Pulling A Blyleven

PREGAME:

RK: I was just thinking, gordito should really stick to standard latino diet: barbecue chicken, rice, beans, and coke
then his tum tum would be fine. I mean, if matt garza has stomach problems, i get that. look at that scrawny guy. but silva looks like he has 4 stomachs like a cow.

WV: He must not have known that his "smash to the left field bleacher" pills had a nausea side effect

RK: Someone's gotta put on the throat magnets to keep track of the cud he's chewing

WV: His gut is about the only thing about him that's been sinking lately.

RK: It's not even fun to do statwork on Silva, he's been consistently awful all season.

WV: Right, it's like, how do you do a season split when his ERA is higher than Willie Nelson at all points of the season.

RK: Well, he's apologizing to the team it looks like.

WV: He should've done that in April.

1st Inning:

WV: Well Scott Baker looked good in his last st.....oh great.

RK: How old is Baker anyways, 13?

WV: He's given up more home runs than he's completed years

WV: I think that Cuddyer and Hunter are getting to fly balls at about the same rate these days.

RK: Since may, and with the exception of his last start against the yankees, baker has given up at least one home run in every start

WV: And Verlander has our number, beating us twice this year already. Last start going 8 innings, giving up 6 hits in a 2 to nothing Tigers win.

RK: Castillo down on three. ok, inge just made a hell of a play. and he got mauer. this will be interesting. and by "interesting" i mean "the top half of the inning will be longer than the bottom by about 5 fold"

2ND INNING:

RK: hahahaha, you have to laugh at this man

RK: Well, as Jean-Paul Sartre said, "Hell is watching Scott Baker pitch to anybody other than the Yankees"

WV: Great, just as Radke retires we've got a clone.

RK: Yeah, and now rick anderson is out there saying "whatchoo tryin' to do SA? get me fired?!"
espn mercifully showed us footage of liriano's impending return
that sure was nice of them.

WV: This game has Matt Guerrier written all over it.

RK: HEY, SCOTT BAKER STRIKEOUT! EVERYBODY GETS A FREE DOME DOG!

WV: Twins up..oop, there's an out.

RK: Well at least this game will be over before the daily show

4TH INNING:

RK:Bartlett should have thrown the ball to castillo for the dp
though i guess you can argue that 4 shuffle steps to 2nd and then a throw works too
except that it doesn't work but way for cuddy to pick 'em up.

WV: Cuddyer's defense has been decent tonight. It seems like his arm is underrated, but really it is just that Jacques Jones' throws were all over the place.

RK: i mean, he's certainly got the terrain mapped out he stands out there for so long each inning.

5TH INNING

WV: so when do you want to start the post game

RK: i suppose we could start it now. or talk about the weather

WV: Well, at least Daunte Culpepper is losing too.

REST OF GAME:

WV: this is really depressing
RK: yeah, but we owe it to our reader(s) to stick it out and blog the whole fucking game
WV: fuck me
RK: and doublefuck castillo! the hometeam is not supposed to lose balls in the ceiling!
right. for my next controversial statement...

WV: Just when I start entertaining ideas of jettisoning Silva when Liriano comes back, Baker goes and does this.
RK: Call it a 'gut' response: I'll take Baker
WV: Wow, in 20 innings Verlander has given up 1 run to the twins. Fuck us.

RK: the 6-4-3 double play: In three acts.
WV: Yeah, I guess Detroit's infield can skip fielding practice tomorrow.