Friday, June 01, 2007


The First 100 Posts Are The Hardest To Make

And that being so, we've decided to take the night off and let you reader loyalists write the post yourselves.

In that vein, feel free to inning by inning, or event by event, leave your commentary in either the chatbox or the comments section (please refer to what happened or which inning you are referring to). When we get back to the computer, we'll arrange everything in chronological order and post it, with some minor editing (but not much, because that would go against everything wei stadn f@or) and additional remarks of our own.

So, have at it, from pregame to postgame.

And yes, this is how lazy people blog. But seriously, it could also be considered blogging democracy (which is coming out waaaay sooner than Axl Rose's Chinese variation).

So, pregame starts.....NOW!


What is this, the Super Bowl, where pre-game coverage starts at the crack of dawn?

During one of the recent games, somebody hit a foul ball straight into the pressbox behind home plate. Blyleven said "I was hoping that would hit Sid Hartman." I cracked up; Dick ignored him (Dick's getting good at that). I heard nothing about it on the radio, in the blogosphere, or in the newspapers. I'm sure he said it, and I figured he'd get into some kind of trouble (even though it was hilarious). Did I imagine this? Anyone? Beuller?

Prediction: Slowey goes 7 strong but gets a no-decision because the Twins bats are silent until the late innings.

Jim H.
I meant to say "Slowey battles his tail off" for seven innings.
My commentary will be directed towards the A's fans around me tonight. I will be at the game wearin' the ol' Cuddyer jersey.
Oh I forgot it was Slowey! And I forgot it is a late game tonight... ah well.

We're playing good ball guys, and I'm liking it!!
Rick Anderson just said that Slowey pitches 'like a veteran'- in regards to his command and his control. My prediction is that sometime this season that mental control, as so mercurial in the unsure days of youth, snaps and he'll be goin for heads. Sort of like how 15-year old girls control their first boyfriends, who then leave or knock them up. Let's hope against a Slowey impregnation.

I blame the pessimism long week.
Kennedy has one of those wind-up styles that annoy me- wonder why he is 1-4. Or has his highest opposing team ERA against the Twins.

Lots o' GIDP like that?
Bottom 1st, they are discussing Dan Johnson's season, being on the DL early. Dan Johnson was also on the DL last year because he squirted suntan lotion in his eye. Only baseball players.
Damge control- end of the first.
Castillo's hitting .333? Lays down good sac bunt? Love love love.
Top 3rd, Twins score their first run on a single, a walk and two sacrifices. Dick reminds us that, even though we aren't playing the Bitch Sox, the Twins can still be pirantas. That nickname was really awesome for a while, but I must say I'm starting to get sick of it.
Ball 2 to Milton Bradley (which, I should add, is the funniest name ever) looked an awful lot like strike 3.
The third, finally over after 1,45547,54we,634 foul balls from Chavez. Who is delicious btw.
Bottom of the 3rd -- I got to ye olde compooter just in time to see Justin attempt to catch Chavez's foul ball (and yes indeed he is hot. Only one 't' though. Not hott like Santana), which he overran and ended up sliding and looking like a fool and seemed none to happy with Mike Redmond over it. Redmond tried so hard to redeem himself with the next pop up, but Little Nicky Punto came and stole his glory. A tiny superhero must do what he can...
Top 5th -- Bert just said that Jerry White is helping Bartlett with the signs. How does he do that with the 1st baseman right there? pig latin? it-hay and-hay un-ray!
Yes- definately not double-t like Santana. But my boyfriend (Bartlett) has made one hotttt catch at the bottom of the fifth. 2 down.
Bottom 5th -- (come back, guys! you are far more entertaining than my rambly comments, but it is too late to turn off the internal monologue). They keep showing Slowey's dad. CUTE! He approved of Bartlett's leaping catch. I think he thought it was hott.
Top 6th -- Naked Batting Practice can't straighten out his arm after getting hit on the elbow? Isn't that important for a catcher?
Slowey's dad looks like that one actor. Redheaded, really Irish looking. Maybe in some dramas?
Dick and Bert need to learn not to jinx our boys...
Ha, I love the Blyleven tag....had forgotten about the old bugger....

