Friday, April 04, 2008
Pray For Mojo
PREGAME
Here's the thing:
1. Congratulations to the J (of SJ fame) family, on their recent addition. See what happens when you come here a lot? We take a personal interest. It also helps that we had lockers next to each other and SJ gave me coke and Oreos like whoa. Anyway, Mazel Tov to you and yours, SJ
2. It's a weekend, so you're not here reading anyway, right? If you are, I have a question to ask you about Schopenhauer's cat
3. We're gonna half-ass posts as long as the team decides to half-ass-bat (what?). I'm heading out at some point anyway to boogie. We're bringing that word back, people. Boogie boogie boogie.
TOP 1ST
RK: Good to see Rocket Bats still looks like the love child of Peter Pan and Legolas
WV: I'm just happy that one of our cool nicknames is still on the team
RK: Grudzielanek would be a hard name to anagram
WV: I really feel like I've lost track of how many Guillens there are in the league
RK: According to Joe Morgan they're all either Guillen or Rodriguez. And that the Twins play in Montreal
WV: Break out the Kansas City Royals y'all
RK: Ooof, rookie mistake by Tolbert
RK: Remember 2003 when the Royals started something like 13-0? I'm just drawing attention away from the fact that Baker has thrown 30 pitches
WV: Brian Bass, this year's Eyre'n Go Bragh!, will be getting lose shortly. I mean loose
RK: Well, six of one...
WV: I wonder if Billy is the cokeheard of the Butlers like Billy Baldwin is
RK: How many Butlers are there? All I know is Judith, and I doubt there's a relation
WV: Dear Toblerone, that second run is all on you. All of it. Gender Trouble...shiver
BOTTOM 1ST KNIGHTS OF COLUMBUS 2 NATURE'S CLONES 0
RK: Turnabout is fair play, I suppose. I'm just glad we have a CF who doesn't hit homeruns or much of anything
WV: If Gomez doesn't work out we've got like 8 more who do the same thing in the minors.
RK: But a run's a run
WV: I think it's time for Justin to move back in with Joe
RK: Not only would it fulfill the fantasies of the Twins gay community, but when they did, Justin was good
WV: Oh you so went there
TOP 2ND KC 2 TC 1
WV: The good news, we won't have to update praise 'em/bury 'em for the forseeable future
RK: Word to hair mousse
WV: If we're going to be a below average team it's a shame we at least don't have an entertaining train wreck of a manager like Ozzie Guillen
RK: My former boy came through for the Bitch Sox today
WV: I saw that. In other news, Rocket Bats is laboring.
RK: Yeah, that's news like a verbal gaffe from a poiltician
WV: The motto of this season ought to be differánce, as our marked suckiness is accentuated by a contrast with the last few years and the potential for improvement will always be deferred and out of reach.
RK: It's like the promise of progress in the Dialectic of Enlightenment
WV: We could rework the theory, being the Enemies of Promise and all.
RK: And incorporate the parallax view of the minimal difference between reality and the ghosts of a future lost
WV: Forging ahead with Adorno, you could really conceptualize the difference between magical and scientific culture as the same difference of opinion between ancient scribes and vorpies.
Just saying.
RK: Yeah, if you had some extra time on a Sunday morning
WV: The ghosts of a future lost. I like it.
RK: It's not mine; it's the name of a Clint Mansell/Kronos Quartet track on the Requiem for a Dream soundtrack
WV: I thought the culture industry was supposed to lull us into a passive and blase attitude. This particular kind of culture the Twins are offering up is getting me bloody heart a pumpin'.
RK: But keep in mind the divisions of the fields of production. The culture of capitalizing on potential is doing exactly what it's supposed to do
WV: Right as you said that Gordo went off on Gardy making the team do fundamentals before every game. Zeitgeist!!
RK: Finger on the pulse
BOTTOM 2ND, BOOK ROYALTIES 3 HEY AT LEAST THEY'RE NOT THE TIMBERWOLVES 1
RK: Well, it can't hurt any more than the game: Telly it like it is
TOP 3RD, SAME
WV: Gardy's Ace Hardware spot has really lost a beat without him barking at Carol.
RK: He needs to jingle some handcuffs or something
WV: Shopping for brooms to pun on the verb "to sweep"? Prosaic.
RK: Pedestrian
WV: The safety phrase is "tails off"
RK: Not that we would know anything about that
WV: I wasn't aware how miserable Telly's blog really was.
RK: It's execrable. But we're helping out. If you google "Telly Hughes" blog, we're the third link
WV: Minnesota Twins Rebuilding!! Rocketbats is true to form!! Nobody reads my blog!!!
RK: Not on Friday anyway. Bert just called Dick "daddy." Add it to the list of why we do this
BOTTOM 3RD, SAME
RK: The 2007 Twins are like the 2001 Twins, except without all that pesky initial success to worry about
WV: Gotta keep down the hypertension.
