Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Back From The Grave
PREGAME
Well I'm done. It's submitted approved, electronically stored, and you can't see it for 3 years! Whee! Not that anybody's looking but... y'know.
And I've been partying here, DC, and everywhere in between. Yep, including Ironto, Roanoke, Salem, Buena Vista, Lexington, Staunton, Harrisonburg, Front Royal and not really I'm kidding.
So what's going on here? Roy Halladay huh? Should be awesome.
TOP 1ST
RK: I just want to start this game by noting that even I was kind of surprised at myself when I downloaded a best of Level 42 album
WV: Nice, I like your game. Boof vs. Halladay, I like these odds.
RK: Odds of a 4-inning start?
WV: Those odds have to be pretty good, and that means we'll have an endemic Sars plague later on.
RK: Remember when people took SARS seriously in the late '90s?
WV: Ah yes, the days off $2 gas.
RK: Que the hell? Why is Casilla playing short? He can't play second!
WV: Sand Castle just toppled... How about a 2 inning start?
RK: It's what the starters have been doing lately, get all the runs out during the first
WV: The ghost of Brad Radke haunts us all. Me, I've picked up an urge to go fishing.
RK: I wonder what Eric Milton is up to
WV: My hamstring suddenly hurts.
RK: Big K for Boof
WV: Having watched Rios watch a third strike down the middle of the plate, Casilla mistakenly believes he's reverted to the Lacanian mirror stage.
RK: They can't touch each other or they'd breach the parallax gap
WV: What do you think of this?: http://www.startribune.com/sports/twins/18934699.html?location_refer=Homepage
RK: I have much love for Renyt, but really, you hit one home run and that's earning your stripes?
WV: I'd like to think that my not so savory ex-girlfriends think the same thing about me.
RK: You have got to be kidding me
WV: Well then.
RK: I'm about ready to jump off the Boof wagon
WV: Between Kubel and Boof, I'm going to jump off somebody's wagon pretty quick here.
RK: I'll remain loyal to the Rubik's Kubel
BOTTOM 1ST
RK: I have to quibble with the Treasure Island scouting report on Mr. Halladay. They claim the Twins have never beaten him, but I could have sworn that Mr. Santana did just that in early 2003. Perhaps Halladay didn't take the loss
WV: Perhaps not. But I like Toblerone's spirit
RK: His tough toffee center shows through
WV: Justin the nick of time! Pull Boof before it's too late!
RK: Good Lord, now THAT's a Baltimore Chop if Cuddy can get to first on it...
Who doubts the Rubik's Kubel? WHO?!
WV: On the list of things I didn't expect to happen....
RK: He's trying to out-Boof Boof
WV: All of this offense has me a bit flushed.
RK: Final score on current track: 36-27
TOP 2ND, BJs 4 TC 3
WV: Boof will be fine for 4 or 5 innings and then everyone will sing his praises for battling back.
RK: Setting the bar low? It's the Hillary Rodham Clinton-slash-RK method of everyday life
WV: You're a better public speaker though, don't set the bar THAT low.
RK: I've given guest lectures at real universities! And not just for hard-working *white* people!
WV: As if Virginia needed yet another reason to disapprove of their Western brethren.
RK: But seriously, I hope WVa paves their roads soon
BOTTOM 2ND, SAME
RK: Telly! How I've missed you! Thanks Stacey, though I've already signed up for classes next year, so it's kind of a weird "graduation."
WV: I would put 3 K's in a row to signal that the side struck out but uh...
TOP 3RD, SAME
RK: Young made that look harder than it was. Stacey, that was the plan, just not here. But the offer I got at Tech was the same monetary amount as a school in New York City, so that became an easy choice.
WV: If Twins starters could just mulligan the first innings, they'd be the best staff in the league
BOTTOM 3RD, SAME
RK: Music suggestion - We Are Scientists; "Brain Thrust Mastery"
WV: This is baseball. Can't be throwing the ball around the field, Toronto.
RK: What do you call someone from Toronto? I vote for "Torontula"
WV: Torontella?
RK: Aaaand we're tied
RK: Jack Morris and Bert are waxing eternal about pitchers completing games
WV: See old Jack didn't just complete games, he went 12 innings, bitch. That line drive is a microcosm of Kubel's career thus far.
RK: He had a good rip earlier in the game, I stay committed
TOP 4TH, TIED AT 4
WV: So Halladay has a lower ERA than Livan but he's 3 and 5. Chew on that.
RK: Just goes to show you how meaningless W-L is for a pitcher's worth
WV: Right
RK: Challah day is probably a better pitcher, but what can you do?
WV: Lamb has got the "I'm really slow so I have to dive a lot but that tricks Dick into thinking I'm a good fielder" thing going on.
