Wednesday, June 13, 2007

 

Don't Stop--

PREGAME

Yes, to those who get the title, I thought my cable went out too. I'd love to hear if any of you have opinions about the Sopranos series finale. But then again, this is also a baseball blog.

Barry Bonds is first in the national league in OPS. There.

I heard that somewheres today.

Just, y'know, start thinking of things to talk about. I hear we have a Silva (3-7, 4.58 ERA) taking the mound.

But then think of 1991. Wasn't 1991 awesome?

"Hi ho Silva, away!" I love you, Bert, but that caballo isn't going anywhere very fast.

TOP 1ST

Stacey, thanks for the welcome. Minnesota was amazing and all. WV and I are both avid Sopranos-lovers. I have nostalgic reasons, living in Newark for a little while, but it's probably the best drama to date. Anyway.

Well that shouldn't have happened, the little pow-wow a few feet off the bag between Silva and the good doctor.

DO NOT RUN ON JOE!

I've got some good vibes here. Good times, great oldies, wait, no, that's a radio promo.

BOTTOM 1ST

Joey Joe Joe Shabbado batting second? OK, I'm just so glad to see him back, hittin' balls all over the place like he does.

Oh Francouer (Fhqwkads?), either had a throw errant, or he threw to third on purpose. Neither justifies him being on the cover of ESPN The Magazine (distributed on Earth The Planet) a few years ago. Oh yeah, I'll get anachronistic all over his ass. Skinner would be so mad.

The Twins took a first inning lead! See, I leave for a week and everything turns around! I thought I was living in bizarro-world.

Sometimes even the littlest carbombs drive in runs, right Sinn Fein?

TOP 2ND

Coincidence: Joowan's baby is substantially smaller than Gordito's?

No.

Well, sometimes they find the holes.

Cuddy plays a good right field. But what I'm really digging is how Dick and Bert keep mollycoddling him. "It's on the ground, so that's encouraging." "That was in the air, but it was up there too long, so Cuddyer could get under it." Pretty soon we'll hear "He really battled his tail off." Wait, wrong guy.

Way to get out of that Smuckers Raspberry Jam, big guy.

BOTTOM 2ND

Lew Ford Experience: POWER UP!

Wow, I even wrote that before he hit that ball. Good feelings, people, good feelings.

Two bags the hard way for Bartlett. He is, as we say, fleet afoot.

And then he shows Atlanta how one properly steals third. You only do it when you can make it.

This might just be the '91 hex. Can we call it that? I mean, stranger things have happened in this matchup. Remember the hit and run with Tom Prince last time these teams got together? And he ended up scoring from first to win it in extra innings? 2002? Can someone help me out with that one?

TOP 3RD

All these leadoffs hit. Can we be done with this?

Holy crap it's Tim Laudner!



The magic of Launder is rubbing off!

"We found a way to get up though, baby!" Only you, Bert. Only you.

BOTTOM 3RD

Double from Dimples McSweetcheeky O'bigbat, to be driven in by a home run with a majestic arc by the MVP. I am such a romantic. WV will tell you as much.

BOOM BOOM BOOM, sulfuric phosphate in the carbon tubing sounds as such. I have no idea if any of that is true or grounded in science, but you also know that figuring that out would go against the whole ethos of this here blog.

That and probably put me on a watch list or two.

Stacey, I found that card on the internet. I'm probably breaking some law, so don't go blabbing.

Oh, and then some outs were made. By some people. Not the ones who hit home runs. Biting commentary that you can only hear from such incisive insightfulness found right here, and for no cost to you at all!

TOP 4TH

Dick, really. Normally I don't want to challenge peoples' linguistic conventions, but it's most certainly NOT uncanny that Silva gives up some hits. In fact, most normal evidence points to such a conclusion.

The Lew Ford Experiment must be tuned up to take less zig-zag patterns to catch fly balls. That worries me when I see that.

Hot diggety damn!

BOTTOM 4TH

Around the division:

Detroit and Cleveland are both locked up in ties in the late innings.

The White Sox and Royals are irrelevant.

It felt really good to say that about the Bitch Sox

No luck tonight for the King of the Castle. Good hit balls, but right at 'em.

That was a fortuitous time to do around the division, because that was a blah inning.

TOP 5TH

T-1000, you make an excellent liquid metal point: The Wire is indeed poised to be the greatest drama of all time. It's downright Dickensian. It's a very close second, and the next (final?) season might cinch the deal.

And Silva is pitching... well. Don't Stop Believin', indeed.

BOTTOM 5TH

Cuddy is havin' himself a night. He's flirting with .300 here.

