Monday, August 18, 2008


Too Bad the Twins Unloaded Hernandez, Our Own White Elephant


WV: Raul IbaƱez doesn't play for the A's right? I feel better about this match-up.

RK: But king of the OPS, Jack Cust, does.

WV: The A's telecast did a flashback of Frank Thomas cranking 2 dingers against us in the '06 ALDS. Little do they know, we've got a plethora of first round playoff letdowns, and I'm not going to feel bad about this one.

RK: It's true, but I take comfort in the fact that the New York Yankees are the new Twins in the sheer number of recent first round playoff disappointments


WV: Apparently Mark Ellis reads scouting reports

RK: Didn't Blackburn do this recently, perhaps vs. New York Jankees?


RK: But I gotta say, with the Rubik's Kubel in there, I like our chances for offense

WV: And we won't inflate Duchscherer's K numbers with Cargo on the bench.

RK: Every time I see Mark Ellis I think a little bit "Really, this dude plays major league beisbol?"

WV: 3 pitch strikeout? Mauer must've been up late watching the uneven bar finals.

RK: Man, my video is really lagging. Not that I mind, I have time to prepare myself for THE FUTURE


RK: That was a positively Jeterian throw by Everett

WV: And that was a Favre-ian move by Punto there, rediscovering his youth on the old ball field.

WV: That's some Fox News spin I just put there on that f-up.

RK: That was like some lawn bowling right there, rolling the ball to Everett


RK: Now how is that an error? Forgive my ignorance here, but I thought you can't assume the double play. Shouldn't that just be a fielder's choice? Oh wait, right, I forgot about Everett's error

RK: I am, as always, an idiot

WV: You merely revel in the essence of baseball qua baseball, how could you be expected to make a synthetic analytical judgment?

RK: It's true, on Kant's epistemological square, with a faulty memory to base it on, I have no way to know these things

RK: Synthetic a posteriori knowledge only works when you have the "facts"

WV: Exactly, and how can you reasonably expect to get those from

WV: This strike zone is.....forgiving.

RK: Oh dear

RK: I don't like Duchscherer. I'll tell you why: growing up, and I don't know if you remember this, at the local church (we were raised Cat-lick) there was a priest named Father Duchscherer who was kind of a smarmy jerk. so I don't like the name

WV: Yeah, that guy was a smarmy jerk. And now that I think about it--he was merely a parish priest at a small, declining church in the middle of North Dakota. So what gives?


RK: Well, at least the mighty Mariners have jumped up Buerhlesherles ass

WV: And I think Buscher might have just jumped up Everett's ass concomitantly.

RK: Bert to Coom: "And you're built a lot like Buscher" Brian, this aggression should not stand

WV: Bert Blyleven, self-described Hugenot, whatever that means.

RK: I'm a self-proplled Peugot myself

WV: How many pitches has the dread pirate Blackburn thrown here?

RK: Not many it seems. Maybe Everett's arm was magically made stronger after crashing into the turf, like in Rookie of the Year.

WV: Did he just say "funky butt-loving?"


RK: Didn't Eric Chavez unionize field laborers?

WV: Alright, he's thrown that cut fast ball right over the middle of the plate on every 2-0 count, so let's get with it boys.

WV: Sweet he's coming out.

RK: So you're saying there's a chance!

WV: And really, any pitcher whose lastname is phonetically similar to "Sars" gives us a fairly high chance of winning.

WV: And this is a legit injury. It's not like the Chief who succumbs to mysterious stomach ailments and triceps tendinitis when he's pitching terribly.




WV is off to get some groceries from his local grocer, so you've just got me for now, suckers!

Boy, you would never think the A's have lost 20 of their past 24 games or whatever true fact I just made up there.


Doot doo doo


I would vote for Bert as president of anything, and I bet you would too

Oh man I thought that was going to drop for Everett, and here's where I'd make a joke about how the only things that get dropped are his weak throws to first, but that's almost toooo easy.

This is not a good time for Offensivefutility guys, the Bitch Sox are ahead!


Hahaha, oh everybody is throwing the ball all over the field and how come the boys don't like staying in first place?


WV: Bitch Sox now up 5, nice to see that Seattle waited a few innings before reverting to form.

RK: They're just doing the opposite of what they did with us

RK: Silver lining, it looks like Blackburn will at least get through 7

WV: Dlmon Young 0-2? You've got to be joking!

RK: And he even struck out to round out the amazement.

WV: Not a terrible outing by Blackburn, he could even go 8 with only 91 pitches.

RK: Yeah, at the very least the bullpen's getting a rest here

WV: Well, with Cy Young and Sandy Koufax out of the game maybe we can score a run.

RK: Now that would be a good facebook app: What Pitcher Are You? I'd be Jeff Weaver - early signs of brilliance and a steady stream of disappointment thereafter

WV: Haha. I'd be Wakefield; a deceptive slowness that's wildly unpredictable.

RK: This is one of those situations where you can't believe that the guy's gonna strike out, right? except he did

WV: Hey Harris has 6 dingers - he's due

RK: Well what the hell

WV: Sigh.


RK: Buh Buh Wha?

RK: I haven't seen the A's throw the ball in the dugout since game four of the 2002 ALDS when Tejada did it

WV: Up until right now this game was about as much fun as a conference on the color beige


WV: That had to be one of Dlmon's most pathetic at-bats of the season.

RK: Jesus, I hate the Delmon "Swing at Everything" show. Ziegler could have thrown that to Stearns County and Young would have swung.

WV: Harris is due right?

RK: I thought so last time. That would sure make my night

WV: Doesn't look like Harris wants to swing

RK: Like his job security, the plate apparently needs no protecting.

WV: You could tell he wasn't going to swing. Deflating loss and so on and so forth.

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