Wednesday, September 24, 2008
6 Solid Innings
PREGAME
Bert thinks the dread pirate Blackburn will go 6 strong innings. Here's hoping to more!
Dick tries to build suspense by making us wonder if Kubel will be in the lineup today. Kind of a no-brainer, but hey, one quick look at gameday says he is indeed in. Awesome.
I'm kinda dragging a little bit tonight, folks. I ordinarily don't like to drink caffeine at night, because I am how you say old. But perhaps this is worth it. Then again, just thinking of the possibilities of getting to Mark Buerlehhserrueuerhle (1-2 5+ ERA vs. MNTWINS) get my motor going.
So to speak.
Once again, if you want to participate, email me. If you already emailed me, you know my AIM screen name. Let's both rock AND roll!
TOP 1ST
Hehehehe, they showed the AJ "Mr Owl!" Pierzynski clip. Heeheehee
RK: Not the most auspicious start for the dread pirate Blackburn
SS: Aaargh
RK: I can haz dbl play?... God I love being right.
SS: he's just lowering the bar a bit so that when he pitches 6 shut out innings it will be even more masterful
RK: Yeah, he'll get better as he settles down from the excitement of the big start. Exactly. And that's how it's done
SS: I think it's ironic that his last start was on International Talk Like a Pirate Day
RK: You're a font of knowledge. It's things like that I wish I had known
BOTTOM 1ST
RK: I feel good feelings here. Take notes, Cargo, that's what a leadoff man does
SS: I know it's late in the season, but I'm officially naming Span my back-up boyfriend. I've had a boyfriend void since Neshie got hurt.
RK: The Stone Cold Killer is a good choice. Hell yes little Sandcastle
SS: damn straight the Bitch Sox aren't as fast as we are, Bert. They should change their name to the Lead Sox
RK: The Chinese Toy Factory Sox!
SS: ha, now I'm imagining Nick Swisher chained to a table putting stuffing into Tickle Me Elmo dolls
RK: Em Vee Pee needs to go to work... Errrr, ok
SS: wow, your feed is way ahead of mine
RK: Yes, I can inform you from THE FUTURE
RK: This joke is already really stale, which just proves its truth: Delmon Young swings at the first pitch. Blows my mind
TOP 2ND, TWINS UP 1
RK: Uh, that pitch to Thome was a strike in any way, shape, and form
SS: this is just setting up another shot at a DP
RK: I look at that little red dot on second base, and I seethe. He should not be there
SS: scoreboard alert: KC is up 9-0 on Detroit! If I want only two things from this division, it's for the Twins to win it, and for the Royals not to be in last place.
RK: I agree. I'm totes rooting for the Royale with Cheeses until Friday. Also, that should have been the third out, instead the game is tied. Stupid umpire. Who is that behind the plate? Bad call, Alfonso Marquez
SS: grr, at least there are two outs now
RK: Gaaaah none of this should be happening!
SS: deep breaths, everybody stay calm.
RK: Bert mentioned the sideburns! I'm not the only one who sees the similarities between Mauer and Bburn! GAAAAAH
SS: Sideburn's aren't quite as nice though
RK: Oh thank the baseball gods
SS: I love me some reassurance from the future
RK: It's brilliant, isn't it? I'm almost jealous
BOTTOM 2ND, TIED AT 1
RK: Holy shit, Ron Coomer is wearing a tie; this is surely an important game
SS: what, no Telly? wow, now my feed is jumping forward in time. How did Harris get on base?
RK: Infield hit
SS: sweet. I always wonder why announcers are so reverent about players who like to get dirty. isn't that one of the main points of the game?
RK: Right, I mean like, is there anybody who won't slide? It's not like they do their own laundry
SS: I slid every chance I had when I played softball--whether I needed to or not
RK: Your boyfriend comes through! And Pinko chug-chug-chugs home
SS: Yay! Span reminds me of someone. I'm thinking the Daily Show's Wyatt Cenac but I'm not sure.
RK: That's not bad! Oh Ozzie, bitch bitch
RK: This game is unfolding more or less beautifully. Like a piece of art ushering in the aesthetic dimension, I am liberated from the fetid reality of my everyday life
SS: Word
RK: Marcuse would be pissed that I appropriate that idea to a baseball game. But whatever, he's dead... He's going to walk Mauer! Or let him drive in another run!