On the topic of Chinese Democracy, here's some insight:
Bottom 6th, what the fuck was that? LFE must be programmed to turn his back to home run balls before they actually land. Oh well, welcome to the Big Leagues, Slowey.

p.s. Thought I'd weigh in on the hotness of Chavez...far better looking when he's not hitting homers.

p.p.s. I've been trying to come up with a good nickname for Slowey, but haven't yet. Any suggestions?
Yep...jinxed the Twins into giving Kennedy his first strikeout in many many moons. Maybe that'll make Justin mad and he'll hit the ball many many moose antlers.
Has anyone seen the old movie "Blackbeard's Ghost?" Slowey looks like the character Gudger from that movie; we could call him Gudger.
Dear Dick Bremer,
Please don't talk about the bullpen being really good while Juan Rincon has a guy on 2nd with 1 out in a tie game. (in the bottom of the 7th)
Love, KT

Oh what's that? He got out of the inning? Oh I didn't know that.
bottom 7th: what is it with the A's and their hair? I know Swisher was growing his out for Locks of Love, but I doubt Travis Buck has as good of an excuse. Chavez's is bordering on ridiculous as well. Is it that ever since Barry Zito left, they rest of the team had go to greater lengths to look like hippies?
I think the team is showing solidarity and is making their hair ridiculous until Bobby Kielty comes back from the DL.
Zito used to help make the A's one of the most attractive teams in baseball (behind the Twins of course). Now...not so much.
I for one was very impressed with how Slowey handled it all. It's bottom of eighth if it matters, lol. But back to what I was saying... First inning said it all. Bases loaded with one out. No runs scored. Applause!!!! Many rookies might screw that up. And then after he gave up the solo shot, he got two quick outs.
Bravo Slowey!! :)

But uhh... Runs please? Oh wait... baby steps. Hits please?

Wait!! I know their trick!! They hypnotize our players with the foghorn and drum. Dang Oakland fans...
Yeah...A's were pretty attractive. Detroit, possibly the most unattractive. I almost dread going to their games at the Dome for fear of some of those guys' mugs on the jumbotron. *shudders*

In comes Neshek to finish off the eighth.
Oooh... I wish our team would make their hair ridiculous!
They opted the shaved head look instead...
And they play silly bouncy organ music when Death Metal comes out of the bullpen (in the bottom of the 8th with 2 out). It's just wrong...
maybe RK and WV should go away more often. I rather like discussions of how attractive the guys are in addition to how well they play. Like Death Metal (or Pat the Bunny as I like to call him)...gorgeous. The A's, however, have Huston Street, who is a wicked good closer and probably the hottest baseball player ever. This is what I call less stats, more sass!
Extra innings please?
Haha, RK and WV leave and the girls take over. Niice.
Hahaha, I'm sure they're thrilled :-)
Hottest player ever is strong verbiage (nounage? hyperbolage?) indeed. I'll see your Huston Street and raise you one Johan Santana.
Extras indeed, folks.
Speaking of hotness- Castillo's lead-off double in the top of the tenth- super sexy.
Agreed. Something about leadoff doubles that make you go "OMG!! I LOVE YOU CASTILLO!!!!"
Poor Bert. Will someone please steal him a base?
Cirillo hitting both RBIs in the game, including on in extra innings = I am dripping of post-orgasm bliss.
For the first time, here's a shout out of hottness to Cirillo! Woohoo!
top 10th: who needs a sacrifice!?! I really thought Crosby had that one like he got the one in the 9th, but thankfully this one got past him. Nice effort, but the Twins go up.
also, there's no denying Johan, but have you seen the pants Huston wears? that's all I have to say about that.
top 10th: Dick and Bert seem to think Tyner is amused by all good jumps Cuddles is spoiling by fouling off pitches. If I were Tyner, I'd be pissed. And all that for a walk.
And Redmond continues to earn his keep.
Huston is an awful name. He looks okay in his wikipedia photo, can't see the ass though :(

A's make a double play to end the half inning.
This one's for Batgirl...

Get Buck some frizz-ease! Dear god!
This is where the "Let's go, Nathan!" chant I used in Milwaukee comes in nicely.
I heart the Redmond!!!
He's my fave. :)

And I just have to say, our announcers ROCK. That is all.
Nothing more satisfying in the world than pissing off some cheeseheads. Except an orgasm from Johan Santana, of course!

Vicodin's so great.

2 to go.
Twitchy McXanax- stop your teases!
hehehe, if we can't steal a base for our dear announcers, can the A's GIDP for them (in the bottom of the 10th)?
Milton Bradley TOOK THAT AWAY

Chavez vs. Nathan
Bottom 10th: Shit, Dan Johnson. I was willing him to GIDP, but he would not listen. So much for the Nebraska kinship. Can we please just get this over with?
3-2 final- after a nearly Nathan-induced heart attack. Nice prediction jim. Slowey possibly could become a Radke.
I love it when Bremer says, "Got him!" It's said with just as much enthusiasm but not as much in-your-face-ness as stupid White Sox announcers. Whew! GO TWINS!
postgame: extra innings are supposed to be nerve-wracking, yes? This was a good win, and I'm happy for the team. Tomorrow's game should be a lesson in mediocrity with Silva and Blanton on the mound.
Attendance was said to be around 20,000. I'd say maybe 15,000 were around to watch the extra innings, and maybe 10,000 to catch the A's bat in the bottom of the 10th.

Despite being completely adorned in Twins gear (Cuddy jersey + hat), I only received a smattering of boos (most of them reserved for me when I boarded my BART train).
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