau was soooo close to being out the park. Gotta calm down. Don't get hopes up. I'm still an upper midwesterner at heart. Even if Jewish. Whatever.
But now I'm starting to think. What do we do if this is a save situation? I don't think Nathan is available.
Ah, Nathan's up and loosening up. I feel better about things.
I also feel pretty good about singles machine Tyner up with 2 outs and a runner on third.
Tyner you are the piranhaest of the piranhas. Getting on base even when you strike out? That is incredible. Sorry about not getting a homerun yet though.
And Liriano pitches tomorrow!
_______________
9TH INNING:
LIRIANO PITCHES TOMORROW!
_______________
POSTGAME:
Wow wow wow, what to say? I had a funk, I'll be honest. I was ready to pack this one in. Guerrier starting, who knows who's pitching, how many pitches they can throw, and let's face it, this is a damn good A's team. The thing is, the only team better than the A's in the past few months... is the Twins.
And I learned an important lesson about scoreboard watching. Sure, schadenfreude-fest is fun, and you root hard for the opposing teams with their AJs to lose. But what's more important is that you win your games. That's a proactive approach. You have to believe that now, if the White Sox end up losing, that it takes even more pressure off the Liriano/Garza conglomerate, and now we can just sit back and have fun watching them. And hopefully win along the way.
Wow, enough moralizing already. I'm making myself sick. We'll praise somebody as soon as William gets around (I can't do anything "website related" like use the "sidebar" or "understand even the most rudimentary basics of html")
Wouldn't it be something, and follow me here, wouldn't it be something if, at the end of the year, going into that final series with the Sox, that the outcome of those games didn't matter because the Twins were guaranteed a berth and the White Sox were out of it? Wouldn't that be the most delicious series ever? Get there, guys. Just win them all from here on out.
--RK
PREGAME:
To ramp up support in Ancient Rome for the 3rd Punic War, it was expected that every Roman citizen end all of his sentences with "Carthago delenda est", which comes out to "Carthage must be destroyed." It's a little bit like how the current administration goes around implying that Iraq had something to do with 9/11. I just want you all to know, that regardless of how this game goes, I'm ending all of my sentences with "Liriano pitches tomorrow." Not here because that would be obnoxious, but just say it in your head. Liriano pitches tomorrow.
_______________
1ST INNING:
And Detroit's already leading. Come on Padilla, start throwing at some heads.
I'm already getting a weird vibe from this game. It seems like it's going in slo-mo. This worries me.
But thankfully Texas has knotted the Tigers at 1.
Oh, Guerrier, I'd like you to make an out. That would be super. A much better idea than 2 singles to start the game... I mean who are you, Grant Balfour? Obviously not. Thank you for K'ing the king of board games.
Hm, my weird feeling is justified. At this rate, we'll be lucky if Guerrier goes two innings. Well, I suppose you can just hope for a slugfest now and pray to whatever god you want that the ChiSox and Tigers lose.
Aaaaand the Twins can't put much together on offense. Liriano pitches tomorrow.
_______________
2ND INNING:
Hey, 2 quick outs! I like it. I wonder if Matt can pitch outside. He looks so tiny and lithe I think a strong breeze in US Cellular Field might just carry him away.
Dick asked Bert how many runs Bert thinks he scored in all of his years. Bert confidently answers 30-40. Try 19, Bert. Funny, looking at his career stats, and I know this horse done been beat to death, but how the hell is this guy not in the HOF?
Torii, don't waste the leadoff double by Morneau. Don't try to do too much, just get Justin Credible home.
Well, I appreciate y'all trying to manufacture some runs, but Justin is not a good runner. Oh well. Let me just. Check. The Scoreboard. Still tied. OK. Just breathe.
Can you believe I'm supposed to be doing homework right now?
Torii sneaks and slithers like a sneaky snake to steal second
Tyner, that's what we need. Just hit this guy up a little bit and get to their bullpen.
Just throwing this idea out there: double steals are sexy. But so are 2-out rally RBIs from Castillo!
But getting hung up on the basepaths, Luis: not sexy. Liriano pitches tomorrow.
_______________
3RD INNING:
I go to make dinner and the inning's over? Uh, OK. Liriano pitches tomrrow.
_______________
4TH INNING:
Sorry I was so rough on you, Matt.
OH THAT WAS SO A BALL, BLUE! I can't believe you punched Justin Credible!
Texas takes the lead.
Jason Tyner, if only your name anagramed to "Clutch" Liriano pitches tomorrow
_______________
5TH INNING:
Do you guys not want to have a lead or keep a tie? You don't have to keep giving up jacks and letting them have the lead.
