Wednesday, April 16, 2008


Soldiering On


As many of you know, I (RK) am a graduate student at Virginia Tech. At the anniversary of those shootings that rocked our world, I have only to note this: I refuse to have my life interrupted by the media recreating the spectacle. Most people's experience with the shooting was seeing the media trucks everywhere and things being blocked off by police tape. That's been recreated and I don't think it's good for any of us. If any Hokies read this, live for 32.

But there's an increased police force, which is exactly the kind of stupid irrational thing that we don't need. Blacksburg is a safe town, we don't need guards at the doors of now infamous Norris Hall.

Finally, you may have heard snippets of Giovanni's poem, but I doubt you've seen the whole thing. Here it is, reprinted:

We are Virginia Tech. We are sad today and we will be sad for quite awhile. We are not moving on, we are embracing our mourning. We are Virginia Tech. We are strong enough to know when to cry and sad enough to know we must laugh again. We are Virginia Tech. We do not understand this tragedy. We know we did not deserve it but neither does a child in Africa dying of AIDS, but neither do the invisible children walking the night to avoid being captured by a rogue army. Neither does the baby elephant watching his community be devastated for ivory; neither does the Appalachian infant in the killed in the middle of the night in his crib in the home his father built with his own hands being run over by a boulder because the land was destabilized. No one deserves a tragedy. We are Virginia Tech. The Hokie Nation embraces our own with open heart and hands to those who offer their hearts and minds. We are strong and brave and innocent and unafraid. We are better than we think, not quite what we want to be. We are alive to the imagination and the possibility we will continue to invent the future through our blood and tears, through all this sadness. We are the Hokies. We will prevail, we will prevail. We are Virginia Tech.

Now play ball.


Bon Jovi is pitching well, but I'm still haunted by the specter of Ray-moan.

I'm just so happy to hear Bert's voice again.

See, you might be thinking, he's gonna say something about Evan Longoria being a desperate hitter, or Mr. Tony Parker, but I'm not gonna do it because that's just too easy.

SJ, I look forward to the battling of the boyfriends... er, well not quite, but you get my drift. Much love to you too.


An impression of me from 15 seconds ago:

"Hooray Den- awwww."

Verbatim, son.


Oh snap! Telly is in the Metrodome Telly It Like It Is!

I have to remind myself to blog. I just get so lost in Bert's voice, it's like a... really soothing... thing.

Heehee, Joowan has a goatee - that has to be a fake, right? Like, his dad was shaving and he was all, "me too, dad!" and his dad mussed his hair up and said ok and then when he wasn't looking he glued the facial hair to his own face.

That story took a turn for the creepy there.

Stop walking people, Bon Jovi. I'd make a reference to a song, but remember Arrested Development? Remember how awesome that show was? And how they only made the "singer-songwriter" joke once about the son, George Michael? I feel that way about Bon Jovi.

Joseph Q. Mauer probably has stock in the Howitzer company, because he's got a cannon.

Bon Jovi has thrown 130 pitches, so that's awesome.

Stacey, in order:

1. what the hell is up with these 2 game series? what sense does that make?

Oh you know kids these days, their 2-second MTV attention deficit disorder whippersnappers. In my day, we had 19 game series played over the course of 3 days and we LIKED IT.

2. why drop the "devil" from devil rays? do they think this makes them better?

To make them family friendly, right? I mean, nobody likes to think of Devil. But maybe it's an even more complete overhaul. Instead of Devil or Sting Rays, which brings to mind memories of Steve Irwin - real baseball buzzkill there, Rays makes people think of sunshine rays, and then they're happy. Either way, the logo is hideous, no?


RK: Morneau looks kinda confused, like "How in the hell did that not get out... eh?" He's Canadian, you see.

WV: Dlmon, trying too hard. Somebody free Jason Kubel from sucking so much.

RK: This will be a breakout year for the Rubik's Kubel. You heard it hear first, and if you can find a time I've ever said something factually inaccurate, then you should stop nosing around.