RK: 3B is an awfully reactive position anyway, so he can cheat a bit
WV: Remember when our whole pitching staff didn't walk people?
RK: That was awesome
WV: Let's see if Boof can hit 100 pitches by the end of this inning.
RK: Welp
WV: Maybe Boof is the answer to our bullpen problems.
RK: He'd be a good long man. Stacey, I generally don't think much of facial hair on anybody - it rarely works. I feel like with a name like Verlander, if you can't grow a huge Van Dyke, don't bother
WV: This game is giving me a headache
BOTTOM 4TH, JAYS 5 TWINS 4
RK: Dlmon Young should have just been grateful for the bloop single
WV: Ugly
TOP 5TH, SAME
RK: Uh... Another 80s video then?
BOTTOM 5TH, SAME
This game is definitely warping space across time
TOP 6TH, SAME
You tell us something interesting, hm?
BOTTOM 6TH, SAME
RK: We appreciate Madness too, Stacey, as fans of ska, we like to occasionally go back to some of the 3rd wave origins
WV: I was always more of a Specials man myself, but Madness has their moments.
RK: But going even farther back, I still put my iPod to the Skatelites
WV: Gosh, I wish we woulda gone after Scott Rolen.
RK: 6 of Lamb, half a dozen of Rolen
TOP 7TH, SAME
RK: It's a Joowan appearance!
WV: Nice recovery by the small sandcastle
BOTTOM 7TH
WV: Now if we could just get him and Go[m]ez on base at the same time.
RK: It'd be like Guzman and Rivas of old
WV: Mother---
RK: I'm having a hard time paying attention. I'm getting a dog in a few months and I'm looking at breeds
WV: Really? What are you leaning towards?
RK: I think a pug is on top, but the bulldog not far behind
TOP 8TH
RK: After that throw, I'm going on blogstrike
WV: I'll join you, mostly because I have to go to the airport.
RK and/or WV: Tut tut, Twins. Tut tut.
Well I'm done. It's submitted approved, electronically stored, and you can't see it for 3 years! Whee! Not that anybody's looking but... y'know.
And I've been partying here, DC, and everywhere in between. Yep, including Ironto, Roanoke, Salem, Buena Vista, Lexington, Staunton, Harrisonburg, Front Royal and not really I'm kidding.
So what's going on here? Roy Halladay huh? Should be awesome.
TOP 1ST
RK: I just want to start this game by noting that even I was kind of surprised at myself when I downloaded a best of Level 42 album
WV: Nice, I like your game. Boof vs. Halladay, I like these odds.
RK: Odds of a 4-inning start?
WV: Those odds have to be pretty good, and that means we'll have an endemic Sars plague later on.
RK: Remember when people took SARS seriously in the late '90s?
WV: Ah yes, the days off $2 gas.
RK: Que the hell? Why is Casilla playing short? He can't play second!
WV: Sand Castle just toppled... How about a 2 inning start?
RK: It's what the starters have been doing lately, get all the runs out during the first
WV: The ghost of Brad Radke haunts us all. Me, I've picked up an urge to go fishing.
RK: I wonder what Eric Milton is up to
WV: My hamstring suddenly hurts.
RK: Big K for Boof
WV: Having watched Rios watch a third strike down the middle of the plate, Casilla mistakenly believes he's reverted to the Lacanian mirror stage.
RK: They can't touch each other or they'd breach the parallax gap
WV: What do you think of this?: http://www.startribune.com/sports/twins/18934699.html?location_refer=Homepage
RK: I have much love for Renyt, but really, you hit one home run and that's earning your stripes?
WV: I'd like to think that my not so savory ex-girlfriends think the same thing about me.
RK: You have got to be kidding me
WV: Well then.
RK: I'm about ready to jump off the Boof wagon
WV: Between Kubel and Boof, I'm going to jump off somebody's wagon pretty quick here.
RK: I'll remain loyal to the Rubik's Kubel
BOTTOM 1ST
RK: I have to quibble with the Treasure Island scouting report on Mr. Halladay. They claim the Twins have never beaten him, but I could have sworn that Mr. Santana did just that in early 2003. Perhaps Halladay didn't take the loss
WV: Perhaps not. But I like Toblerone's spirit
RK: His tough toffee center shows through
WV: Justin the nick of time! Pull Boof before it's too late!
RK: Good Lord, now THAT's a Baltimore Chop if Cuddy can get to first on it...
Who doubts the Rubik's Kubel? WHO?!
WV: On the list of things I didn't expect to happen....
RK: He's trying to out-Boof Boof
WV: All of this offense has me a bit flushed.