SS: has anyone ever seen Joe stressed or worried? I swear he must be the calmest person I've ever seen
RK: We do have some cool cats, to be sure. 3-1 lead after 2? I'll take that
TOP 3RD, CWS 1 MIN 3
SS: whew, I'm starting to calm down a little myself. this has been quite the game so far
RK: Right, and you think "boy, too bad they didn't get more off of him," but damn, we are absolutely getting to Buerhle tonight
SS: yeah, I would have liked a lot of runs, but a few is better than none.
RK: Absolutely. If Bburn can settle down a little bit, which he should because THE POWER OF SIDEBURNS COMPELS YOU
RK: Harris Teeter with a Web Gem! Y'all have Harris Teeters out there in HuskerNation?
SS: no, no idea what that is
RK: It's a pretty sweet grocery store chain. I was going to roadtrip to Lincoln this weekend for the big game and to see my parents, but alas, my responsibilities keep me tethered here
SS: oh yes, how could I have forgotten for 1 second about the big game. Too bad you couldn't come, I could have showed you around town
RK: More than my party people parents! I think not! ok probably last time we were in Lincoln we went to the zoo
SS: Zoo Bar?
RK: Nope, the children's zoo. Fun times with the neice
RK: Sure you don't want to call that a ball blue? I mean, last time you did, oh, oh, Thome voluntarily sat down because he is a bitch
BOTTOM 3RD, SAME
RK: Oh, Telly is here, stumbling through his lines
SS: I see. well, next time you're in town let me know and I'll take you to the other Zoo. It's our live blues bar.
SS: do we have Marny too, just to round out the cast?
RK: No word, but wait until the lottery ticket giveaway
RK: COREY KOSKIE IN THE BOOTH?! I may have squealed when I heard that
SS: woo! maybe they can find Dougie somewhere and I'll really feel like I'm in college again
RK: You know what would do it for me? Guys like Rick Reed, Matt Lawton, and oh, what the hell, Tony Fiore
RK: Surprise bunt from Punto DO IT
SS: I'm so jealous of the people there watching the game right now. I saw the Twins play twice this season, neither on in MN
RK: I only got to watch the Nationals, which is... not fun
SS: the last game I saw was the Twins in Seattle, the one where we let them score 10 runs in one inning. talk about not fun
RK: Well... at least Cargo turned the lineup over... for the next inning
TOP 4TH, SAME
RK: Corey's looking pretty good. He said "out" and it was all Canadian and cute
SS: this is enjoyable. I miss Koskie
RK: At what point do the Bitch Sox publicly say they regret trading for Griffey? After the season?
SS: My token Bitch Sox fan friend has stated his disapproval on facebook, so it can't be long now
RK: I spoke too soon
SS: ugh
RK: Oh, I was kinda hoping for the Blackburn of June tonight
RK: Oh good lord what is happening not again not again not again
DK: I see we be winning
SS: For the time being
RK: Not for much longer!
SS: Boof looks like he's putting weight back on
RK: Good, he was effective when he was fat
SS: Reyes must be sharing some of the KFC with him
RK: Not a very good rundown there, Gardy is displeased
SS: Pickle!
DK: Oh well, Nikolai pitches out of it
RK: Wow, we have 2 futures going on here. DK is in the realtime future, and SS's game feed is lagging behind mine and seriously, there's a baseball tesseract going on here
BOTTOM 4TH, BITCH SOX 2 MNTWINS 3
DK: RK, you're just not thinking 4th dimensionally!
SS: wow, that guy is lucky he did not catch the ball, otherwise the fans around him would have murdered him
RK: There's an ant on a string and a unicorn, and all Charles Wallace can taste is sand. That's all I know. Yes, Twins fans need to know better
SS: does this mean the DK is in the distant future? are robotic beings ruling the world?
RK: THE YEAR 2000
DK: no robotic beings
SS: good, so the humans are not dead
DK: North Dakota doesn't have any robots...not since Travis Hafner left
RK: Or... since I left?
DK: that works too
SS: If only KK could send us texts from the game. That would blow our minds
RK: We would indeed have all angles covered
TOP 5TH, SAME
RK: I was kinda hoping this would be the inning that the boys shut Buerhle's motherboarding system down
SS: as long as Sideburn continues to do the Robo-boogie, we'll be cool
RK: Homer Blanky? WANT
SS: ooh! though that looked homemade. must find someone who can knit.
RK: Damn blast hell and spite
TB: Booyah. More awesome sauce poured on by the Twins defense
DK: I can has dbl play? kthxbai!
