Sunday, September 10, 2006
The Boof, The Boof, The Boof Is On Fire
Saturday's post will be put up like a stream of consciousness. No inning demarcation, just the two of us talking about a lot of things, sometimes baseball. Enjoy:
WV: There was a rumor Liriano would make the start but apparently he's going to Scranton
RK: Yeah, that was always the plan. I'm telling you, we should start a baseball rumor site and just say crazy shit and within a week it'll be on Baseball Tonight
WV: I like it. Fake interviews with Terry Ryan
RK: I mean, you could pretty much use the template: "______ to Yankees" and get some decent mileage out of it
RK: But as I watch the last moments of the Brady Quinn show I mean the Notre Dame game, I wonder, do you think JoePa has someone whose only job is to make sure he can find his car afterward?
WV: I have a good feeling about the Boofmeister tonight. We'll be getting Boofmeister Ice not Boofmeister Lite
RK: And Tech beat UNC, so there'll be 200% more cases of alcohol poisoning tonight [note: Robert is a graduate stduent at Virginia Tech and has seen the insanity first-hand] Hm, boof 6.7%. I like it. Not boof 3.2
WV: Yeah, none of that Boof 3.2. I like Boof cold filtered, never watered down, with only select infield hops
RK: I like it! I wasn't sure where you were going with that, but I'm glad you went there!
RK: Well hey, Boof looks passable so far
WV: There you went and jinxed him. He can still pull out. Ah, that's a good Boof. He's such a good Boof isn't he? He goes down crisp and smooth.
RK: For some reason, when i read that I hear Larry David's voice in my head
WV: Shit, you know all of my submerged metaphors. Well how's this for an explicit metaphor: Gardenhire is a goddam jackass for continuing to start Redmond in the 3 slot...and boom goes the dynamite
RK: Seems like a good slot for a guy who hits lefties well like, I dunno, NEVIN
WV: He only went what 2 for 3 last night. I knew this trade would be a...Harben-ger of bad luck...you know..cuz they trade Adam harben...err. Is this thing on?
RK: The power of dimples compels [the ball to get chopped up the middle for a hit]!
WV: I think yahoo should say "dimples" singled to center
RK: So let it be written, so let it be done. You know who i haven't thought about in ages? Shannon Stewart
WV: Oh you went there
RK: Seriously, is he ok?
WV: Somewhere Bobby Kielty starts to weep
RK: As he underperforms in Oakland
WV: Right
RK: And the only reason he's there, and I don't know if you'll remember this, but in '03 he hit one of Zito's curves about as hard as you can hit it, but it hooked foul. And the next pitch was the same thing, but it didn't hook that time. Billy Beane ejaculated, and there he is
WV: Nice. I like it
RK: I remember the game well. Funny the games I remember. I remember all 4 of Denny Hocking's career home runs
WV: Wow, for Cuddy, life really is a comedy of errors
RK: Bonser needs to get away from the Scott Baker school of pitching though. You know, the tee-ball 'everybody gets a turn every inning'
WV: It's really the Silva school of pitching
RK: Good point. The Plato to Baker's Aristotle
WV: Boof sure is living on the wild side tonight. His attack the strike zone mentality isn't the same when you're not playing the Royals
RK: Ha, yeah. Mark Grudzilanek doesn't strike fear in the hearts of men...or invertebrates. Y'know, with the Silva / Baker / Bonser trifecta, if I were the commissioner, I'd have the entire bullpen drug tested right now
WV: Let's see if Torii can earn his paycheck
RK: Until his average begins with a .3, I don't believe it. He used to be a .310-.320 guy. Then comes the contract: boom it's .240
WV: He had 100+ RBIs a few years ago and hasn't come close since
RK: Jesus, the Twins have more hit singles than the billboard top 40
WV: One thing I do like about Redmond: he has a chew in about the size of a softball
WV: So we should market our Boof line of beers. We'll say, "Formerly known as John Bonser beer"
RK: Y'know what? I wanna meet a guy named Sean who pronounces his name "seen". Jesus, Casey swung at a pitch that, no lie, bounced on the turf in front of the plate
WV: I think we know who wins the Baker/Bonser competition for 2006/7
RK: And once again, the Pierzynski trade goes down as the best trade in baseball history. Holy hell, backdoor breaking ball for a called 3rd strike on Granderson, that was brilliant. Boof is my new homeboy
WV: In 2 innings, Liriano has no hits, no runs, 4 ks
RK: It's official, Neshek has redeemed himself. He can now go to heaven with all the other good christian boys and good christian girls, except he's really into that lamb of god death metal band, so maybe not
WV: Hey, don't let anybody ever say Redmond's not worth his salt
RK: Or his chew. I imagine he has pounds and pounds just sitting in his locker
WV: Redmond doesn't rhyme with Redman for nothing
RK: Twitch 'n Pitch pulls it out like he always does, but damn, he can make me nervous. He's no Guardado, but still.
