Friday, August 15, 2008


Oh Well Hello There Francisco


WV: Did you see those acrobatics to get Ichiro? And he's not even a 9 year old Chinese girl.

RK: Miguel Cairo's still around, huh? And Richie Sexson again designated for assignment

RK: I'm a... shooting for a white russian an inning here

WV: Third out. [RK's liver cringes]


RK: Oh yeah! The sinkerballer with the sinkerball that doesn't sink!

WV: I have to say, I feel some nostalgia for the Chief.

RK: Remember when he threw the 23 pitch CG shutout? True fact, don't bother looking that up

WV: Right, for the other 4 outs, they simply counted the pitch he threw to the previous batter.

RK: It is like the good old days! Of '07

WV: Ah yes, those halcyon days of Venezuelan pitching.

RK: Jeez, I mean, it's an out and everything, but the wolf is getting lit up here

RK: : Morneau's dribbler to first had some English on it. I saw that on trick shot magic once I think from Mike Massey

RK: Or Ken Rossman? Stefano Pelinga? Do I watch this shit too much?

WV: That's 3 more billiards players than I knew before this conversation. So, maybe.

RK: Between trick shot magic and scrabble, I got ESPN2 on lock

WV: The Mariners outfielders will need to be treated for PTS after this inning.


WV: Liriano seems solid, but I'm not sure I buy this lip service about him throwing 97 at Rochester and magically losing 7 mph on the plane ride to 'Sota.

RK: Maybe he's using the Bitch Sox radar gun

RK: I remember in 2003 they had Colon hitting 103 in the 8th inning

RK: I was all "o rly?"

WV: Quick inning. The White Russians are piling up eh?

RK: I'm telling you the truth. And I'm nursing my second


WV: The moniker "Tell Grads It's Friday" doesn't apply to you, does it?

RK: Wow do I have no idea what you're talking about... oh wait, Guy Fieri just whispered it into my ear

RK: I dunno about all that, but let me tell you the importance of having all your Star Roads open. It makes getting to the Top Secret Area on Donut Island easier

WV: I'm gonna need Guy Fieri to hop a plane to SFO and decipher that for me.

RK: It takes a Super Mario World connoisseur, and I don't mean that N64 shit


WV: Liriano, as long as he wins, can pitch how he wants. But he needs to toss the Josh Beckett-esque douchey necklace.

RK: Better than the platinum necklace he used to wear

WV: It's all about baby steps. He doesn't have a poorly trimmed goatee, so it could be worse.

RK: Or mountains of belly fat. But hey, he's getting results here, let's not forget.


WV: I'm entertained by Span's expression while awaiting a pitch. It's like you just spoke Tagalog to him.

RK: Or like he just got done asking you if Marcellus Wallace looks like a bitch

RK: Let's see if Nick Punto is feeling multi-hitty

WV: Errr, nope

WV: I feel bad sometimes that we ignore what's going on on the field, but then again, Dick and Bert are discussing radish sandwiches right now.


WV: The Yanks not only released Sexson, but demoted Melky Cabrera.

RK: It's like a slow implosion over there in the Bronx

WV: I guess when they said that "New York you make it happen", they excluded the Bronx.

WV: Uh, and Flushing.

RK: And the part of Manhattan where the MSG is.

RK: But they're also the crew that put the cru in Cruex. Man, nobody has any idea what we're talking about right now

WV: This is a "writerly" and not a "readerly" blog.

RK: Strikes, Franceesko, strikes

WV: At least he's missing down and not up.

WV: Infield defense. Wow.

RK: Oh balls

WV: Kiko did a good job of picking up Buscher though, and chances are good we'll score again on the Chief.


WV: The pride of Belle Fourche, SD puts us back up 2.

RK: Brian Buscher owes Jason Kubel a pizza

WV: Dlmon hits only singles and 3-run jacks.

RK: I'll take those

RK: Dick seems to think it was 74 pitches that Silva needed to complete a game

WV: He's wrong a lot; last inning he called LIriano "Silva" twice and was wrong on the pitch count to Jojima the entire at-bat.
23 pitches, and that's the straight dope

WV: It's tough keeping facts straight when you got radish sandwiches on your mind. The broadcast booth is like an Arby's commercial right now; with cowboy hats replaced by radishes.

RK: I don't care what anybody says, that Arby's is delicious


RK: That Everett---apple bottom jeans and boots with the fur.

WV: I just got a mental image of Adam Everett dropping it and hitting the floor

RK: Funny image for a guy who looks more like a high school chemistry teacher.

RK: SJ will surely remember Fletcher

RK: I didn't know Bon Jovi was with the Rockies

WV: Has he pitched now for every single NL team?

RK: He's had a predictably rough start over there.

WV: How's the white russian count? They're sobering you up here in the 4th inning.

RK: Yeah, I'm being all responsible and cutting it off after 3

WV: I can think of 48 million reasons as to why this is an entertaining outcome to Gordo's night.

RK: I know, right? Like, I guess we made the right decision, huh?

WV: For this evening at least, Bill Smith's free agent signings and non-signings have worked out.

RK: GilgaMeche is working his magic in Yankee Stadium

WV: Thank goodness the Royals have gotten it together after being swept by the Bitch Sox. In Happy Gilmore fashion, "Where were you on that one dipshits?"

RK: I'm rooting for them to not finish in the cellar this year. Sorry for splitting my infinitive there

WV: Like with peas, splitting infinitives has a time and a place.

RK: Tell that to Strunk and White

WV: We're starting to lose people again.

RK: Our readers believe in good grammar


RK: Whoa, Kiko made that dude look ugly

RK: Marney, I love you dearly, but the fourth is a little early to be talking no hitter, huh?

WV: Another Liriano K! For a moment, I was back in 2006 and Lebanon was under attack and Keane irritated my artistic sensibilities.

RK: And what's this about Grant Balfour? As a closer? Que!?

WV: Balfour as a closer?!? [Black hole swallows Earth]


RK: This Bismarckian and I have something in common

RK: Anybody over there in MN wanna make some radish sandwiches and cookies for Dick?

WV: So uh... Michael Phelps, huh?

RK: An Ichiro error? Well ain't that just a microcosm of the Mariners season

WV: It sure is, and to think, they could've pawned Washburn off on us.

RK: Glad we dodged that bullet


RK's computer crapped out, so I'm like Garth without Wayne. Nick Punto's fielding has to cancel out his poor hitting right? There must be a stat for that? Anyone else not lazy and mathematically inclined out there?


WV: Baseball!

RK: Yeah, looks like they had the big inning, so they're done now


"There's been no Silva lining here tonight." Touche, Marney. Touche. I see what you did there.

Haha. I was picturing Everett on the dance floor, too. Funny...I think he looks like Timone from "The Lion King." I miss so many things when I'm off on vacation.
just to let y'all know, I appreciate the Beastie Boys lyrics.
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