Sunday, April 15, 2007


Boof's Theaetetus


The Naked Catcher: Hey Boof, did you know that your wikipedia entry says that you're "widely known more because of your name than because of your baseball skills"?

Boof: Hey, that sounds a lot like this blog I go to called "Pulling a Blyleven." Oh yeah, well, your entry claims that you're well-known amongst Twins fans for coining the phrase "smell those RBI's". Why don't you come up with another, like "smell those rotting pirhanas and their .050 batting average".

The Naked Catcher: You know, we could just go and change Wikipedia, I hear anyone can do it.

Boof: Really? No wonder WV and RK go off on their students for citing it in their term papers. Nah, leave the computer stuff up to Lew, we'll have him take a look at it when he's done with World of Warcraft.

The Naked Catcher: So you going to bounce back today or what?

Boof: Well, if pontoon can do it, anybody can. But I don't know, I am a little down after last time....

The Naked Catcher: Well, you know what I do when people are feeling down.......

Booof: Ok OK, I'll do great. For the love of all that is holy, leave your clothes on.

The Naked Catcher: Fair enough, let's go get 'em.


Boof has the, "I'm extremely hung over and just woke up" routine down to a 't'.

And Baldelli gets a hit to start things off. Remember Rocko's Modern Life? I guess tv shows back in the day were all about anthropomorphism and Australian accents. If Grant Balfour were around he'd know what I was talking about.

And the Naked Catcher has got a rocket for an arm, though it was a close play at 2nd. Nice job there guys.

If Buddy Holly were around, he'd look exactly like Joe Maddon. You can tell he's thinking about Peggy Sue over there in the dugout. Maybe he hiccups when he talks?

Well, Bonser wasn't flawless, but he gets through the first with minimal damage and no runs given up.


I don't know if you all have invested in's premium package, but this mosaic function sure is rocking my world. I think the 700k feed is even clearer when you download the mosaic program and watch from there. Anyways, we hate on a lot, I thought we should give props where it is due.

Seo may say that he has a split finger, but to me it looks a lot like Tony Fiore's palmball. I think that once we get through the line-up once or twice we'll be able to hit this guy. But for now, go find something better to do while the Twins hit.

Seo a good example of somebody who has survived Tommy John surgery, but according to..ahem...Wikipedia, he's not the same pitcher. What happens with Liriano remains to be seen, but it's within the realm of possibility he'll have to develop or improve on pitches other than the fastball and slider to be effective.

This season continues with the mind-boggling decision to bat Redmond 3rd. Honestly, Tyner 2nd and Redmond 3rd? What exactly are we expecting to do with this line-up?


The Kid from Grand Avenue has 1400 friends and family at the game, how many of those you think have become his "friends or family" in the last few seasons? In all fairness, nice to see Joe get that silver bat instead of the Anti-Christ from Kalamazoo.

One complaint with the Mosaic is its alert system. Is "David Dellucci On Deck for the Indians" really a news alert?

Boy, the scouting report on Mike Redmond delivered to the Rays must've been from Wikipedia. Excellent blocking of the bag by the Pear King, whether he actually did or not. And Maddon runs out to communicate to the ump that Peggy Sue got married not long uh-go-uh-oh.

The absence of the inflateable milk carton in right field is throwing me off with every foul ball hit that way. And a couple of k's for Boof, things looking good so far.


I know that it's in homage to Jackie Robinson, but I think Torrid should sport the high black socks more often, downright stylish are they, retro-style.

On a side note, I think that Sinn Fein's criticism of MLB for letting everyone wear number 42 if they so chose was wrongheaded. I agree that the fact that blacks only make up 8% of MLB rosters is a serious problem, but the criticism should be directed towards the failure of people with deep pockets to invest in youth leagues, equipment and facilities in underprivileged neighborhoods. I agree with Joe C. on his blog that, at the very least, the day honoring #42 gives occasion for such discussion, but that shouldn't preclude all people invested in the baseball operation from honoring Robinson. I mean, should Jeter be able to wear it even though he's bi-racial? Should he only get to wear the number '4' or '2'?

Anyways, back to being a smartass. Sinn Fein got most of the job done there, nearly all of it. It would be real disappointing if we let a man on 2nd and 3rd and no out opportunity only yield 1 run.

And, Kubel is doing his best to bring the aforementioned hypothesis to fruition. I'm going to have to question my status as Kubel apologist if this keeps up.

Good thing I never even was an L-Rod apologist.


Gosh, the Simpsons trivia question, "What color is Bart's t-shirt?" doesn't quite seem fair when there's a picture of him right in front of our faces.

The Reds sure got a Twins Castaway special going on today, Lohse and Juan Castro starting. Have they claimed J.D. Durbin off of waivers yet? It looks like everyone in the league will get their own chance to see that he is not and never was the Real Deal.