WV: Well, that was underwhelming.

RK: Seriously, that was like eating uncured ham cooked in lukewarm water.


WV: Both cases do produce symptoms consistent with salmonella poisoning.

RK: Oh Mike Lamb... what are we gonna do with your name? Suggestions anyone?

WV: I thought Carl Crawford was merely fast.

RK: I suppose that's gonna happen sometimes.

WV: If Rocket Bats or the Crainadian are pitching, it'll happen every 10 seconds.

RK: This is your mental exercise for getting ready for a long summer, isn't it?

WV: And how.


RK: Stacey, that is a crazy weird ballpark. Holy cow. The underwhelmedness continues

WV: And that's not going out on a Lamb

RK: You bastard.

WV: This Lamb guy is resisting a good nickname simply by being completely unremarkable. And the etymology of "lamb" is totally boring.

RK: You can only anagram it to "balm" which is stupid

WV: Well, you can get "bleak" out of the name, which is totally appropriate except for the lack of a suitable combination stemming from "Mim"


WV: You're missing Scott Erickson in the booth, it wouldn't shock me if he was still pitching for the Rays.

RK: Remember when the D-Rays were the team to go to when you had just a few more stats to get into the HOF?

WV: Right, the Fred McGriff/Wade Boggs routine. You know, I hear Bert needs a few more wins....

RK: He could probably get his 13

WV: That irregular blob you see on the horizon is Bon Jovi floating back to reality.

RK: He'll be on the phone with Raymoan tonight.

WV: I wasn't aware that other teams were alowed to hit into inning ending double plays as well.


RK: laurel, that is freaky, visitors getting activated. Another heralding of the apocalypse. Speaking of, how apropos, t-1000 is next, and yes, you're right. I'm on board with you that Kubel can hit the damn ball.

WV: The only other thing sinking better than Shields' pitches are my hopes that we'll be competitive this year.

RK: You have your grumpy pants on today, huh?

WV: IF you wanna know the real deal about the 3....

RK: My faith in Kubel Khan does not go unrewarded. Beatsie Boys lyrics drops are my favorite

WV: Ok, I'll replace my grumpy pants with my somewhat resigned and fighting not to crack a smile pants.

RK: At least you're wearing pants


WV: I think the new Rays park needs to activate visitors because the only other signs of life in the greater Tampa area, besides octogenarian retirees, are the robotic androids that bring them their medications.

RK: I want a French robot. It would say, "Je suis robot!" Give it away give it away give it away now

WV: Lucky us Carl Crawford is simmin in his ahhh-bilitay! At least somebody knows where to throw the ball

RK: That was beautiful.


RK: t-1000, word. laurel, you're absolutely correct, and you saying sock puppet makes me want to say hot pocket. What're you gonna pick? Hot pockets!

WV: Gomez could've crawled to 1st on that bunt.

RK: He has power to all fields; infield and sometimes outfield. See, Riggins knew better than to even try

WV: Can you do a suicide squeeze when the runner is on 2nd?

RK: With this guy you can

WV: MAUER PAUER... Hey, singles count for power these days.

RK: Sideburns to the XTREME

WV: Shields might get a bat thrown at him if he's not careful.

RK: Now Dlmon just shoots people smiles

WV: Oh Pear King... oh yeah!

RK: I have... conflicted feelings... must be reactivated!

RK: Are we officially done with the Kubel hating yet?

WV: I'm through with it.


RK: laurel, I found myself wondering why Jefferson from Married with Children was in the booth. Telly has dropped the chin strap. Probably a good call

WV: Remember that summer when you talked me into growing one? That turned out bad.

RK: You really should know better than to listen to me by now - Oh for the love of Telly

WV: Frog puppet! I'd like to see Scott Erickson pull a blyleven.

RK: Blogging while eating a popsicle is hard!

WV: Your yearning for Rincon might be sated in the near future.

RK: This popsicle is sating me now

WV: Well then.