RK: Final score on current track: 36-27
TOP 2ND, BJs 4 TC 3
WV: Boof will be fine for 4 or 5 innings and then everyone will sing his praises for battling back.
RK: Setting the bar low? It's the Hillary Rodham Clinton-slash-RK method of everyday life
WV: You're a better public speaker though, don't set the bar THAT low.
RK: I've given guest lectures at real universities! And not just for hard-working *white* people!
WV: As if Virginia needed yet another reason to disapprove of their Western brethren.
RK: But seriously, I hope WVa paves their roads soon
BOTTOM 2ND, SAME
RK: Telly! How I've missed you! Thanks Stacey, though I've already signed up for classes next year, so it's kind of a weird "graduation."
WV: I would put 3 K's in a row to signal that the side struck out but uh...
TOP 3RD, SAME
RK: Young made that look harder than it was. Stacey, that was the plan, just not here. But the offer I got at Tech was the same monetary amount as a school in New York City, so that became an easy choice.
WV: If Twins starters could just mulligan the first innings, they'd be the best staff in the league
BOTTOM 3RD, SAME
RK: Music suggestion - We Are Scientists; "Brain Thrust Mastery"
WV: This is baseball. Can't be throwing the ball around the field, Toronto.
RK: What do you call someone from Toronto? I vote for "Torontula"
WV: Torontella?
RK: Aaaand we're tied
RK: Jack Morris and Bert are waxing eternal about pitchers completing games
WV: See old Jack didn't just complete games, he went 12 innings, bitch. That line drive is a microcosm of Kubel's career thus far.
RK: He had a good rip earlier in the game, I stay committed
TOP 4TH, TIED AT 4
WV: So Halladay has a lower ERA than Livan but he's 3 and 5. Chew on that.
RK: Just goes to show you how meaningless W-L is for a pitcher's worth
WV: Right
RK: Challah day is probably a better pitcher, but what can you do?
WV: Lamb has got the "I'm really slow so I have to dive a lot but that tricks Dick into thinking I'm a good fielder" thing going on.
RK: 3B is an awfully reactive position anyway, so he can cheat a bit
WV: Remember when our whole pitching staff didn't walk people?
RK: That was awesome
WV: Let's see if Boof can hit 100 pitches by the end of this inning.
RK: Welp
WV: Maybe Boof is the answer to our bullpen problems.
RK: He'd be a good long man. Stacey, I generally don't think much of facial hair on anybody - it rarely works. I feel like with a name like Verlander, if you can't grow a huge Van Dyke, don't bother
WV: This game is giving me a headache
BOTTOM 4TH, JAYS 5 TWINS 4
RK: Dlmon Young should have just been grateful for the bloop single
WV: Ugly
TOP 5TH, SAME
RK: Uh... Another 80s video then?
BOTTOM 5TH, SAME
This game is definitely warping space across time
TOP 6TH, SAME
You tell us something interesting, hm?
BOTTOM 6TH, SAME
RK: We appreciate Madness too, Stacey, as fans of ska, we like to occasionally go back to some of the 3rd wave origins
WV: I was always more of a Specials man myself, but Madness has their moments.
RK: But going even farther back, I still put my iPod to the Skatelites
WV: Gosh, I wish we woulda gone after Scott Rolen.
RK: 6 of Lamb, half a dozen of Rolen
TOP 7TH, SAME
RK: It's a Joowan appearance!
WV: Nice recovery by the small sandcastle
BOTTOM 7TH
WV: Now if we could just get him and Go[m]ez on base at the same time.
RK: It'd be like Guzman and Rivas of old
WV: Mother---
RK: I'm having a hard time paying attention. I'm getting a dog in a few months and I'm looking at breeds
WV: Really? What are you leaning towards?
RK: I think a pug is on top, but the bulldog not far behind
TOP 8TH
RK: After that throw, I'm going on blogstrike
WV: I'll join you, mostly because I have to go to the airport.
RK and/or WV: Tut tut, Twins. Tut tut.
Comments:
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hey RK, congrats on finishing up, that's impressive in the face of a first place baseball team and spring loveliness!
that will be the same for me. I'll graduate with my Masters in August, with a year of classes for my Ph.D. already done. Were you not planning on going on the Ph.D. level?
I'm watching both the Twins and the KC/Detroit game, and I've gotta say...Boof's goatee is way less creepy than Verlander's. Ver's has the look of a 16 year old kid trying to look tough and failing...at least Boof's is manly.
I'm not gonna lie, I'm a little disappointed that Tyner is so resentful of the Twins that he had to say something about it. He seems like the type of guy who wouldn't say anything at all and who would politely go about his business and accept what life hands him...I guess not. I really liked that guy, too.
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