Sunday, August 24, 2008


Dear Science


WV is back from MN, and I'm doing some homework in re: Mills' The Sociological Imagination, so of course I'd like to take a break from that and blog a special weekend game. We spoil you so.

The title reflects the title of the new TV on the Radio album "Dear Science," and you can listen to their first single "Golden Age" at their website.

Anyway, does someone want to crunch the numbers to see if any leadoff man has gotten on more often than Span?

And then some terrible baserunning by the little sandcastle.

3-pitch K for OMG? This game started well, and quickly deteriorated.

Whew, the other JM knocked in Mr. Span. And that's 100 RsBI! Let's have a celebration! Doug Mientkiewicz is going to light the candles and clean up when everybody's done. And then keep the ball to pay for his kids' college educations.

That was mean, I love Dougie Pinetar.


Fignewton looks like someone and I can't think who it might be... There has never been a sentence so devoid of purpose. I'd like to thank me.


Why do the announcers keep saying that because it's an early start, balls will carry? Is this some meteorological truth of which I am unaware? Does it have to do with dew point, barometric pressure, or how many angels can dance to "Whoomp! There it is" on the head of a pin?

Perhaps it's because the Cubs always played day games and there are always tons of dingers. I'd point out in that instance that the measurements are Wrigley are about 12 feet down each line.

Anyway, Punto can't make them all, and that's OK, he's kinda short.

Torii, you gotta want it more. You might not have it in you.


RK: Not to keep bagging on Torii, but can we say that this is an example of an above average player who can't carry a team? Like, if Tex and Vlad weren't around, would he have the numbers he does? Could he make like Kirby and carry a team on his shoulders?

WV: If you combined Neverhit's arm with Aybar's glove skills you'd have the worst SS ever.

WV: Yeah, those are good questions. And I'm not sure if they are rhetorical, because they answer themselves.

RK: And that error will allow us to turn the lineup over. And if I were a strident NL fanboy in 1973, that would mean something

RK: Santanaganger is making CarGo look stupid

WV: I think instead of dwelling on the Twins lack of a trade deadline pick-up Hunter needs to ask why the Angels felt the need to go and get Tex. Gary Mathews Jr. could join him in that meditation.

RK: I hate it when people strike out on ball four


WV: It's Gary Matthews Jr.! Shh, don't scare him!

RK: Hey, [H]G[H]ary Matthews Jr.! Remember that catch? Steroids would have gotten you that extra 15 feet

WV: I have to say, I hand it to him for converting that one moment of blind luck into lifetime financial security.


WV: Is Span really 8 for 14 this series? Where did this guy come from? It's like he and Ichiro switched bodies a la Freaky Friday.

RK: I have a feeling Cuddy might be on the market this winter

WV: Whoever used to call him Ervin Magic Santana gets an F for creativity.

RK: And Matthews....pulls a Cuddy of his own and totally misplays that line drive. Remember that one catch??

WV: He sure better

RK: When he's in his 60s, he'll be telling his grandkids about how he hoodwinked the Angels into giving him a 55 million contract because he caught a ball and used HGH


WV: Throwing Cargo change-ups is like tormenting a cat with a laser pointer. Not only do they never learn, but it's such easy diversion.


WV: Isn't Bert an Angels alumnus? It doesn't look like they invited him to their party.

RK: Bert is at the alumni gathering, absolutely. Free food? He's tehre

RK: Oh, and it's nice to hear Roger Lodge has work after Blind Date was cancelled besides being on Jim Rome is Burning

WV: I'd go to Singles Night at Angels' stadium if Roger Lodge was there.

WV: So, when I wasn't in my right state of mind the other night I called Howie Mandel in Bobby's World an esoteric reference. I'd like to take that back, sorry for any hurt feelings there.

RK: That's OK, esoteric is one of those buzzwords used to describe someone in the humanities or social sciences who actually manages to sell more than 12 books

WV: And if Lew Ford were there, he'd certainly make a comment about questing and orcs in reference to getting out of that jam.


WV: It's a shame that all we can come up with is Roger Lodge but we're working with what they're giving us right

RK: I like Slowey making relatively quick work of these guys

RK: Red Sox won and Bitch Sox in extrees

6TH; LAAAAAAAAAA 1, Hennepin County Twins of Minneapois 3

No more shutout as Tex and Morneau trade jacks, but we stay up 2.

Torii against Twins this year: 5 for 32. That would be a schadenfreude martini served with a twist of lemon.


WV: I'd be wary of putting Reyes in today, what with the entire In-N-Out burger restaurant he swallowed earlier.

WV: Literally, the whole building.

RK: I don't blame him though. I'm the same way when I get the delicious In-N-Out

WV: Not to be confused with Nickelodeon's first foray into the movie business, "Good Burger"

RK: Mike from Naples is up, who isn't have a great year, but got a dinger in the first series of the season, so of course he's in

WV: Well that was ugly

RK: Not so great.

WV: Well, good thing Jim Sicilia and Tom Torino aren't on the bench ready to pinch hit.

WV: I used to pull that same move in Hackey Sack, the upside down face plant over Pinko's outstretched glove.

RK: I picked one of those up recently. I can still do the around the world jester

RK: Pinko owes Dr. Neau a pizza

WV: You know, I love Buscher to death but....

TOP 8TH, Hennepin County Twins of Minneapolis Up 1

RK: Oh, that's a dinger. Yknow how I know? Because it's my guy doing it

RK: What. The. Fuck. Well OK it wasn't a homer

WV: "I'm not a fan of replay, except for plays like that."

WV: You mean, plays where replay would be useful and make a measurable difference in the outcome of a game?

RK: He probably meant HR calls, but yeah, that didn't make any sense

WV: "I'm not in favor of the sun, except when it warms the earth and incites photosynthesis."


RK: I've noticed that the Twins don't like having sole possession of first place anyway

RK: What do you suppose the odds are of 2+ runs off of K-Rod

WV: Not so good, but you're right. We play at our best from 2nd.

WV: When the Bitch Sox came back you kind of knew this was coming.

RK: Yeah, all the wrong teams won today

Ah, your words rang true today. We do seem to play our best in second place. Disappointing. I'm getting really tired of these lead changes. I mean, it's great when the Twins are in first, but they never seem to be able to hold it for more than a couple of days at a time. Dang ChiSox. AND AJ PIERZYNSKI! He probably plans out his days so that he can piss off as many people as possible.
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