Boof's off-speed stuff looks really great today. Maybe good starting pitching is infectious? If that is true, it would have to be relative, because it sure as hell didn't seem that way last season. Or, maybe Bert's been showing him some curveball tricks.

Boy, the Pear King owes the MVP a pizza for precluding him from moving even higher up the most errors made list.


We've got the entire Jasonthing in the line-up today. And together, they haven't contributed much. Sort of like my commentary on this half inning.


Who does Boof think he is, Santana? It doesn't seem like it is a question of the Rays being inexperienced, most of these breaking pitches look like they'd be strikes and his fastballs, for the most part, have caught the corners. In terms of location, when he's not wild, his fastballs are alternating well it seems between up in the zone and down, so all and all some good signs from Boof's outing thus far. The velocity on the fastball seems to be in mid-season form as well.

Torii does his best Kubel bumblebee routine, but locates the ball at long last, and unlike Jason, actually catches it. Yeah, I'm going to miss that guy next year too.


I've been trying to keep a positive attitude about the offense thus far, being that they scored 12 runs last night. But come on, now it's about time to give Boof some wiggle room.

Well, apparently the Twins don't read PAB inbetween innings. If they did, and they used MLB Mosaic, they would know that it's time to hit, and as a bonus, also be aware that Chris Duncan is on 1st for the Cardinals.


Hard to believe the Rays have been around for 10 years. Has anybody contributed less and been around for so long? Oh yeah, 7TH HEAVEN.

The 3-0 count to Young had me a little concerned there that Boof was running out of steam, but he looks to be back on track.

Uh oh, Redmond's limping. 20 bucks says Heintz is on a plane to Minnesota already. Wait...Redmond's ok? Better bring in Heintz anyway.

How long before people stop believing Carlos Peña has potential and start comparing him to Scott Stahoviak? In any case, I think it's a good move to walk him and pitch to Gomes. And it's not like those two curveballs, as Bert has pointed out 6 times, were easy to take.

So they get a run, and all it serves to demonstrate is that we need more than 1 goddam run of support from our offense.

Excellent way to battle back there Boof, 1 run in 5 innings isn't anything to be ashamed of.

Rocko's Modern Life Baldelli, apparently, said last night that "we didn't come prepared to play this game". How about the last decade buddy?


Dick correctly guesses the Aflac Trivia Question just as they're showing it--real smooth there, Champ.

Ha, Kubel will probably not steal another bag the entire season. Lucky for him, despite the throw arriving 5 seconds before he did, the ball went into center field.

Despite the Pear King's past transgressions, he's made up for it with some good hitting today. To be totally honest, I wasn't sure Kubel would be able to limp home unless Bartlett hit a triple. But in any case, we retake the lead. And Chris Duncan is again on deck for the Cardinals.

Somebody's been letting Little Nicky teach Casilla his dive headfirst base running tactics. It's like when you were little and the bad kid in class taught you how to raise your middle finger. As a loving parent, another small part of me dies on the inside.


Well if John Maddon is Buddy Holly, Harris is the Big Bopper. God bless it all anyway (I'm avoiding cursing now after remembering being taught how to raise my middle finger in the 1st grade).

Well now that I've tossed every object on my desk except for my computer to the other side of the room, maybe I can comment on how much this inning has sucked so far. All I can say is that the fastball has started to look kind of flat, and now the Rays have figured out that he's working them away and they're knocking it into the right field bleachers. Unfortunate ending to Boof's day because up to this point he's done pretty well.

What a bad inning to feel deep-seeded adolescent guilt over cursing. Fuck it, my hand was forced.

Yeah, and since we're two runs down I think we can pretty much call it a day. Unless we honestly expect Tyner, Redmond, L-Rod et al. to storm us back into the lead.

You know, in a way we are disseminating an account of this MLB game. Take that suits.

FINALLY, someone who is a pirhana besides the Pear King does something worthwhile. Man, I hope Tyner, Redmond and L-Rod make me eat my words.

Redmond sure did his best to make me look smart there, good thing Harris thought he was throwing to Shaq.

This guy is throwing between 75 and 85 mph, how hard can it be? Granted, it would be plenty hard for me, but come on.

It's really quite depressing.


And on comes Guerrierrreat!, and hopefully he lives up to his moniker. And no, I don't want him to be a sweetened corn flake. i mean, pitch well.

And he better not scrape the top of my mouth either, that SOB.

And as usual, he was, in fact, Guerrierrreat!


Yes Bert, Torii might have gotten that single for Jackie Robinson, but how about for my own sanity? Oh..that sounds bad doesn't it.

