Tuesday, June 24, 2008
I Got My Coffee
TOP 4TH, TWINS 1 THE FIGHTIN' GWYNNS 0
Sorry folks, I just got here and it's gonna be a long night. Maybe I had some cocktails, maybe it was dollar off mojitos at the cajun place, but big whoop wanna fight about it? OK.
Harris was a former National? How did I not know this? Loyal reader and contributor TL was at the Nationals game on Monday (some people would call that yesterday) and tagged a picture of Torii Hunter as me on Facebook. He is insane.
There are some pretty key differences between he and I. He is much older.
BOTTOM 4TH, SAME
I have settled on Der Kaiser's nickname for Kevin Slowey - Slowey Gin Fizz. How do I link to this stuff?
TOP 5TH, SAME
Tony Gwynn, from his voice alone, must be 4 feet tall and 3 feet wide. Oh, is that about right?
Oof, this lack of execution does not bode well. Slowey can't get the bunt down, CarGo shows more emotion than Kenneth Branaugh in a Shakespeare movie, and Casilla goes down on the first pitch. Oh bother.
As AB would say.
BOTTOM 5TH, SAME
Slowey Gin Fizz looks to be about on pace to go 7, knock on wood. He's averaging 16 pitches per inning, so maybe if he knocks that down a bit oh my head hurts.
TOP 6TH, SAME
Slowey has a season high with 7 Ks? Who needs Johan, he who gives up home runs to pitchers in the AL? I kinda feel bad for the guy because he's over in that catastrofuck in Queens and he doesn't need that in his life.
Nibbish, you read my mind, thinking of these two pitchers in tandem. Slowey is truly pitching a good game so far.
Also, I feel like I've been away a long time. I couldn't watch the Nats games (blacked out) and I was gone all weekend and now it's late and I'm only impaired enough to not know how to do html. The benefit for you of course is that I have never known how to do html which leads me to his axiom:
When you drink, your brain kills cells that haven't been used to learn anything yet, so the net loss is practically zero. This is a true fact based on rigorous science.
Well hey, um, let's get these runs across, huh? I was distracted by Stephen Colbert. Like you do. Why is it so late? God I hate the west coast.
Brendan Harris, you go sit down and think about what you've done.
BOTTOM 6TH, SAME
"Gets off of a sharp wicked hook?" Sorry announcer man, I believe it's a wicked sharp hook. Or do they say it differently in the oxygen bars?
I don't really hate the west coast. Whatever.
What? McNutty shouldn't be batting, he should be patrolling the streets of B'more, getting Bodie Brodus got.
Tony Gwynn makes a good point; most pitchers get easier to hit the later they go, due to seeing them more, arm fatigue, etc. Thank you for making sense, Tony. You totes deserve to be in the H.O.F.
Number one web gem for sure! Mauer's throw wasn't on target but Casilla somehow somersaulted and applied the tag and made a Peanut Buster Parfait at the same time.
TOP 7TH, SAME
OH MY GOD BRYAN COREY IS SCARY LOOKING
Mike lambda, may the beard see you through this dearth of offense.
IT'S BERT IT'S BERT IT'S BERT HI BERT! I MISS YOU!
/too much enthusiasm maybe.
San Diego announcers, you're OK in my book. Of course Bert belongs. Of course. I'm getting worked up just thinking about it.
Lambda, stop it.
Bert used to cut off Dick's tie? Really? That's... I dunno, I'm glad he doesn't do that anymore. I have something of a tie... thing. I may have over 50 neck ties. I used to have a real job where I had to wear ties and everything, and anyway.
Did you know on Kevin Slowey's blog when he writes Dick Bremer it comes out **** Bremer? Because he's clearly talking about a penis.
PaB, night time. Like the USA network, a little more erotic, but not really, so go to bed already.
BOTTOM 7TH, SAME
Oh Crainadian. Runners at the corners with no out? How did it ever come to this?
Well for the love of...
I guess Jesse and Joe are gonna put money in the pot to buy Slowey dinner for ruining his chance to win the game.