WV: Well, since the Twins are totally unremarkable, I'll relay to you a story. I'm in a class on autobiography, and they ask if anyone has a blog. I say yes, and then the secret is out amongst my colleagues of the existence of PAB. We own up to our online personas right? Do we have "personas"? This is pretty much how we really are, if anybody has ever wondered
RK: Yeah, if people have versions of us in their heads that are different than this, i.e. redeemable - sorry to disappoint
WV: Before I get excited about these back to back hits, I'm going to wait and see if Justine has turned back into Justin.
RK: HAAAAAAIL THE SUNSHINE - Ah hell, Dimples is injured
WV: BASEBALL! Dislocated finger, Dazzle is sayin'.
RK: But Kubel is in and scores. Kayla, why is Telly scary? He looks like a be-chin strapped cuddlebear to me
WV: Not to, uh, Gload.
RK: Wow
TOP 4TH ALL TIED UP, DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, NEXT THING YOU TURN AROUND AND FIND THE PERSON IS YOU
RK: Do you suppose there are Kubel jerseys available for purchase?
WV: I would imagine so. In other news, Rocket Bats' pitch count is approaching the number of bacteria that can fit on a pencil's eraser
RK: But question for you and our readers: how many angels can fit on the head of a pin?
BOTTOM 4TH: KNOTTED
WV: For further entertainment, you don't even have to search for "telly hughes blog". Shit, we're the 6th entry just by typing "telly hughes"
RK: I guarantee you Neshek calls Mike Lamb "Lamb of God"
WV: I wish he would get the hell with it and grow some sideburns so we could call him Lamb Chops
RK: Dangerous though: not too long till we start calling him Shari Lewis. Kayla, I think you should give Telly a chance. He used to live in Georgia, and Georgians are nice
WV: I rather miss Bert. Any gems this evening?
RK: He called Dick his daddy
WV: Nice
RK: Bert just said, "you have a speedy Gomez at first..." be still my heart. I so badly want to believe he reads this
WV: If I were as fast as Gomez, I'd dress up in a sombrero, white suit, red ascot and give my cousin Slowpoke shit for being drunk all the time.
TOP 5TH: LOS ROYALES DE CIUDAD KANSAS 3 WIN TWINS! 4
RK: Exactly, dburg! That's the exact right answer!
WV:
Here's the thing:
1. Congratulations to the J (of SJ fame) family, on their recent addition. See what happens when you come here a lot? We take a personal interest. It also helps that we had lockers next to each other and SJ gave me coke and Oreos like whoa. Anyway, Mazel Tov to you and yours, SJ
2. It's a weekend, so you're not here reading anyway, right? If you are, I have a question to ask you about Schopenhauer's cat
3. We're gonna half-ass posts as long as the team decides to half-ass-bat (what?). I'm heading out at some point anyway to boogie. We're bringing that word back, people. Boogie boogie boogie.
TOP 1ST
RK: Good to see Rocket Bats still looks like the love child of Peter Pan and Legolas
WV: I'm just happy that one of our cool nicknames is still on the team
RK: Grudzielanek would be a hard name to anagram
WV: I really feel like I've lost track of how many Guillens there are in the league
RK: According to Joe Morgan they're all either Guillen or Rodriguez. And that the Twins play in Montreal
WV: Break out the Kansas City Royals y'all
RK: Ooof, rookie mistake by Tolbert
RK: Remember 2003 when the Royals started something like 13-0? I'm just drawing attention away from the fact that Baker has thrown 30 pitches
WV: Brian Bass, this year's Eyre'n Go Bragh!, will be getting lose shortly. I mean loose
RK: Well, six of one...
WV: I wonder if Billy is the cokeheard of the Butlers like Billy Baldwin is
RK: How many Butlers are there? All I know is Judith, and I doubt there's a relation
WV: Dear Toblerone, that second run is all on you. All of it. Gender Trouble...shiver
BOTTOM 1ST KNIGHTS OF COLUMBUS 2 NATURE'S CLONES 0
RK: Turnabout is fair play, I suppose. I'm just glad we have a CF who doesn't hit homeruns or much of anything
WV: If Gomez doesn't work out we've got like 8 more who do the same thing in the minors.
RK: But a run's a run
WV: I think it's time for Justin to move back in with Joe
RK: Not only would it fulfill the fantasies of the Twins gay community, but when they did, Justin was good
WV: Oh you so went there
TOP 2ND KC 2 TC 1
WV: The good news, we won't have to update praise 'em/bury 'em for the forseeable future
RK: Word to hair mousse
WV: If we're going to be a below average team it's a shame we at least don't have an entertaining train wreck of a manager like Ozzie Guillen
RK: My former boy came through for the Bitch Sox today
WV: I saw that. In other news, Rocket Bats is laboring.
RK: Yeah, that's news like a verbal gaffe from a poiltician
WV: The motto of this season ought to be differánce, as our marked suckiness is accentuated by a contrast with the last few years and the potential for improvement will always be deferred and out of reach.