RK: I love the future
SS: "bases empty for Thome" is music to my ears
RK: Like Samuel Adams, bases empty for Thome is always a good decision
TB: There are more standing ovations this week than there are at the State of the Union...at least...the ones I've seen lately.
RK: Dread Pirate Blackburn, you're killing me here
SS: if you're going to walk him, why don't you just hit him and save the pitch count
DK: no kidding
TB: Now that wouldn't be very nice
RK: Well it's his last inning, right?
DK: in fact, hit him - we still haven't gotten revenge for that whole bat to Global Warming's head incident last year
RK: Hm, good point
DK: Nikolai in line for the win
TB: And Blackburn makes another jam walk the plank
BOTTOM 5TH, SAME
SS: whew, so far so good
RK: I could use a couple of insurance runs for my peace of mind though
DK: ever wonder what would happen if umps could just tap catchers on the shoulder when they try and frame pitches? "I'm not calling it...you can throw it back now..."
RK: I can tell you from my experience umping, I just gently say "throw it back"
DK: I can tell you from my experience umping, passed balls that hit your feet hurt *glares at TB*
TB: Hey now. Control is not part of the equation when it comes to 8th grade pitching
RK: I feel like old wounds are being opened. That's good
TB: To be honest I don't even remember anything of the sort. I was young and restless and a very bad pitcher.
RK: This strike zone is more shape-shifting than Rebecca Romijn in an X-Men film
DK: sounds like Mark Buerhle
SS: Bert is obviously answering the AFLAC trivia in a time delay, too
RK: Guarantees 100% accuracy
DK: death by 6-4-3
TB: At least it won't inflate the LOB totals
DK: Delmon 2-3 I love how our outfielders wait till the last week to start hitting (see Gomez, Carlos)
TB: Gd by Dlmn
TB: Note to Gardy: Harris hits like Pinko if you make him play twice a month.
RK: Well that's not going to do it. I don't like 1-run leads
DK: hark! a newcomer
RK: Yeah, it's like when a new challenger comes in when you're playing Street Fighter II on your Sega Genesis
SS: SJ!
SJ: Hey hey
SS: What dimension are you experiencing the game in tonight?
SJ: Old school radio
DK: You and me both, SJ
SJ: i feel like i'm using a sega genesis right now for a computer
TB: That wouldn't be all bad
SJ: ooo -- breslow pitching
RK: He went to Yale, did you know that? I bet it get mentioned in the next five minutes
SS: was just about to say something similar, RK
RK: And he has a degree in biochemical engineering, so if the baseball thing doesn't work out it'll be ok! A ha a ha haha
TB: Yeah, he's just doing this to pay off his loans.
DK: biochemical engineering...that sounds dangerously like "steroid production"
SJ: yeah it does
RK: Whoa, hey now. Maybe Juan Rincon went to Yale?
SJ: ahhh...i love the chorus of boo's for AJ
DK: "AJ, Former Twin..." wow...there's something I didn't know - thanks Dazzle
RK: But did you know he can turn his head all the way around like all the other owls?
SJ: So what are the odds that AJ gets attacked by a bear while he's hunting one?
DK: y'know, I like this whole not-sucking badly phase the bullpen's in now
DK: they need to keep that up through like...oh...October 18th or so
TB: The bear probably would want to eat his honey-colored hair
RK: They have the Dome magic
BOTTOM 6TH, SAME
RK: Whoops, refreshed my mosaic and now Punto is out. Sorry, LNP
RK: Buh. Chigabuh... why, Gomer, why?
TB: So any idea what the record for bunt-on-two-strike strikeouts is? Gomez definitely is challenging that.
SJ: Wow -- I blinked and missed this half of the inning...
TOP 7TH, SAME
DK: BOOOOOF
TB: Oh drat, Boof and stuff
RK: (B)Oof
SJ: I remember when I claimed Boof as one of my new boyfriends at the beginning of the season...I had one helluva hangover the next day..
RK: You wake up, look over and think, how did I get stuck with this guy? I'm kidding SJ, you're a saint
TB: I can just tell Gardy's mumbling to himself "Oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my Go-ahhhhh!" much like the manager in Rookie of the Year
SJ: Haha
RK: I think you'll see Boof challenging for a starting job next year
SJ: Did they just say this could give Boof some attitude?
TB: We'll see about that.
DK: look at that - a comebacker. Lending credence to my theory!