Gardy is looking a-pretty tan right now. Think he went to the ocean on his day off? Or called his wife and just barked at her all day?
Double play! That would have been great! Earlier! Oh well, at least they'll score a bunch of runs in the 8th.
TOP 8TH, KNOTTED AT 1
What was Justin thinking? Seriously. Somebody tell me. I want an answer immediate style.
BOTTOM 8TH, SAME
The only thing that makes sense is what Gwynn said. That somehow, Morneau expected that in the dirt, thinking he could make it to second. Perhaps Tony is being charitable to the should-be better-be American Leauge 1B All-Star
Leadoff walks never end well. Or often don't end well. Or all of the time sometimes don't end well. I don't like how this feels.
What is going on with the bullpen? I know statistically and everything blah blah blah, but 2 on no out? Gah!
A strikeout of Jody is encouraging, now if only the good guys could get a double play ball, that'd be stupendous.
OK, bringing in the Grand Slam Breakfast to get the lefty out, I can see that. Hey, they might just get out of this!
Man, I wish I could get that job. One pitch, one out, paycheck please?
TOP 9TH, SAME
Harris! You've redeemed your striking-out ass! I was about to call it a night and go to bed!
As opposed to calling it a night and making clay pots.
And what Brian Buscher? What oh my lord, I'm dreaming. I have to be asleep right now.
Next thing you know they'll pinch for Reyes with Monroe and he'll hit a dinger.
Nibbish, are you also asleep? It's like 4 in the morning here on the east coast.
I called the Monroe PH! That Means Something! Because I capitalized it. That was not a complete sentence.
And Monroe ends it, but whatevs.
BOTTOM 9TH, TWINS UP 2
Joe Nathan is all Trever Hoffman ain't shit, and stop wasting my time.
POSTGAME
The Twins won, but I still don't believe I'm awake, so we'll see what happens in the morning. Good night everyone.
Sorry folks, I just got here and it's gonna be a long night. Maybe I had some cocktails, maybe it was dollar off mojitos at the cajun place, but big whoop wanna fight about it? OK.
Harris was a former National? How did I not know this? Loyal reader and contributor TL was at the Nationals game on Monday (some people would call that yesterday) and tagged a picture of Torii Hunter as me on Facebook. He is insane.
There are some pretty key differences between he and I. He is much older.
BOTTOM 4TH, SAME
I have settled on Der Kaiser's nickname for Kevin Slowey - Slowey Gin Fizz. How do I link to this stuff?
TOP 5TH, SAME
Tony Gwynn, from his voice alone, must be 4 feet tall and 3 feet wide. Oh, is that about right?
Oof, this lack of execution does not bode well. Slowey can't get the bunt down, CarGo shows more emotion than Kenneth Branaugh in a Shakespeare movie, and Casilla goes down on the first pitch. Oh bother.
As AB would say.
BOTTOM 5TH, SAME
Slowey Gin Fizz looks to be about on pace to go 7, knock on wood. He's averaging 16 pitches per inning, so maybe if he knocks that down a bit oh my head hurts.
TOP 6TH, SAME
Slowey has a season high with 7 Ks? Who needs Johan, he who gives up home runs to pitchers in the AL? I kinda feel bad for the guy because he's over in that catastrofuck in Queens and he doesn't need that in his life.
Nibbish, you read my mind, thinking of these two pitchers in tandem. Slowey is truly pitching a good game so far.
Also, I feel like I've been away a long time. I couldn't watch the Nats games (blacked out) and I was gone all weekend and now it's late and I'm only impaired enough to not know how to do html. The benefit for you of course is that I have never known how to do html which leads me to his axiom:
When you drink, your brain kills cells that haven't been used to learn anything yet, so the net loss is practically zero. This is a true fact based on rigorous science.
Well hey, um, let's get these runs across, huh? I was distracted by Stephen Colbert. Like you do. Why is it so late? God I hate the west coast.
Brendan Harris, you go sit down and think about what you've done.
