Saturday, April 14, 2007


Here Comes the Rain Again


WV is establishing domestic tranquility, so you're stuck with li'l ol' me tonight. The pontoon is pitching, so I'll do some housekeeping. Sorry I'm late, but sometimes dinner takes longer than you anticipated.

W: I attend VTech as well, and you're the only Twins fan I've heard of on that campus.

God doesn't control Johan Santana, so what makes you think that our unavailability controls the quality of his pitching? We have to remeber that he's at his most vincible in April, and only 2 runs of support doesn't help either.

But seriously, I was at a ridiculous 80s party last night. 3 DJs, costumes, etc. Would you have skipped that? I hope not. I might post pictures, because you can't believe how much fun we're having (points to those who get the Atmosphere reference).

It's gonna be a long game with Sidney on the mound. Welcome to the Grindhouse.


Ponson is making quick work of the Rays, and that's, I suppose, something to hang on his mantle.


Tyner leads off with a single, and that's the kind of piranta action we need, to let Joe get some opportunities for RsBI.

Jackson's walking everybody in the universe, and this is probably the reason that Minnesota is often among the healthiest states in the Union.

Sister Jensen, I did not know that, but I'm not sure being knighted by Burger King counts.

Do you think we've been behaviorally conditioned to automatically jump everytime we hear "Sandstorm" by Darude?

I know that Bert et al are all about the small ball, and you'll never hear anybody so excited by a single by the MVP, but I agree with them here that the single by Moryes was excellent.

Poor Devil Rays, they can't even turn a double play when Torii gift-wraps one.

It would be easier with Kugel up there, since he can't really run. Mmmm, kugel. To the sac fly, I nod approvingly.

Before the inning even begins, let me just reiterate: FREE GARZA.


I like how at this point we've enetered the phase where we all say, "Well, Ponson's a 5th starter... only want 5 good innings, etc."

Even though that should have, by all rights, been a triple, there are a couple of things to note: 1. Cuddy's arm still is underrated. 2. The blunder wasn't in trying to extend it into a triple, but by TAKING BOTH FEET OFF THE BAG BOUNCING UP FROM SLIDING WHILE THE TAG IS BEING APPLIED. That's just ugly.


REASON 1432 WHY WE NAMED THIS BLOG AFTER BERT BLYLEVEN: He just compared baserunning by the Devil Rays to an episode of Dennis the Menace, which, by my count, aired 15-20 years ago. This means Bert watched the cartoon well into adulthood. I love this guy.

During this pitching change, I'll address sheshrugged's message re: Derrida but no Foucault? I can't speak for WV, but I'm not much of a fan of either writer. The list of erudition is just works that we've brought up, implicitly or explicitly, and it needs to be dusted off, because I think WV brought up "The Politics of Friendship" at some point, but my critique of Foucault in a nutshell is that he didn't say anything I didn't read in The Frankfurt School, and Derrida just does a lot of linguistic trickery. Calling "difference" differance doesn't really solve the issues, just sidesteps. I understand that's a really quick and dirty dismissal, but there you have it.

Pear King does what an offense-slumping shortstop does: base thievery! All your bases are belong to us!

With Tyner whiffing, it's up to Grand Avenue Joe to bring in Bartlett. But he doesn't feel like it now and it would be most unwise of us to question his judgment.


Pontoon makes quick work of the first two outs then starts falling apart. Don't get me wrong: I'm intimately familiar with losing steam as it goes along, but still. Please just get this final out.

While I'm waiting for this to be over, here's how you know you had a good night: when you wake up the next morning and every muscle in your body is sore from all the dancing, and you have to check out the pictures on facebook to make sure you're aware of everything that happened.

And Sidney Ponson is in line for the win. Stranger things have happened.


I bet Justin wishes he could get that AB back.

Oh no! I'm so disappointed to hear that Torii Hunter has "This is why I'm hot" as his intro music. That song is so... vapid. It constitutes a vacuum, which, as we know from the laws of physics, nature abhors.

Just like I abhor Wheat Thins. It's true.