My status as Kubel apologist is now firmly entreanched. That said, I hope they pinch run for him.

That was a beautiful slide by Torii, btw. He's got intangibles. Personally, I think it's the black socks pulled up.

PEARS ARE IN SEASON! The Twins have been successful this inning due to having some giddy-up to their step. Let's not look past L-Rod's advancing Kubel to 3rd with 1 out, if not for that we'd still be down a run.


RK: Anyway, looks like I got back just in time

WV: Indeed you have. We're all pretending that it's 0-0.

RK: Oh good. I don't believe in the linearity of time anyway. Oh of course I do. Time travel's impossible

WV: Hey, wait until you see this this flux capacitor I just invented.

RK: Didn't we see Flux Skapacitor in concert at some point in our teenaged lives?

WV: We did. Name me a single word that contains "ca" or "ka" that a ska band hasn't exploited

RK: That's the basic template, isn't it. Oh yeah, good inning from Guerrier.


WV: I wonder if the Twins hitters realize they actually need to be up by a run to win.

RK: This is not UEFA soccer, fellas


RK: I'm more of a Bundesliga guy myself. I like Bayern Muenchen - they have the best midfielder in the world, Bastian Schweinsteiger

WV: Oh dear, we didn't need that from Joseph B. Nathan

RK: No we didn't. But I've seen the Twins waste enough lead off doubles to know that you can rebound.

WV: And so hope remains

RK: And so the Veep now has a number greater than zero for his ERA


RK: Does the applause after the first out qualify as a Bronx cheer?

WV: I believe it does, and I want to find the doofus who is booing and pop him.

RK: Everyone has a right to a bad day every once in a while.

WV: Oh absolutely

RK: This doesn't make me lose any faith in Joseph W. Nathan

WV: Apparently Redmond thinks he's in the Bundesliga too

RK: Is there a rule about booting the ball back to the pitcher?

WV: I don't think so.

RK: Well, if this score holds up, we'll have seen a strange trend in the series of our sure bets not being so sure.

WV: This reminds me of playing the Rays circa 2001-02

RK: Oh sweet merciful Jeebus


WV: Well, looks like the ump is in a hurry to finish this thing.

RK: Haha, you could see Justin say "wooow" after he asked the ump

WV: Adding insult to injury, it's snowstorming in the middle of April.

RK: That new stadium better get a retractable roof

WV: Morneau's out to prove that he could hit homeruns if the entire stadium were fair territory too.

RK: I'd be heartened by a Hunter walk until I realize who we have batting after him
My reaction to the D-Rays warming up their closer was similar to when I found out that Nepal has an air force.

WV: And he's 37 years old

RK: Wow. Gardy's gotta come out here, he's been too even keeled this season.

WV: Boy. That's a big strike zone there

RK: "Last hope for the Twins is Kubel" Abandon hope, ye who watch this game

WV: Hey now, Kubel has helped more than he's hurt. It's L-Rod batting next that should concern us.

RK: The truth is brutal: your grandma's kugel

WV: Ha. Nice.

WV: Sigh.I take it back, Kubel sucks.



RK: Well, many out-of-character things happened today

RK: Good starting pitching by the Rays

RK: Nathan's meltdown

WV: Some timely Twins hitting, for what it is worth.

WV: Well, a series against Seattle and then against the Royals ought to help out. Taking 2 out of 4 from Tampa isn't ideal, but it's not the worst either.

RK: Yeah, we're still right in the thick of it, so it seems we're avoiding the freefall a la 2006

Good job by Kubel, I will give him props today....BUT I'm still not on the bandwagon.
Speaking of Schweini, did you hear that there was a little bit of a set-to because a butcher in München was selling little Würstchen and calling them "Schweini's" here is a link to DW's article from a couple of weeks ago if you want to read it. Headline: Butcher comes of Wurst in Sausage War With Schweini (cringe),,2425777,00.html?maca=en-rss-en-ger-1023-rdf
I'm a bit concerned about the Nathanest. I'm willing to give a free pass to guys for the occassional bad day; it happens to the best of us. Heck, Rivera blew a save for the Yanks on a three-run homer.

But Nathan has been struggling all year. He got very lucky on Thursday night. This time, he didn't get that kind of a break. Apparently, Dazzle was saying that all the hard-hit balls came on breaking pitches, and I did note that he was still blowing his fastball by guys. So maybe he just needs to work on controlling his breaking pitches more while relying on the fastball more in the meantime?
I'd say that sounds about right, Nick.
There are a lot more than 8% blacks in mlb, but not Af-ams, who are perfectly free to play if they want to. The media likes playing these things up so no one will look at their record of hiring. Why aren't there more blacks in sports media? I'm talking big media, not blogging. Everyone is perfectly free to do that.
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