Saturday, April 28, 2007


Too Good For Mel Kiper

If you'd told me that a month into the season Carlos Silva and Justin Verlander would have the same amount of wins, I'd have said you were loony. Verlander's career ERA against Minnesota, 0.82, isn't bad. The good news, he's right handed (A northpaw?). So if you can tear yourself away from the gripping action that is the NFL draft, we've got some Saturday afternoon blogging comin' at chya.


Nice stop there Rabelo, you could play goalie for the Wild.

If Tyner and Punto are getting singles off of Verlander...what can our significant pirhanas do? Next, on a Current Affair!

Now, I'm as irritated as anyone at Punto being picked off, but he might have been safe there.

1st and 3rd, no outs....Oh the futility.


They executed, we didn't. Baseball's a simple game. Anyways, the throw out at 3rd becomes important after Guillen's triple. It seems like Carlos is fortunate to escape with only 2 runs given up.


WV: Moryes smoked that pitch into the right field gap, now let's see if they can actually do anything with the lead off double.

RK: goddammit, how many innings have the twins started with the lead?

WV: Not many. Kubel thinks he's playing golf apparently.

RK: But good to see that he can pick up the offspeed stuff a little bit

WV: He's very intimate with anything that moves slowly

RK: And he comes through. The apology (strictly defined) continues!

WV: Sean Casey, not exactly a gold glover

RK: Or much of a hitter. He's Detroit's D-Mohr. Player with tons of heart

WV: You have to love the suicide squeeze.

RK: One of the best plays in the game

WV: These Detroit announcers are ridiculous, "Polanco was expecting a bunt there". He was? Looked like a pretty close play at first.

RK: True, but give them some credit, they're not bad - giving the Twins some credit where it's due

WV: We do enough ragging that we certainly should.

RK: Hopefully the boys can knock Verlander out early today

WV: Right, and I guess Detroit has forgotten how to play baseball temporarily.

RK: Is that Jemarcus Russel in center?

WV: Nice.Good thing this inning has taken so long, they've had plenty of time to massage Carlos' fragile ego

RK: "New ball game, big chief"

WV: Do you think Cuddy takes offense to this or is he just, "Well, it's Joe Mauer, no shit"

RK: Much as I love Cuddy, I think we all understand

WV: Even moreso now.


WV: Punto's the only 3rd baseman not to make an error yet this season

RK: But Eric Chavez will still win the gold glove because he'll hit 30 homers

WV: Good thing Inge doesn't feel like taking the bat off his shoulder

RK: Well...Silva seems to have settled down. I know I speak for Bert here when I extol the virtues of putting up a zero after a big offensive inning for your team

WV: I like to think that we're always speaking for Bert.


WV: We have the MVP, they don't.

RK: That's simple mathematics, my friend

WV: Morneau is unencumbered by the laws of physics, nature, gravity, and reality

RK: He can now be referred to as Moryes until further notice.

WV: I'll stop referring to him as his slumping alter-ego "Justine"

RK: Ha!

WV: Willy Mays Hayes tracks down that fly ball

RK: That's a homer virtually anywhere else

WV: Or so I like to think

WV: 5 runs on consecutive nights, I feel like we should crack open some Dom Perignon or something.

RK: I'm gonna drink some classy beer tonight: Budweiser instead of Natural Ice

WV: You know you're having a bad day when L-Rod nearly hits one out.

RK: Even if nothing comes of this, I'm glad they turned the lineup over


WV: I miss the miserly version of Silva

RK: Yeah, the guy that had more wins than walks. That guy was awesome

WV: Tigers announcer on Polanco: "He's a master and he swings a magic wand"

WV: Uh..I feel violated.

RK: Now roll the 20 sided die to see +1 MP

WV: Long strike

RK: Caaaaalm down Carlos

WV: "Sheffield, he's an amateur and he swings an assbat wand"

RK: Well, six of one, half a dozen of the other

WV: Either way, runners on 1st and 2nd, one out

RK: I'll trade Sheffield for Granderson on the base paths

WV: Absolutely

RK: Old McDonald is not getting on Mauer's Christmas card list

WV: Nope. And thank goodness for the infield fly rule due to the confusion between Barlett and L-Rod as to who would catch it.



WV: .548 lifetime average? Silva is Carlos Guillen's bitch

RK: I think we're gonna see an unintentional intentional walk

WV: Throw out at home on Polanco's single, I reiterate what I said about Sheffield for Granderson

RK: What a block of the plate by the Chairman

WV: Global Warming can't be stopped, but he can sure as hell stop you


WV: Not to jinx anything, but we've knocked around so called ace righthanders this season: Verlander, King Felix, Mussina

WV: You know, I'm not sure they threw over to first enough times. Maybe Tyner should've been more careful on the pickoff.

RK: That did look a little bit like a balk maybe

WV: Woke Gardy up if nothing else. He's been a tamer bear this season so far.

WV: That only looked like a nice catch by Monroe because he got such an awful jump on Mauer's hit.

RK: He and Kubel are perhaps kindred spirits.


WV: So Silva either pitches for 2 hours or 2 minutes

WV: While most people catch rubella, this Rabelo catches you!

RK: I think we have yet another nickname to add to our impressive repetoire


RK: That was. Gordito does seem to have settled down.


RK: Cuddy on a rope!