BOTTOM 6TH, SAME
"Gets off of a sharp wicked hook?" Sorry announcer man, I believe it's a wicked sharp hook. Or do they say it differently in the oxygen bars?
I don't really hate the west coast. Whatever.
What? McNutty shouldn't be batting, he should be patrolling the streets of B'more, getting Bodie Brodus got.
Tony Gwynn makes a good point; most pitchers get easier to hit the later they go, due to seeing them more, arm fatigue, etc. Thank you for making sense, Tony. You totes deserve to be in the H.O.F.
Number one web gem for sure! Mauer's throw wasn't on target but Casilla somehow somersaulted and applied the tag and made a Peanut Buster Parfait at the same time.
TOP 7TH, SAME
OH MY GOD BRYAN COREY IS SCARY LOOKING
Mike lambda, may the beard see you through this dearth of offense.
IT'S BERT IT'S BERT IT'S BERT HI BERT! I MISS YOU!
/too much enthusiasm maybe.
San Diego announcers, you're OK in my book. Of course Bert belongs. Of course. I'm getting worked up just thinking about it.
Lambda, stop it.
Bert used to cut off Dick's tie? Really? That's... I dunno, I'm glad he doesn't do that anymore. I have something of a tie... thing. I may have over 50 neck ties. I used to have a real job where I had to wear ties and everything, and anyway.
Did you know on Kevin Slowey's blog when he writes Dick Bremer it comes out **** Bremer? Because he's clearly talking about a penis.
PaB, night time. Like the USA network, a little more erotic, but not really, so go to bed already.
BOTTOM 7TH, SAME
Oh Crainadian. Runners at the corners with no out? How did it ever come to this?
Well for the love of...
I guess Jesse and Joe are gonna put money in the pot to buy Slowey dinner for ruining his chance to win the game.
Gardy is looking a-pretty tan right now. Think he went to the ocean on his day off? Or called his wife and just barked at her all day?
Double play! That would have been great! Earlier! Oh well, at least they'll score a bunch of runs in the 8th.
TOP 8TH, KNOTTED AT 1
What was Justin thinking? Seriously. Somebody tell me. I want an answer immediate style.
BOTTOM 8TH, SAME
The only thing that makes sense is what Gwynn said. That somehow, Morneau expected that in the dirt, thinking he could make it to second. Perhaps Tony is being charitable to the should-be better-be American Leauge 1B All-Star
Leadoff walks never end well. Or often don't end well. Or all of the time sometimes don't end well. I don't like how this feels.
What is going on with the bullpen? I know statistically and everything blah blah blah, but 2 on no out? Gah!
A strikeout of Jody is encouraging, now if only the good guys could get a double play ball, that'd be stupendous.
OK, bringing in the Grand Slam Breakfast to get the lefty out, I can see that. Hey, they might just get out of this!
Man, I wish I could get that job. One pitch, one out, paycheck please?
TOP 9TH, SAME
Harris! You've redeemed your striking-out ass! I was about to call it a night and go to bed!
As opposed to calling it a night and making clay pots.
And what Brian Buscher? What oh my lord, I'm dreaming. I have to be asleep right now.
Next thing you know they'll pinch for Reyes with Monroe and he'll hit a dinger.
Nibbish, are you also asleep? It's like 4 in the morning here on the east coast.
I called the Monroe PH! That Means Something! Because I capitalized it. That was not a complete sentence.
And Monroe ends it, but whatevs.
BOTTOM 9TH, TWINS UP 2
Joe Nathan is all Trever Hoffman ain't shit, and stop wasting my time.
POSTGAME
The Twins won, but I still don't believe I'm awake, so we'll see what happens in the morning. Good night everyone.
# posted by RK @ 10:14 PM 
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I was seriously about to fall asleep when Harris hit that home run. I was thinking to myself, "Maybe if I just close my eyes and lie here for a moment, something will happen." And it did! For once. Seven games in a row! Pretty exciting.
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# posted by 
: 5:36 PM
: 5:36 PM << Home
