Sunday, June 17, 2007

 

Slowey Gin Fizz

PREGAME

Minneapolis, MN and Slowey gin fizz, if that aint love then tell me what is.

1ST INNING

We haven't been swept by the Brewers since 1988, but don't tell that to Kevy because he's pitching like he's in Rochester.

---

Hell, don't tell that to the Twins hitters either, who are batting in runs like they're.....professional baseball players.

2ND INNING

What is it about Justincredible that makes you want to stomp on his foot when you get thrown out at first? I know--he's wearing Axe body spray.

Scalooze: Gin does have a tendency to taste like pine needles, but sloe gin is indeed scrumptuous.

If Gardy starts threatening the Pear King by saying he's not a team player, will he magically hit .300 again?

Apparently Sinn Fein is ok, so I am too.

Thank Goodness we're losing the DH for the next round of interleague games. I just don't know what I would do without Tyner in the line-up. I think the pitchers would be an improvement anyways.

Castillo grounds into inning-ending double play, and like walking without a limp, I'm sure that's a rarity for him.

3RD INNING

I'm not buying into the Prince Fielder has lots of potential theory. The only thing he has potential for is growth; I mean, Hrbeck was skinny his first couple years in the league, then he filled out later. When Prince fills out they'll need to cart him around on a forklift.

Like Bert, I'd love to compare Slowey and Baker's pitching approach when they're in trouble; but I've never really seen Baker not in trouble so it's hard to find a control for the experiment.

Kevin Slowey---more efficient than the Japanese economy.

------

Happy Father's Day to everyone--don't forget to call your Pops.

Mauer is such a great catcher that he even catches the ball when he's hitting. What can't this guy do?

Back to back singles! Joe---if I ever make a McGyver movie adaptation, Richard Dean Anderson is out of a job.

The Toyota Trivia question, on which Father/Son duo has the most home runs, has to be the Griffeys right? I'm not sure, Bert, the Fielders are it....with Prince being in his 2nd year and all.

Being back in the Metrodome, Suppan is confusedly pitching like he's still with the Royals. I'm fine with it.

After nearly being decapitated by the MVP's scalding line drive double that scored Mauer, Corey Hart will need to be tested for post-traumatic stress syndrome after the game.

LFE: Fully charged on Sundays.

BOTTOM 5TH INNING

THE LFE DRIVES IN MORNEAU AND MAUER---DEJA VU AT ITS BEST. Like the 6 Million Dollar Man, Lew Ford the clumsy weak hitter can be resuscitated as the Lew Ford Experiment to drive in 4 runs, doubling his season total.

PAB Readers: I congratulate each and everyone one of you here for spurning your fathers to spend the afternoon with us.

At this point, the Twins are like a devlish cat jabbing its claw at an injured bird before eventually doing away with it. The Brewers have seen 4 Lew Ford RBIs, a Jason Tyner suicide squeeze and then a Jason Tyner steal, amongst other things. And now Jeff Cirillo drove Tyner in---this is what we could call begging to be back in Little League with its Mercy Rule.

This is God's way of punishing Suppan for turning one good World Series performance into a nice contract, despite his overwhelming mediocrity the rest of his career.

TOP 6TH INNING

While the 2 run shot by Graffanino wasn't ideal, I appreciate Gardy letting Slowey try to work through the inning. Hopefully Guerrireat! can get him out of hot water.

For those of you into the minors..that is, the minor leagues, Rochester is currently batting around Everyday Eddie to the tune of 2 earned runs, 3 hits and a walk in .1 inning of work. Presumably, Guardado is making an injury rehab assignment. Also, Alexi Sandcastle Casilla has gone 4 for 5 to up his average to .291.

And as usual, Matty enters the game and is Guerriereat!

BOTTOM 6TH INNING

Seeing the 6 for 5 Game Pack promotion, I'm trying to remember my own 'special' memories attending Twins games as a kid, and my memory is showing me lots of Ron Kittle homeruns.

I'm a little concerned about the full-body twist this ump does on every called 3rd strike, like he's going to get a herniated disk or something.

"Tempting fate by walking Morneau to get to Lew Ford"? Dick? Don't be such a homer.

And the LFE fails to deliver. Dick, consider fate tempted.

7TH INNING

Matt Guerrier and relief pitching go together like My Chemical Romance and mascara.

8TH INNING

4 run lead...it's still good, it's still good.

A 2 run lead...it's sort of good, it's sort of good.

Sigh. You know, Corey Hart could tour with the Allman Brothers in the offseason if he wanted to.

Not coincidentally, Rincon and Guardado had similar outings today. Juan Rincon for a random Cincinnatti Red anyone?

Rincon is just upset that his newborn only gave him spit-up and a ridiculously early wake-up call for Father's Day.

Similar to a hangover, Rincon just needed to vomit out a few runs to calm his system down. Joe Nathan, if he's a stat eagle, pats himself on the back for the sudden save opportunity.

9TH INNING

Pray for mo-Joe.

Prince Fielder will never, ever have an inside the park homerun again. In fact, this is like if an earthquake leveled Fargo.

The Lew Ford Experiment is definitely not programmed to distinguish baseball from teflon.

Lew's eyes are simply shot from staring at a computer screen playing Counterstrike all night during his injury rehab. Anyone else miss Torii Hunter?

Is this really happening? There are so many ominous signs around I feel like I'm in a Tim Burton film, not the least of which is Jenkins' 3 for 6 career mark against Nathan.

Ok, Twitch, that first strikeout is a step in the right direction. A couple of more now....

Lew Ford's shaky throw to home is another piece of foreshadowing of what life would be like without Torii. In any case, bottom of the 9th, here we come.

BOTTOM 9TH

WHAMMY!

POSTGAME

Tough road trip coming up, always nice to leave home with a win, especially when it puts you above .500. Besides, letting the Brewers steal this one would've felt like your best friend sleeping with your girlfriend. A part of you is like, "well, it wasn't a total stranger", but then another, much more prominent part of you says "Anger Salad".

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Comments:
This game should be a good test for Slowey- the umpire is being a stickler about the strike zone.

Gin is gross, by the way.
 
That's how I like it 5 run lead now it's time to relax pour a gin and tonic and perhaps take a nap. Lew Ford brought his vorpal bat +5 to the ballpark today.
 
I think the rest of the PAB crowd is with their fathers, quite quiet around here. Makes me sad, I had a father once. And then he went crazy and we stopped talking.
 
I'm here. :P
And I'm liking this game so far. :)
 
I'm here too, just splitting time between the Twins and the CWS. But yes, Father's Day. I get that it's baseball and not softball, so obviously there's the father/son dynamic, but can't we get a shout out to the father/daughter relationship too? I know I can't be the only female baseball fan whose daddy taught her how to love and play the game. Okay, I'm done now.
 
Blast! Here I was thinking that Corey Hart would not have any of his magic because it is not a night game and the Twins play in the 'Dome, so he cannot wear his sunglasses... at night or during the day. Guess I was wrong...
 
you think Nathan told Rincon to give up those runs? He was complaining the other day about not getting enough save opportunities...
 
Great minds think alike, Stacy.
 
I hate this.
 
I bet that LFE feels like crap now. Who messed up the programme?
 
By the way where does the Lew Ford Experiment name originate?
 
Phew. Way to go, good Doctor.
 
Morney Mchappy long fly for prostate cancer research happiness praise jesus.
 
I enjoyed this game thoroughly. Except for the top of the ninth inning. That was scary and nerve-racking. And I NEVER want to see another inside-the-park homerun hit against the Twins EVER again. They're DISGUSTING to watch. But Morneau saved the day once again!
 
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