Stacey: Well... that's unclear. I suppose you just have to make the decision for yourself.

Wait, what? I thought that was a foul tip? Man, sorry I couldn't put more in here this inning. Fellow Mac users can probably attest to the fact that Safari is a fickle little browser and while I know I should be using something else, I keep coming back to it. Why? Why?

TOP 6TH

I don't mind the fact that 2 quick outs will truncate my pithy remarks, but only when the good guys are pitching, obvs. That's short of obviously.

I smell a Web Gem by the Pear King!

BOTTOM 6TH

LFE, POWER DOWN.

Bobby Cox looks like a sad panda.

After 2 quick outs, I was tempted to say hey, it's not so bad, let's get this thing over with. Quick outs around! But that's a wrong thought and wrong thinking will be punished.

I thought that Baltimore Chop by Castillo looked promising, but that was a good bit of fielding on the Braves part. Credit where credit's due...

TOP 7TH

There have been 8 leadoff hits in 7 innings. Hush, with Silva, all things are possible.

Dick says the number is actually 5, but I know what I didn't see.

Well, the Beermakers have overtaken Los Tigres, which is good. Clevelandia, however, looks like they'll beat Florida.

Man alive, the NL Central looks pathetic. Not unlike the AL East.

Fhqwkads is hitting the ball pretty well here, but I'm hoping for a double play, which happened as I was typing this sentence.

What a magical night!

BOTTOM 7TH

Mini Mauer Walker? What the hell is that?

Honestly, I'm flustered about this!

Oh, they explained it. I had an ape like that, but I found that if you turned the knob as it was walking, sparks would fly out of its mouth. Toys were awesome 20 years ago. I'm pretty sure that at that rate of regression, people in the 60s were playing with acid-tipped spikes.

Well that was a whole lot of nothing.

TOP 8TH

Hey, a strikeout! That's uh, let's see, it's been a while... do you signify that with a K? Backwards K in this instance?

Wow - what a night!

Dear Gardy,

Leave Silva in.

Love,

RK (*ruff!*)

BOTTOM 8TH

"You would have had Carlos sitting on top of you," and it would also be the last thing you ever experienced on this mortal coil.

So Bert, you pull a lot of muscles by being strong? I like the way you think. It's sort of like how I have this notion that everything can be a vegetable if you think about it enough. Like vanilla ice cream. It has vanilla extract, which is derived from a plant, which is a vegetable.

And that's logic.

TRUST ME.

I don't get it. So because athletes don't stretch enough, they get injured? Do we really live in a world full of Ken Griffey Jrs.? Is that a world we want to live in?

Again, Dick and Bert, love ya, but this descent into calisthenics is boring as hell.

And a gem:

Bert: My body likes beer!
Dick: ... okay.

That made it all worth it tonight. I should just stop right now. Oh soft, you know I'd never do that to you. Except when I do that to you, but not now.

TOP 9TH

What a bizarre intro: double flat panel screens, one clear, one cloudy? Who's in the graphics department over there at FSN North?

Dick, you are doing everything you can to jinx this. Let's see if the '91 hex overcomes your logorrhea.

So far, so good.

YAHTZEE!

POSTGAME

From Bert:

"Hi ho Silva!"

"Papa Silva"

And Dick, you're lucky that the '91 hex outweighs your inability to not jinx the hell out of people.

You know what this is like? Like when you go to eat a donut, and then you realize that there's a delicious filling inside. I mean, a donut's never bad, but when you get that strawberry filling when you weren't expecting it? Divine. It's like Silva. He's a decent pitcher, and you'd probably take him, even if you weren't all that hungry, but performances like these are the filling. I live in the land of tortured analogies.

Comments:
you're back! yay, this makes me happy, although we've been doing a pretty good job of occupying ourselves. I didn't watch the Sopranos, but I do have one baseball thing...let's hope Silva doesn't suffer a breakdown in his pitching (it's not good enough to begin with) like Nathan did after his wife gave birth earlier in the season. I don't think I could handle a big pitching meltdown today after such a good game yesterday. So yeah, welcome back.
 
RK, did you find that card on the internet, or do you actually own it and just scanned it in?
 
I think the Wire is slightly better than the Sopranos. Although Tony may be the greatest character in television history.
 
did they end up killing Tony on the finale? I managed not to hear anyone talking about it after Sunday.
 
I hear you about safari. There is something unwholesome about firefox.
 
SILVA!! COMPLETE GAME!!!
So... I haven't really been watching or following, and they've been winning. And the two games I've been to recently, they lost.
So yeah, I have to think about this. Haha.
 
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