DK: Boof = small planet = gravitational pull = increase in comebackers, to paraphrase 
RK: Hey, that sounds like physics. I believe!
DK: though that single just blew a hole in that argument *mutter*
TB: Well at first contact it was a homerun, but the net effect made it drop in front of Dlmn
RK: Don't you hate it when Dick makes a call for the wrong team? Like, did you know J-Dye is due?
DK: Jermaine Dye 0 for 7 in this series makes me happy
SJ: It's almost feeding time for Boof -- they've got pitchers warming up
DK: I see someone finally told Gordo how to pronounce Latin last names...at least he didn't say My-har-ees
SJ: BOOOOOOOOF is really excited cuz he gets to eat now
TB: He's missing the roll of the tongue.
RK: One step at a time. One step at a time. Does he still say Ray-Moan! Yes, Bert! BOOOOOF indeed!
BOTTOM 7TH, SAME
DK: at least he didn't say Lye-van, though I suspect it was hard to concentrate on saying Bon Jovi's name amongst the expletives
SJ: I wonder what Ray-Moan is up to these days?
DK: apparently, Livan on a prayer's ERA finally dropped below 10.00 in the NL
TB: Tends to happen when you play the Padres
RK: Raymoan is playing in minor league Buffalo
SJ: Wow, I bet that's a confidence booster for him
TB: ...and the sandcastle washed away
RK: Bloop and a blast here. I feel it in my baseball bones
TB: Bloop...."Aw...blast."
RK: I should make my desires more specific
DK: Well, there's another bloop
TB: the Mike Victor Papa bloops one for ya
DK: However you want to slice it
RK: I'll take Kubel at the plate any day
DK: w00t for Jim Thome leading off an inning, at least there can't be baserunners that way
RK: Is the inning over? Man is my feed slow
TB: Ye are looking too far ahead, ain't over as far as I can tell
DK: no, but Gordo just said a hail mary about the whole Thome batting with bases empty
SJ: Yeah he did
TB: unless Kubel is the entertainment between innings.
WV: Boy, if ever there was an appropriate time for using a "your Mom is..." line.
DK: Nice throw there AJ! *points madly to el beisbol* runners moving around los beisos!!
SJ: He must of thought he was bear hunting
TB: Gomez woulda been in the dugout by now
RK: Ha, right, on a slide into third
TB: Ok, now we can worry about Thome
DK: Twins on a mission to leave the population of Grand Forks, ND on the bases tonight
RK: Well shit
TOP 8TH, SAME
WV: My stars, we're putting in Mijares.
SJ: I don't know if he's warmed up enough...
RK: Mijares of the 1.50 ERA? Wow
WV: Well, there is a lefty up right
RK: True. And then you call on Crain I suppose
TB: True, granted the lefty's of the Thome variety
SJ: Whoa - we flashed back, it's the 23rd of September? Old age is creeping up to somebody..
RK: Surprise! You get to do it all over again
DK: What was I saying at lunch today TB? You can never have too many hard throwing lefties not named JC Romero
TB: Apparently not.
WV: Leaving Mijares in huh?
RK: I like it
TB: May as well
TB: Two outs. Fact.
RK: I believe!
SJ: "Mijares has ice water in his veins"
WV: I, doubting Thomas, take my word back. Until something bad happens.
TB: Woo Mijares!
DK: Mijares FTW
SJ: Somebody get Mijares a burrito!
RK: Reyes is on it
TB: Morneau is no sieve. Now for insurance. The one you really need to have.
BOTTOM 8TH, SAME
DK: RUN DLMON RUN!
RK: I keep having to renew my feed, probably because a lot of people are watching this game and it is giving me anger salad something fierce
TB: Way to go Brendan.
RK: God dammit I want to watch the game. I blame Comcast, SW VA and the entire Eastern Seaboard
DK: bring on Twitch 'n Pitch!
SJ: Twitch 'n Pitch!
DK: obligatory baserunner?
TB: For sure, DK, for sure
TOP 9TH, SAME
WV: Gomez says, " Jesus, I like him very much, but he no help with curveball. ..... "
WV: And yes, Neverhit is Roger Dorn in my mythology.
RK: Span is Willie Mays Hayes!
SJ: Wild Thing is played by..??
DK: Crain!
RK: Word
DK: I can't hear Gordo over the Dome crowd
RK: That's probably OK
WV: I guess swinging wildly at breaking balls is a Caribbean thing.
