Tuesday, April 15, 2008

 

Don Sutton, I'm Coming For You!

PREGAME

I (RK) would like to take this very special opportunity to tell you about my weekend adventure: The Search for Don Sutton.



"I spy, with my little eye..."


So I went to the Nationals game last Saturday. But there was a rain delay:



"My love handles and I are sad!"


I was getting antsy:



"I can see FOREVER"


Then we heard HOF pitcher Don Sutton was a sportscaster for the Nats now after the Braves, and seeing as how we were like right next to the press box, we'd keep an eye out for him and if anybody else came out we'd yell and ask if we could meet Don Sutton:



Loyal reader TL and RK on the lookout for Senor Sutton


Nope, he's not over there - ZOMGWTFBBQ!!!!1!! there he is!



"It appears as though I have eaten my lips! This will make eating dippin' dots much more difficult!"


But he wasn't there either. And then the game started so we gave up. We did, however, find the coolest hot dog stand ever:



"Excuse me, we're looking for Senator Larry Craig"


We have no taste at all.

Let's hope that bullpen meltdown is out of their system for the rest of the season, right?Eeesh.

TOP 1ST

Speedy Go[m]ez hit a ball that was not a bunt single - could this be a new day? Probably not, but I'll take it.

Mosaic is being a little crotchety again; but I realize that if I don't click the OK box, then I can continue to watch the game. mlb.com, get your shit together.

I feel like I should expect more from our offense, but I can't quite bring myself to do so. I suppose 1 run isn't so bad in this situation here, right?

BOTTOM 1ST

Ha ha! Baker's half-dozen, I get it! Wait... how can one throw 6.5 innings? Oh, I see. It's Baker's 6 innings - if he goes beyond 6 he usually wins. Well yeah. Anyway, it's either funny and doesn't make sense or makes sense and isn't funny. And I just realized most of you aren't watching the same game I am.

Rick Anderson/Paul Newman is indeed one hell of a pitching coach.

All you can do is tip your hat to that. That pitch was at his ankles. Good work Mr. Cream.

TOP 2ND

Hm, what, did something happen?

BOTTOM 2ND, TIED AT 1

For as much crap as I've given Rocket Bats after he declared himself the ace of the team, he's not doing too bad. Getting around a leadoff walk and the ending DP? I'll take that.

Kayla, I felt the exact same thing. I was finishing up the paragraph in the book I'm reading and then I did and it was another inning break.

Horseradish mustard in chicken is exceptionally good.

TOP 3RD, SAME

Toblerone! Buddy, dude! Good work, son!

Global Warming comes through in a pinch again! Slump my ass! "Ooooh, Mauer's in a slump, he can't hit the ball anywhere he wants! Where's his power? Why isn't he at first base?" Psh

BOTTOM 3RD, TWINS 2 TIGERS 1

This is awesome! I have to refresh the game like every 5 minutes, so I get to do some guesswork - turns out Baker has Pudge 2-2. Whoops, there it goes again - let's see what happens!

Oh, it's 3-2. The suspense, it is killing me.

Lead-off walk. That's two walks now. Someone's gonna have to sleep with wet shoes on tonight.

I miss Bert. I miss Bert

Back to the contingency of language for a few minutes!

TOP 4TH, SAME

WV: Look at Mike Lamb and his deft glovework. Hey, whatever gets it done. Keep the eyebrows.

RK: This calls for an embedded video about Morneau making Circles in the Sand


RK: Well son of a...

WV: OK bullpen..now....let's not go all Viet Cong on us now

RK: Which, no matter what Rustad says, WAS a Communist organization

TOP 7TH, 4-2

RK: I suppose that I should divulge to our dear readers that I have a near encyclopedic knowledge of pop music from 1982-present. It's what I do instead of actually learning useful things

WV: And don't EVEN get RK started on the Aquabats.

RK: Loyal reader TL and I do an impressive a capella version of Darude's Sandstorm

WV: Wow, I'm just....speechless.

RK: I bet at this point Leyland just rolls up a whole tobacco leaf, puts it in his mouth and lights it on fire

BOTTOM 7TH

WV: I don't know that Baker can hold on for one more inning.

RK: But things'll go his way

RK: I must have missed a homer

RK: Jeezy creezy, mlb.tv

WV: It...looks like Baker is recovering.

RK: But Sars is available tonight, so hopefully he could hold

8TH, 4-3

WV: If they do come back and win this, at least it will have only been by 3 runs.

WV: And only 1 time.

RK: Precisely

RK: Throwing Error by the Crainadian, Barf

WV: In Canada, the ball throws you!

RK: What is going on with our bullpen?

WV: Jesus, I don't know.

WV: I'd expect the 5th or 6th highest paid team in baseball to execute like this, so I'm not surprised.

RK: True, but this is uncharacteristic

RK: I give up

WV: What is this the 14th home run of the night? Let's pull a Thomas Mann and revel in our decadence.

RK: I'm going to retreat to my Rortyan liberal irony

9TH INNING AND POSTGAME

WV: It's almost like, "even if they get this back, the bullpen will just blow it"

RK: Yeah, I'm not optimistic

Comments:
nice pictures. they made me laugh.

i'm also pretty sure that there was absolutely no top of the second. like. i looked at the tv and saw the bottom of the first, and then i looked and saw the bottom of the second. seriously now.
 
mmmmm live blogs taste like chicken.
 
One more thing, Im going to sneak into Mike Lambs house tonight, and wax his eyebrows as he sleeps.

Done deal, if he's going to be our 3rd basemen and I have to see him every day the least he can do is stop looking like a mongolian war lord.
 
Does Munkhbataar have voice activated sync?

And ohh ohh ohh *raises hand* I've had frog lets when I was a wee little gal.

I wish my last name was Van Slyke.
It rhymes with Dyke.
Jealoussss
 
This comment has been removed by the author.
 
aw geez. is that scott baker's anthem now? scary.
 
I'm showing Dead Man Walking to the class I'm teaching right now, and just as they are going into detail about the murder of two people, I bust out in a smile about the Senator Sausages...hilariously inappropriate!
 
You know, I'm not so sure Baker ISN'T the ace of the staff, all apologies to Bon Jovi.
 
RK: Jeezy creezy, mlb.tv

why'd that make me laugh so loud my mother yelled at me?
 
SO guys.
justin morneau= anger salad?

yeah?
 
BULLPEN=SUCK
 
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