_______________
NOW WE COME TO PRAISE, NOT BURY, BOOF "JOHN" BONSER. For 7 solid innings of one-run baseball. This man deserves a beers named after him. Boof Ice, baby.
WV: There was a rumor Liriano would make the start but apparently he's going to Scranton
RK: Yeah, that was always the plan. I'm telling you, we should start a baseball rumor site and just say crazy shit and within a week it'll be on Baseball Tonight
WV: I like it. Fake interviews with Terry Ryan
RK: I mean, you could pretty much use the template: "______ to Yankees" and get some decent mileage out of it
RK: But as I watch the last moments of the Brady Quinn show I mean the Notre Dame game, I wonder, do you think JoePa has someone whose only job is to make sure he can find his car afterward?
WV: I have a good feeling about the Boofmeister tonight. We'll be getting Boofmeister Ice not Boofmeister Lite
RK: And Tech beat UNC, so there'll be 200% more cases of alcohol poisoning tonight [note: Robert is a graduate stduent at Virginia Tech and has seen the insanity first-hand] Hm, boof 6.7%. I like it. Not boof 3.2
WV: Yeah, none of that Boof 3.2. I like Boof cold filtered, never watered down, with only select infield hops
RK: I like it! I wasn't sure where you were going with that, but I'm glad you went there!
RK: Well hey, Boof looks passable so far
WV: There you went and jinxed him. He can still pull out. Ah, that's a good Boof. He's such a good Boof isn't he? He goes down crisp and smooth.
RK: For some reason, when i read that I hear Larry David's voice in my head
WV: Shit, you know all of my submerged metaphors. Well how's this for an explicit metaphor: Gardenhire is a goddam jackass for continuing to start Redmond in the 3 slot...and boom goes the dynamite
RK: Seems like a good slot for a guy who hits lefties well like, I dunno, NEVIN
WV: He only went what 2 for 3 last night. I knew this trade would be a...Harben-ger of bad luck...you know..cuz they trade Adam harben...err. Is this thing on?
RK: The power of dimples compels [the ball to get chopped up the middle for a hit]!
WV: I think yahoo should say "dimples" singled to center
RK: So let it be written, so let it be done. You know who i haven't thought about in ages? Shannon Stewart
WV: Oh you went there
RK: Seriously, is he ok?
WV: Somewhere Bobby Kielty starts to weep
RK: As he underperforms in Oakland
WV: Right
RK: And the only reason he's there, and I don't know if you'll remember this, but in '03 he hit one of Zito's curves about as hard as you can hit it, but it hooked foul. And the next pitch was the same thing, but it didn't hook that time. Billy Beane ejaculated, and there he is
WV: Nice. I like it
RK: I remember the game well. Funny the games I remember. I remember all 4 of Denny Hocking's career home runs
WV: Wow, for Cuddy, life really is a comedy of errors
RK: Bonser needs to get away from the Scott Baker school of pitching though. You know, the tee-ball 'everybody gets a turn every inning'
WV: It's really the Silva school of pitching
RK: Good point. The Plato to Baker's Aristotle
WV: Boof sure is living on the wild side tonight. His attack the strike zone mentality isn't the same when you're not playing the Royals
RK: Ha, yeah. Mark Grudzilanek doesn't strike fear in the hearts of men...or invertebrates. Y'know, with the Silva / Baker / Bonser trifecta, if I were the commissioner, I'd have the entire bullpen drug tested right now
WV: Let's see if Torii can earn his paycheck
RK: Until his average begins with a .3, I don't believe it. He used to be a .310-.320 guy. Then comes the contract: boom it's .240
WV: He had 100+ RBIs a few years ago and hasn't come close since
RK: Jesus, the Twins have more hit singles than the billboard top 40
WV: One thing I do like about Redmond: he has a chew in about the size of a softball
WV: So we should market our Boof line of beers. We'll say, "Formerly known as John Bonser beer"
RK: Y'know what? I wanna meet a guy named Sean who pronounces his name "seen". Jesus, Casey swung at a pitch that, no lie, bounced on the turf in front of the plate
WV: I think we know who wins the Baker/Bonser competition for 2006/7
RK: And once again, the Pierzynski trade goes down as the best trade in baseball history. Holy hell, backdoor breaking ball for a called 3rd strike on Granderson, that was brilliant. Boof is my new homeboy
WV: In 2 innings, Liriano has no hits, no runs, 4 ks
RK: It's official, Neshek has redeemed himself. He can now go to heaven with all the other good christian boys and good christian girls, except he's really into that lamb of god death metal band, so maybe not
WV: Hey, don't let anybody ever say Redmond's not worth his salt
RK: Or his chew. I imagine he has pounds and pounds just sitting in his locker
WV: Redmond doesn't rhyme with Redman for nothing
RK: Twitch 'n Pitch pulls it out like he always does, but damn, he can make me nervous. He's no Guardado, but still.
_______________
NOW WE COME TO PRAISE, NOT BURY, BOOF "JOHN" BONSER. For 7 solid innings of one-run baseball. This man deserves a beers named after him. Boof Ice, baby.