RK: I uh, kinda hurt my ankle nervously pacing around my apartment. Yep
WV: And the synergy with the DQ FlameThrower ad behind home plate is capitalism at its finest.
DK: so Sinn Fein was Caribbean?
WV: Ha!
TB: Hey they're showing the crowd. Where's Karleeeee
WV: Sinn Fein definitely had a predilection for plantains and johnny cakes.
SJ: I like how we just got the play-by-play on Nathan's breathing there over el radio
SS: I'm anxiously awaiting word from the future whether Alexi #2 gets out or not
TB: More fouls
WV: Nathan hasn't thrown this many pitches in an inning since Little League.
TB: One down.
RK: And 3.6 to go. OK, that one's really obscure. Sorry
SS: Yay future!
TB: Hmmmmmmmmmm. Nope, nothing.
WV: I was recently wondering what Ben Folds was up to. OK, I had to google that. But the first sentence was true.
TB: GOMEZ
SJ: Go go!
DK: Speaking of Sinn Fein, I suspect he wouldn't have caught that
WV: Agreed
SJ: That makes up for 3 strikeouts...
WV: You're absolutely right, there's no way.
RK: AJ shakes his head and says, "Yes, I am a bitch. Owls are assholes"
WV: Well, at least if we do win, it'll be by getting 2 of the biggest d-bags in baseball out.
DK: There's our obligatory baserunner
SJ: Seriously...
TB: 'sok Nathan. There's our obligatory baserunner. This is standard TB Theory.
TB: Up by one, let one on. Tie game, strike out the side. Up by two, load the bases. Or something like that.
SS: whoa, I wasn't following that that was the theory for a second and got really worried
TB: Yeah sorry. I'll stick for now to the "up by one, let one on and then strand him" theory
DK: .5 BACK
SJ: WOO!
RK: FUCK YES
DK: Thank you Blackburn for at least going the regulation amount
SS: the future is beautiful!
DK: I'll take 5 good innings
TB: I'll take a win however the hell we get it, thank you very much.
POSTGAME
WV: For pure bliss, I switched over to listen to the Hawk, but the jackass is busy praising the Twins. I hate it when he does that.
DK: hahahahahah
RK: The final refuge of a scoundrel! And by that I mean Hawk needs to stop talking to the White Sox players like they're his friends at a beer league softball game
Let's do this again tomorrow, huh? Shouldn't mess with a good thing.
.5 games back! Slowey will sit down more bitches tomorrow!
Bert thinks the dread pirate Blackburn will go 6 strong innings. Here's hoping to more!
Dick tries to build suspense by making us wonder if Kubel will be in the lineup today. Kind of a no-brainer, but hey, one quick look at gameday says he is indeed in. Awesome.
I'm kinda dragging a little bit tonight, folks. I ordinarily don't like to drink caffeine at night, because I am how you say old. But perhaps this is worth it. Then again, just thinking of the possibilities of getting to Mark Buerlehhserrueuerhle (1-2 5+ ERA vs. MNTWINS) get my motor going.
So to speak.
Once again, if you want to participate, email me. If you already emailed me, you know my AIM screen name. Let's both rock AND roll!
TOP 1ST
Hehehehe, they showed the AJ "Mr Owl!" Pierzynski clip. Heeheehee
RK: Not the most auspicious start for the dread pirate Blackburn
SS: Aaargh
RK: I can haz dbl play?... God I love being right.
SS: he's just lowering the bar a bit so that when he pitches 6 shut out innings it will be even more masterful
RK: Yeah, he'll get better as he settles down from the excitement of the big start. Exactly. And that's how it's done
SS: I think it's ironic that his last start was on International Talk Like a Pirate Day
RK: You're a font of knowledge. It's things like that I wish I had known
BOTTOM 1ST
RK: I feel good feelings here. Take notes, Cargo, that's what a leadoff man does
SS: I know it's late in the season, but I'm officially naming Span my back-up boyfriend. I've had a boyfriend void since Neshie got hurt.
RK: The Stone Cold Killer is a good choice. Hell yes little Sandcastle
SS: damn straight the Bitch Sox aren't as fast as we are, Bert. They should change their name to the Lead Sox
RK: The Chinese Toy Factory Sox!
