Tuesday, May 20, 2008

 

What is a Quality Start?

PREGAME

As you know, I watch Jeopardy! a lot. Maybe you didn't know that. I always think "Oh I could so do that" between handfuls of Trader Joe's dried apricots (at least in this one instance), but then I don't take into account the fact that it's harder than it looks. You have to buzz in right and you're on stage and there's like, real money at stake, so maybe just confidently blurting out the answers isn't gonna actually get you anything? Unless you're Rosario Dawson in White Men Can't Jump.

Oh yeah, anyway, after a long game with many pitchers last night (Bon Jovi as a PH?) we could really use a quality start tonight.

Anyway, let's watch some baseball.

TOP 1ST

Oooh! Lobster on Good Eats!

All we need is a pitcher named Embers, Cracker Barrel and Waffle House, and we'd have the roadside diner thing pretty much covered. Call up Dan Ponderosa!

And he'll be squaring off against Johnny Mathis. It's not for me to saaaaay



Haha, at first I thought the Treasure Island scouting report that said Ponderosa has shown "poise" on the mound, and at first I saw "pois" which sounds delicious. I like what I'm seeing!

BOTTOM 1ST

Ooh, rolling out a lobster leg with a rolling pin gets the meat out. I had a pet lobster once for a few weeks. Then we ate it. My roommate and I were horrible people at the S-J-U.

Triples, speed on the basepaths, Baltimore Chops and run production? Is this 2001 with Guzman and Rivas?

Oh dear, I'm already giddy. If Dr Neau hits a dinger here, it'd be shades of 2006.

Yeah, the Walker: Texas Rangers respect the Kubel

TOP 2, TXR 0 MNT 2

Hm, I feel that whenever Candyland Chutes and Ladders hits against us he always gets on base.

I like that I don't get a chance to say a lot when the Twins are pitching.

Bonus Good Eats! Scallops! Yum.

BOTTOM 3RD, SAME

Sorry, but a guacamole dinner called.

Also, tonight's beer: Frugal Joe's Ordinary Beer. Clever packaging won me over. Brewed in lovely New Ulm Minnesota!

Singles, walks, patience at the plate; I like. But I'm not gonna say this is the beginning of a new page - this is Johnny Mathis' first start, after all.

Feel-ding skillz, Kinsler haz them.

I like the fact that I'm not seeing Gomez swing at pitches low and away so much.

Well, rock and roll. Knocked the starter out.

Ha, true, Laurel. I know Bon Jovi, as far as pitchers go, is one of the better ones, but still, that's not something you expect to see. Were you in an all you can eat seat?

How many times has Salamander been to the mound now?

The Twins are on pace for 27 runs

TOP 4, RANGERS NOT A LOT TWINS A WHOLE LOT MORE

Hey, thanks for proving me wrong about always being on base, Sorry! Aggravation

This Glen Perkins guy, he's the new square real fair deal.

BOTTOM 4TH, SAME

Cuddy wuz robbed!

Let's hope this is one of those games where they take an inning off from scoring. Still on pace to score 22.5 runs

TOP 5TH, SAME

Glen Ponderosa has a sort of erotic tongue lick before he throws the ball.

BOTTOM 5TH

Baseball!

TOP 6TH

Glen Ponderosa is Cruisin USA... or is it World? Or does anybody even know what I'm talking about anymore?

BOTTOM 6TH

Oh fuck nuggets. It's just not a Twins game unless there's a GIDP or 7

TOP 7TH

Boggle Guess Who is up. I'm the king of Boggle, there is none higher. I get 11 points on the word "quagmire."

It'd be great if Salamander could hit a ground ball at one of the infielders. That would be just superfantastiche.

Well... at least Sars is looking pretty effective here

BOTTOM 7TH

TRUE FACT: Kubel is good at the game of baseball

How many 3B is that for Young? Oh, 4. Thanks Bert.

TOP 8TH

Doobie, doobie doo

BOTTOM 8TH

I'm at the point where I want the game to just be over. I'm such a terrible fan. But I wouldn't if I were at the Metrodome. I'm getting nostalgic for Minnesota. Le sigh.

TOP 9TH

Hey, my mom called! Have a good night!

POSTGAME

Seriously, when Mom calls, I talk

Comments:
Livan actually has won a Silver Slugger award; I read an article that listed best-hitting pitchers in baseball and he was on it.

In a postgame interview, Gardy said Livan was ready to come in to pinch hit from inning 8 or 9 on. I think Livan should've had his shiny silver bat with him to make his case.

I was at the Dome last night and it was wild. Fun game when it wasn't frustrating.
 
Didn't do the all-you-can-eat seats, already had my parents tickets for super good seats (section 127 on the aisle-- so basically behind home plate a little on the third base side, about 14 actual rows up though the row number is different 'cause the Dome is strange like that).

As the crowd thinned, lots of the die-hards who stayed late moved down to better seats so we had a good crowd down there.

We're going tomorrow, will be in upper deck, but not eat seats (less chance of Coomer, doncha know).
 
"Glen Ponderosa has a sort of erotic tongue lick before he throws the ball"


hahahaha.
Perv.

<3 jk.

In soviet russia glen ponderosa licks YOU.

....wow
 
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