Pulling A Blyleven

PREGAME

Well, I suggested to RK that I celebrity guest blog sometime, and seeing that he doesn't get MASN (Mid-Atlantic-Sports Network), and I do... well, here I am.

I recently moved to the Washington, D.C. Metro area as an Atlanta Braves fan. Well, my hometown AAA affiliate Richmond Braves are leaving town, and I decided to ditch my Braves and become a Nats fan. After all, I can't join a team when they are hot. Clearly I am not a fan of Boston.



Yes, I became a fan of the fighting Walgreens of Washington, D.C.

As you can see from the picture above, the beloved curly W (seen on the Metrorail card to the right) looks eerily similar to a certain drug-store logo. Unfortunately, you can't fill your prescription at the new park, but you can enjoy a pretzel stuffed with crab meat, a pretty good chili dog, or a Senator's Sausage. Whoops. Didn't think that last one through:



Don't look or anything, but Larry Craig is right behind you.

Anyhow... RK and I enjoyed some Senators Sausages, and I witnessed yet another loss.

I did have the pleasure recently to give Pujols the stinkeye (thanks to really good seats from work) and see a walk-off, 2 run homer in the 10th against the Cards. I also got a Ryan Zimmerman bobblehead. That'll do me a lot of good, sitting on my bobble DL.

Anyhow, this blog is about y'all. I mean, you guys. From what RK tells me, Y'all have a beautiful city, with friendly people, blue skies, and Bert.

Well, here we go. Maybe the Nats can pull off W number 30 tonight. 30 wins in June! I do declare! Once, I even saw us hit the ball.

But then again, this is a Twins blog.

TOP 1st

Well, Guz has been on fire lately. And we thought all he did was drill it into the dirt!

2 on. Don't fret.

Fun Fact: TL doesn't know all that much about baseball, but loves it nonetheless. At least I fit in as a Nats/Braves fan in that respect.

BOTTOM 1st

Whoa. already more exciting than last night. Fastball to the face on a bunt.... Lo Duca getting his wrist snapped back on an error at first.

Bergmann vs the Bunt-happy Twins. Maybe y'all figured out you can run on us nearly every chance.

If you look closely, you will see that foulin' Joe Mauer didn't swing. He hit the ball with his good looks alone. Nats decide to walk him just because he is too handsome to stay at the plate.

Note: delightful organ-player y'all have.

The Nats game the other day had a smattering of Kelly Clarkson, Hava Nagila (about 15 times), Car Wash, and some early-90's techno. I half-expected to hear Cher.

Morneau is actually ineligible to play today, as his HR from last night never actually landed. It is believed to be crossing Lake Superior at the moment.

Twins 1 Walgreens 0

TOP 2nd

And a slew of Slowey comments are spewing from Sutton (Don Sutton!). I bet you Twins don't ever get tired of "Slowey Fast Ball".

I think Manny Acta should be fired at 2am, and the Nats should hire Willie Randolph. Then we could change our name to the Washington Willies. Willie Randolph, Willy Harris, Wily Mo Pena, Wil Nieves... Will-we-ever-winafreakingame??

BOTTOM 2nd

Nice hit into the trashbag, another error.... and 2 runs!

"Speeding Drivers Get Tagged" (the ad behind home plate) Who makes this ad? It doesn't list a sponsor...

Fun fact: at every Nats game I have gone to, I have seen at least one person with a Twins jersey on.

2 unearned runs....

Twins 3 Walgreens 0

TOP 3rd

Well, the limp willies return to home plate.

Out. Out....... and Elijah-I-can't-even-do-things-right-when-I-do-things-right is... out at first.

BOTTOM 3rd

Are you aware of the New York Yankees newest entrepreneurial endeavor? That's right. Not the Hard Rock Cafe. A NYY steakhouse. For the remainder of the Blog, I will research other NYY products coming soon. Clearly their logo isn't plastered on enough items:



Tasteless on my part? Yes. Worth it? Yes.

TOP 4th

Guzman is 2nd in hits behind Chipper Jones. He had Laser Eye surgery. RK is shocked.

Dmitri Young and Delmon Young look nothing alike.

Actual In Game Trivia with Don Sutton:

Who hit the game winning HR in game 6 of the 1991 World Series?

Anyone?... I'm not sure...

BOTTOM 4th

Distracted on my part. A good friend of mine is in town and wants me to meet her at Chili's. Too bad Chili's sucks so bad, but I should at least be able to follow the game. Perhaps I will see you all tomorrow night? (By you all I mean someone other than RK) Or perhaps you hate me. Yankpons are trademarked. Don't you even try and market them.

TOP 5th

My cousin Felipe just hit a home run. Morneau style.

Guz ties Chipper for hits. sorry this blog is so Natscentric.

Lastings-my-name-really-sucks-Mill.... is out.

And I'm out. It's been an honor! RK will take over.

BOTTOM 5th

TL has a rare opportunity to spend the evening with probably the most stupefyingly gorgeous woman in VA, and we can't begrudge him wanting to take off.

But I'm watching gameday, so I'm cranky.

The gray blob hit a red dot!

Cuddly McDimples' ears look floppy and goofy in his picture. Which makes me like him a little more.

TOP 6TH

4 pitch walk to the meathook

3 pitch strikeout to... the next guy.

Yin and yang unite.

TL's parting comment: "Slllooooooweeeeeey"

Yeah yeah, get out of here.

Aaron Boone singled, and is high out of his mind.

Can Slowey get out of this? I don't know! He's invisible! Which is a neat trick. All I see is the trajectory of his pitches. And a bunch of statistics that don't mean anything to me because I've never taken physics. That's right. Not on any single level ever. I'm even a little skeptical of gravity.

And that's why there's 3 outs and that's a TRUE FACT.

BOTTOM 6TH, WALGREENS 1 TWINS 3

Hey, the younger Young has taken two pitches!

Based on that red dot it looks like Buscher was close to his first dinger.

TOP 7TH, SAME

People on base with nobody out and only up by two and OH GOD.

Oh my that strikeout was much needed. Not only for the chances of the Twins pulling this game out but for me to be a statistical anomaly of dying of a heart attack at 25.

A second strikeout? Could it be that we can get out of this inning with little to no damage? Dare I put my faith in the bullpen?

And Jesus doesn't come through! This particular Jesus. Your Own Personal Jesus. /Depeche Mode

I...I just can't do this guys, blog while watching game day. As Milton Bradley would say, I'm strong, but I'm not that strong.