And the Tigers have tied it up! Dammit!
And Willie Eyre-in go bragh! is on the mound, and I've given up hope. I'm just going to watch the scoreboard now.
Liriano pitches tomorrow.
_______________
6TH INNING:
I honestly stopped watching this game. So fill in your own blanks.
And Detroit won, sigh. I thought by going off to read Arendt I'd be punishing myself. But even that's better than watching this.
And it gets worse watching Torii ground into an inning-ending double play. Liriano pitches tomorrow.
_______________
7TH INNING:
Who's pitching right now? Wow, my weird vibe is really permeating my rendition of this game. Yikes. Sorry everybody (all three of you), I'll try to make it up to you in the postgame.
Anyway, from what I can tell the Twins have hit into more double plays than I thought mathematically possible. But then again, math is not my strong suit. Liriano pitches tomorrow.
_______________
8TH INNING:
I thought about going into a discussion about the difference between work and labor in Arendt's work and the link to John Locke's treatises but
HOLY HELL CUDDY AND MORNEAU!
See? I just had to talk about my vibe. The vibe is gone. We worked it out. Now I'm jumping up and down like a Harajuku girl! I promise never to do homework again! That hit by Morneau was soooo close to being out the park. Gotta calm down. Don't get hopes up. I'm still an upper midwesterner at heart. Even if Jewish. Whatever.
But now I'm starting to think. What do we do if this is a save situation? I don't think Nathan is available.
Ah, Nathan's up and loosening up. I feel better about things.
I also feel pretty good about singles machine Tyner up with 2 outs and a runner on third.
Tyner you are the piranhaest of the piranhas. Getting on base even when you strike out? That is incredible. Sorry about not getting a homerun yet though.
And Liriano pitches tomorrow!
_______________
9TH INNING:
LIRIANO PITCHES TOMORROW!
_______________
POSTGAME:
Wow wow wow, what to say? I had a funk, I'll be honest. I was ready to pack this one in. Guerrier starting, who knows who's pitching, how many pitches they can throw, and let's face it, this is a damn good A's team. The thing is, the only team better than the A's in the past few months... is the Twins.
And I learned an important lesson about scoreboard watching. Sure, schadenfreude-fest is fun, and you root hard for the opposing teams with their AJs to lose. But what's more important is that you win your games. That's a proactive approach. You have to believe that now, if the White Sox end up losing, that it takes even more pressure off the Liriano/Garza conglomerate, and now we can just sit back and have fun watching them. And hopefully win along the way.
Wow, enough moralizing already. I'm making myself sick. We'll praise somebody as soon as William gets around (I can't do anything "website related" like use the "sidebar" or "understand even the most rudimentary basics of html")
Wouldn't it be something, and follow me here, wouldn't it be something if, at the end of the year, going into that final series with the Sox, that the outcome of those games didn't matter because the Twins were guaranteed a berth and the White Sox were out of it? Wouldn't that be the most delicious series ever? Get there, guys. Just win them all from here on out.
--RK
# posted by RK @ 7:53 PM 
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You summed up the game beautifully. Much of the first several innings was consumed by me playing darts (and beating the reigning Tom Reid's dart champion in two of three games) while keeping an eye on the game.
The fabulous eighth inning was heard via Gordo and Dazzle. Thank God that Gordo does the play-by-play at that point in the game, as he made it muy exciting. So exciting that I missed my exit. Oops.
Then, in the top of the ninth, 'CCO decided that, to spite the outgoing Twins, it would interrupt the game to give me primary results. Now, that's not trivial, but you don't interrupt a crucial and close game to give me freaking primary results with 30% of precincts reporting. You don't, that is, unless you want to hear me hurl one profanity after another at my radio. But they got done spewing their crap, and the Nathanest did not spew any crap tonight. Instead, it was strikes; the bitches were sat down, and life is grand again.
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The fabulous eighth inning was heard via Gordo and Dazzle. Thank God that Gordo does the play-by-play at that point in the game, as he made it muy exciting. So exciting that I missed my exit. Oops.
Then, in the top of the ninth, 'CCO decided that, to spite the outgoing Twins, it would interrupt the game to give me primary results. Now, that's not trivial, but you don't interrupt a crucial and close game to give me freaking primary results with 30% of precincts reporting. You don't, that is, unless you want to hear me hurl one profanity after another at my radio. But they got done spewing their crap, and the Nathanest did not spew any crap tonight. Instead, it was strikes; the bitches were sat down, and life is grand again.
# posted by 
: 12:05 AM
: 12:05 AM << Home