RK: It's like the promise of progress in the Dialectic of Enlightenment
WV: We could rework the theory, being the Enemies of Promise and all.
RK: And incorporate the parallax view of the minimal difference between reality and the ghosts of a future lost
WV: Forging ahead with Adorno, you could really conceptualize the difference between magical and scientific culture as the same difference of opinion between ancient scribes and vorpies.
Just saying.
RK: Yeah, if you had some extra time on a Sunday morning
WV: The ghosts of a future lost. I like it.
RK: It's not mine; it's the name of a Clint Mansell/Kronos Quartet track on the Requiem for a Dream soundtrack
WV: I thought the culture industry was supposed to lull us into a passive and blase attitude. This particular kind of culture the Twins are offering up is getting me bloody heart a pumpin'.
RK: But keep in mind the divisions of the fields of production. The culture of capitalizing on potential is doing exactly what it's supposed to do
WV: Right as you said that Gordo went off on Gardy making the team do fundamentals before every game. Zeitgeist!!
RK: Finger on the pulse
BOTTOM 2ND, BOOK ROYALTIES 3 HEY AT LEAST THEY'RE NOT THE TIMBERWOLVES 1
RK: Well, it can't hurt any more than the game: Telly it like it is
TOP 3RD, SAME
WV: Gardy's Ace Hardware spot has really lost a beat without him barking at Carol.
RK: He needs to jingle some handcuffs or something
WV: Shopping for brooms to pun on the verb "to sweep"? Prosaic.
RK: Pedestrian
WV: The safety phrase is "tails off"
RK: Not that we would know anything about that
WV: I wasn't aware how miserable Telly's blog really was.
RK: It's execrable. But we're helping out. If you google "Telly Hughes" blog, we're the third link
WV: Minnesota Twins Rebuilding!! Rocketbats is true to form!! Nobody reads my blog!!!
RK: Not on Friday anyway. Bert just called Dick "daddy." Add it to the list of why we do this
BOTTOM 3RD, SAME
RK: The 2007 Twins are like the 2001 Twins, except without all that pesky initial success to worry about
WV: Gotta keep down the hypertension.
WV: Well, since the Twins are totally unremarkable, I'll relay to you a story. I'm in a class on autobiography, and they ask if anyone has a blog. I say yes, and then the secret is out amongst my colleagues of the existence of PAB. We own up to our online personas right? Do we have "personas"? This is pretty much how we really are, if anybody has ever wondered
RK: Yeah, if people have versions of us in their heads that are different than this, i.e. redeemable - sorry to disappoint
WV: Before I get excited about these back to back hits, I'm going to wait and see if Justine has turned back into Justin.
RK: HAAAAAAIL THE SUNSHINE - Ah hell, Dimples is injured
WV: BASEBALL! Dislocated finger, Dazzle is sayin'.
RK: But Kubel is in and scores. Kayla, why is Telly scary? He looks like a be-chin strapped cuddlebear to me
WV: Not to, uh, Gload.
RK: Wow
TOP 4TH ALL TIED UP, DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, NEXT THING YOU TURN AROUND AND FIND THE PERSON IS YOU
RK: Do you suppose there are Kubel jerseys available for purchase?
WV: I would imagine so. In other news, Rocket Bats' pitch count is approaching the number of bacteria that can fit on a pencil's eraser
RK: But question for you and our readers: how many angels can fit on the head of a pin?
BOTTOM 4TH: KNOTTED
WV: For further entertainment, you don't even have to search for "telly hughes blog". Shit, we're the 6th entry just by typing "telly hughes"
RK: I guarantee you Neshek calls Mike Lamb "Lamb of God"
WV: I wish he would get the hell with it and grow some sideburns so we could call him Lamb Chops
RK: Dangerous though: not too long till we start calling him Shari Lewis. Kayla, I think you should give Telly a chance. He used to live in Georgia, and Georgians are nice
WV: I rather miss Bert. Any gems this evening?
RK: He called Dick his daddy
WV: Nice
RK: Bert just said, "you have a speedy Gomez at first..." be still my heart. I so badly want to believe he reads this
WV: If I were as fast as Gomez, I'd dress up in a sombrero, white suit, red ascot and give my cousin Slowpoke shit for being drunk all the time.
TOP 5TH: LOS ROYALES DE CIUDAD KANSAS 3 WIN TWINS! 4
RK: Exactly, dburg! That's the exact right answer!
WV:
# posted by RK @ 8:01 PM 
Comments:
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that just might be exactly why he scares me.
i am pissed michael got hurt. hallejuah for dish! rewinding is fun.
i am pissed michael got hurt. hallejuah for dish! rewinding is fun.
The same number of unicorns that can make love to gryphons inside of the Loch Ness Monster?
(I'm not a very religious person)
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(I'm not a very religious person)
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