On the other hand, you hit a double, you can play any song you want.

Kind of an ugly at-bat by apple kugel, but I suppose Torii makes up for it? Eh.

Twins are 100% of stealing bases. Again: All your bases are belong to us!


Leadoff triple, 4-pitch walk, why isn't Gardy walking out there to lift him?

Wait wait wait, Twins Tradeup is on tonight at 9:30 on FSN North, and Dick said that Matt LeCroy would let you into his life "as much as Matt will let you into his life." I was all "QTF mate?" (think Spanish) But then he said he was just joking and Matt's a fun guy. I bet he is. To have dinner with.

And the boat's docking. It's always so tough backing these things in.

Oh Joowan, you've not been looking good so far this year. With that wild pitch, the double play is no longer in order (even though the run didn't score), and your ERA is kinda high. Hopefully you get better. Toodlepip, RK.

Hey, there is respect for the cannon that Cuddly refers to as his "right arm"

Joowan makes me shut up, which I like. Also, unrelatedly, a prime quality I look for in ladytypes.


Whoa, somehow I missed the first 2 outs of this half-inning. But that's OK, because I'm a firm believer in a number of things. A working list:

1. Science
2. The laws of nature
3. Birthdays
4. 2 out rallies.
6. French cuff shirts

Mauer's at-bat hearkens to number (4).

Wow, Cuddy hit that ball so hard, Iwamura backed up and probably thought to himself: DO NOT WANT.

And the MVP pours it on. I like to see this, the guy getting his cuts in.

OK, now we're just showing off. And I'm giddy. Believe in the rally!


As I'm attempting to put together an anagram for Jason Kubel, Rincon had a 1-2-3 inning. I like it when that happens.


UND representin'! Business somethingorother, I don't know. Everybody in my family before me went to NDSU, so I suppose I'm more of a Thundering Herd fan than a Fighting Sioux fan, though I really don't care very much one way or the other.

L-Rod just dinged one? Sometimes when I go to El Rod's on Main Street and have a coupla huge margaritas, I feel like I've been dinged a little bit too. I will rename that restaurant Luis Rodriguez.

Let's see if Sandcastle can continue the hot piranta action.

My heart jumped into my throat for Jason Tyner there - it was so close! He deserves a home run more than anybody ever has ever deserved anything ever.

I'm prone to hyperbole.

Wow, Cuddly McDimples 'n' Sons is having a hell of a game. And the Rays don't know how to play the field apparently. Just throw to second!


Well... the bullpen's doing its thing. Awesome. So let me ask you this: Is Children of Men good? Should I watch it?


Ha, Kugel rocks Rage when he goes to the plate. I'd keep him around for that reason and that reason alone.

More stuff happened, but I'm just looking at the standings and seeing that so far, I'm right about the Janky Lo-Fi's being a middle of the pack team, and good to see the Bitch Sox off to a less-than-scorching start.


Ah, the Pear King found his glove. Welcome back to the fold.

Glen Perkins doesn't look too shabby here, and of course as I write that, Pena knocks a 3-run blast. Not what we wanted to see Glen, not what we wanted.

Wow, the sandcastle's catch showed some structural integrity. That should be at least top 3 on Web Gems tonight.


I'm not going to lose my mind over thumping the Rays. But the output by the offense was impressive from 3 areas:

1. The pirantas coming up with key hits, and the oh-so-close double by Tyner
2. Cuddy Ruxpin going 8 for 5
3. The doctor and Sinn Fein going with the pitches and not forcing the issue by trying to pull them.

Tomorrow, we'll get to see Naked Batting Practice catch, and on the off-day, we'll try to do a little site maintenance. Should be fun for everybody!

So Mr. RK....were you aware that it is actually Sir Sidney?? That's right...he was knighted....kinda crazy...

That's hilarious: yeah, there's no one here that's a Twins fan. I saw some guy wearing a TC hat a week ago, but otherwise: nada. We should meet up at the Cellar sometime. email if you like (at (at) to what I wrote last time).
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