WV: Let's be honest, Trade Bait would have tried to stretch that into a double

RK: Definitely.

WV: Morneau's a triple short of the cycle.

RK: Might be possible, even for a guy like MVP

WV: He'll have to borrow Rondell's hoverboard.

RK: But the dirt's like water. Doesn't work on the basepaths

WV: Riiight.

RK: Cuddy steals third and..Rabello's mitt is a venus fly trap

WV: Wow, Cuddyer would have been out by a mile

RK: Stupid baserunning: Get to know it.

WV: I wonder what made him take off flat-footed late like that

RK: Can we put this one on Ullger?

WV: Or a pissed off bumblebee.

RK: Hahaha, I can imagine Dimples running to third screaming "Bees bees bees! Get 'em off get 'em off get 'em off!"



WV: I have no idea what's going on

RK: This is the good kind of obstruction, not like the bowel variety.

WV: Oh, I see. Kinda bush league, but it helps the guys

RK: Oh God, Leyland is going to chain-smoke 3 packs tonight

WV: You can call it Bush league, but the inner fascist in me says, "that's why there are rules"

RK: We exist in numerous gray areas. This is one of them

WV: I heart Rubick's Kubel

RK: Y'hear that Matt?

WV: Yeah Matt, the truth is brutal, your grandma's Kubel

RK: With the dipsey doodle, the kit and caboodle

WV: Yeah, what up Detroit?

RK: You stay classy, Motown

WV: For Leyland, it's one of those days

RK: Leyland's got impressive jazz-hands, I'll give him that

WV: In all of this ruckus, Carlos has already been to the Old Country Buffet and back

RK: Hell, I've had time to go the Detroit Old Country Buffet and back

WV: We'll be here all day! No, for real. All damn day.

WV: Adrian Peterson will have been drafted and gone to his first pro bowl by the end of this game.

RK: Brady Quinn will have announced his candidacy for the President of the United States by the end of this game

WV: And L-Rod puts his hacky sack skills to use on that HBP

RK: Lloyd McClendon is a bench coach? He hitting people with bats in Detroit now?

WV: Remember when he coached the Pirates and picked up 2nd base and left with it when he was ejected?

RK: Of course


WV: Tiger's announcer: "Inge not seeing Silva too well today". Boy, Inge must be blind.

RK: I see him just fine

WV: Look at Gordito sprint over to first

RK: I felt it

WV: Don't look now but Gordito's an inning away from a quality start on the road.


WV: Remember Lew Ford?

RK: The experiment is charging


WV: In the last couple of starts it has been the 6th and 7th innings where he imploded, so let's hope for the best.

WV: Look at knees hop on that hoverboard

RK: Jason Kubel on... defense?

WV: Rubella's up

RK: Nothing like a little Rabelo influenza to get you out of an inning.

WV: I feel for the guy though

RK: Ironically, Rubella's known for his defense.

WV: Keeps Typhoid Mary away

RK: Alright, congratulations where congratulations are due

WV: 1st major league hit.

RK: Meanwhile, Gordito needs to get out of this inning.

RK: He's making me nervous again

WV: Well, it wouldn't be Silva without some drama right

RK: Well, quality start from the big man.


RK: i looked up and just realized there was two outs

WV: 14 hits today, holy hell

RK: Game already 2 and a half hours long and it's the top of the 7th. Also holy hell


RK: Honestly, I'm losing steam over here

WV: Even Brady Quinn is more non-plussed than I am with this afternoon's developments

RK: Freddy Garcia would have fallen asleep mid-pitch

RK: I'm going to try watching the game listening to the Scissor Sisters to make it more exciting

RK: Not sure Death Metal would approve

WV: It just won't end.

RK: You've got to get three, boys

WV: Be honest--that didn't concern you at all did it? You just knew Torrid would get to it

RK: Of course I knew. I'd only have confidence if Torii were there. Running away from the ball and jumping to get it? Routine.


RK: Joe Mauer continues his Joe Mauer start

WV: He's got his mo-joe working

RK: A not undesirable result

WV: Longest game ever

RK: Morneau wins Jimmy John's delivery of the game. How appropriate

WV: We shall soon see if we're blocked from the feed.

RK: Until then, let's see how Grilli's diamond and platinum teeth pitch

WV: Remember when they outscored us 33-1 last year at this time?

RK: A reversal of fortunes from last year, yes?

WV: I'm an inch away from focusing entirely on my Mega Man X super nintendo rom

RK: Sting Chameleon demands all your attention when you get to that point

WV: I was just losing attention, but then I heard the Hardware Hank commercial where Gardy seductively barks. I'm all here now.

9TH INNING, Twins 11 Tigers 3


RK: Of the best variety

WV: And in comes Rochester to face the Tigers

RK: I think they can manage to hold this 11 to 3 lead.


Johan pitching tomorrow guys, get your brooms out.

Hello, offense.

Welcome back.
Tell me you've heard the Nick Punto diamond commercial. I heard it the other day, followed immediately by the Messers. Monotone talking about the superiority of Jimmy Johns.

Too much. They can hit the shit out of baseballs and I'm sure they're nice guys, but they need some lessons in inflection from Torii Hunter.

Joe Mauer continues his Joe Mauer start, indeed.
"Johan pitching tomorrow guys, get your brooms out."

YAY!! I'm excited.

Nice game by the boys today, by the way!
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