RK: How 'bout that error


WV: If any positive thoughts are needed, Cici gave up 9ER tonight for the Team with the racially insensitive nickname that plays on the shores of Lake Erie.


RK: Stacey, good call. I dig Kid Koala, but I haven't heard that group.

RK: Mexican Independence Day is looking alright though.


WV is off to foster domestic tranquility, so you're stuck with just me again for the rest of the game. But to be honest, you might lost me soon too. I've been going to bed early because i'm on the final push of my thesis, getting it ready for its defense and whatnot. If this goes into extras, forgetaboutit


Joowan over here, looking like a pitcher! I type this, of course, 2 pitches before Hinske comes up

Doesn't that goatee make him look more virile? Ladies? Ladies?


D'oh, a guy goes to take a quick shower and I miss the go-ahead! Ain't that always the way. Someone tell me what happened!


*rocking nervously back and forth watching Twitch'n'Pitch do his thing*



A Win's a Win, this I understand, but this wasn't one of those you feel all that great about. The bullpen looked better, I suppose, right? A haiku:

Twins are back on track?
More remains to be seen, I
Adore Reese's Puffs

That speech STILL gives me chills whenever I read/watch it on youtube -- love ya RK -- and I still love Bartlett and he returns tonight!!! Past boyfriend and current boyfriend (Harris) battle it out...oooo...I loves it :)
here are some questions I hope get answered tonight:

1. what the hell is up with these 2 game series? what sense does that make?

2. why drop the "devil" from devil rays? do they think this makes them better?

there might be more, but that's what comes to mind right now. Come on, Dick and Bert, help me out!
totally. most boring uniforms. ever.

however, if they build the stadium they've been talking about, it will totally make up for it. if you haven't seen the renderings, you've gotta check it out. very cool.
there is mime balk, which would be pretty cool if he was a pitcher, not so much for a third baseman.

I feel bad suggesting this, seeing as how I'm a vegetarian and all, but I think Mint Jelly sounds kinda cool as a nickname.
Wow, that is a freaky looking ballpark. Should be cool, I think.

Baseball interlude: Okay, Twins pitchers can stop giving up HRs now. Really.

Anyway. Rays ballpark. I was disturbed by the language on where it says: "the new ballpark will link cultural and outdoor attractions, activating and drawing additional visitors to the waterfront district."

They're gonna activate additional visitors? Is this like them coming off the DL? Or is it more like a switch being flipped?

Like I said, freaky ballpark. Especially with the activation of additional visitors.
While he may suck, at least Kubel can hit a home run. unlike 11/13 of the Twins other hitters. (12 Pitchers means 13 hitters right? School is tired).
Mauer's throwing arm is almost unreal. Literally threw the ball where the runner was going to be, so LNP didn't even have to move his tiny hand.
It's a total cliche for me to love that Joe Mauer guy, but damn-- those perfect throws to second are (dare I say it) hot. (I don't call anything "hot" except for, like, stoves and stuff).

I keep wanting to say "frog puppet" after that interview with Scott Erickson. FROG PUPPET!
Has Scott Erickson always been this boring?
seriously, marriage proposals? anyone could do that. I think they just picked her because they like alliteration.

Also, I'm officially renaming Delmon "Deltron 2121" in tribute to my favorite album ever.
not compared to Reyes, it doesn't. that's some facial hair with sex appeal.
Crawford has heard your weary cries, and has gifted you with a Twins lead.

Let us thank Carl Crawford.
Deltron on 3rd, pop foul that Carl Crawford runs to make a nice play on, except for the fact that that nice play let Deltron run in and score the run. Excitement all around.
I was so glad to hear Bert's voice, too. He said something ridiculous about how you can't go wrong with a dog in a movie...I loved it.

As for Lamb, I've adopted Gardy's use of 'Lammers', sometimes adding a 'Z'. And due to a typo during an instant message conversation last night I've become sort of partial to 'Lamn'...but it's not very creative.
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