SS: ha, now I'm imagining Nick Swisher chained to a table putting stuffing into Tickle Me Elmo dolls
RK: Em Vee Pee needs to go to work... Errrr, ok
SS: wow, your feed is way ahead of mine
RK: Yes, I can inform you from THE FUTURE
RK: This joke is already really stale, which just proves its truth: Delmon Young swings at the first pitch. Blows my mind
TOP 2ND, TWINS UP 1
RK: Uh, that pitch to Thome was a strike in any way, shape, and form
SS: this is just setting up another shot at a DP
RK: I look at that little red dot on second base, and I seethe. He should not be there
SS: scoreboard alert: KC is up 9-0 on Detroit! If I want only two things from this division, it's for the Twins to win it, and for the Royals not to be in last place.
RK: I agree. I'm totes rooting for the Royale with Cheeses until Friday. Also, that should have been the third out, instead the game is tied. Stupid umpire. Who is that behind the plate? Bad call, Alfonso Marquez
SS: grr, at least there are two outs now
RK: Gaaaah none of this should be happening!
SS: deep breaths, everybody stay calm.
RK: Bert mentioned the sideburns! I'm not the only one who sees the similarities between Mauer and Bburn! GAAAAAH
SS: Sideburn's aren't quite as nice though
RK: Oh thank the baseball gods
SS: I love me some reassurance from the future
RK: It's brilliant, isn't it? I'm almost jealous
BOTTOM 2ND, TIED AT 1
RK: Holy shit, Ron Coomer is wearing a tie; this is surely an important game
SS: what, no Telly? wow, now my feed is jumping forward in time. How did Harris get on base?
RK: Infield hit
SS: sweet. I always wonder why announcers are so reverent about players who like to get dirty. isn't that one of the main points of the game?
RK: Right, I mean like, is there anybody who won't slide? It's not like they do their own laundry
SS: I slid every chance I had when I played softball--whether I needed to or not
RK: Your boyfriend comes through! And Pinko chug-chug-chugs home
SS: Yay! Span reminds me of someone. I'm thinking the Daily Show's Wyatt Cenac but I'm not sure.
RK: That's not bad! Oh Ozzie, bitch bitch
RK: This game is unfolding more or less beautifully. Like a piece of art ushering in the aesthetic dimension, I am liberated from the fetid reality of my everyday life
SS: Word
RK: Marcuse would be pissed that I appropriate that idea to a baseball game. But whatever, he's dead... He's going to walk Mauer! Or let him drive in another run!
SS: has anyone ever seen Joe stressed or worried? I swear he must be the calmest person I've ever seen
RK: We do have some cool cats, to be sure. 3-1 lead after 2? I'll take that
TOP 3RD, CWS 1 MIN 3
SS: whew, I'm starting to calm down a little myself. this has been quite the game so far
RK: Right, and you think "boy, too bad they didn't get more off of him," but damn, we are absolutely getting to Buerhle tonight
SS: yeah, I would have liked a lot of runs, but a few is better than none.
RK: Absolutely. If Bburn can settle down a little bit, which he should because THE POWER OF SIDEBURNS COMPELS YOU
RK: Harris Teeter with a Web Gem! Y'all have Harris Teeters out there in HuskerNation?
SS: no, no idea what that is
RK: It's a pretty sweet grocery store chain. I was going to roadtrip to Lincoln this weekend for the big game and to see my parents, but alas, my responsibilities keep me tethered here
SS: oh yes, how could I have forgotten for 1 second about the big game. Too bad you couldn't come, I could have showed you around town
RK: More than my party people parents! I think not! ok probably last time we were in Lincoln we went to the zoo
SS: Zoo Bar?
RK: Nope, the children's zoo. Fun times with the neice
RK: Sure you don't want to call that a ball blue? I mean, last time you did, oh, oh, Thome voluntarily sat down because he is a bitch
BOTTOM 3RD, SAME
RK: Oh, Telly is here, stumbling through his lines
SS: I see. well, next time you're in town let me know and I'll take you to the other Zoo. It's our live blues bar.
SS: do we have Marny too, just to round out the cast?
RK: No word, but wait until the lottery ticket giveaway
RK: COREY KOSKIE IN THE BOOTH?! I may have squealed when I heard that
SS: woo! maybe they can find Dougie somewhere and I'll really feel like I'm in college again
RK: You know what would do it for me? Guys like Rick Reed, Matt Lawton, and oh, what the hell, Tony Fiore
RK: Surprise bunt from Punto DO IT
SS: I'm so jealous of the people there watching the game right now. I saw the Twins play twice this season, neither on in MN
RK: I only got to watch the Nationals, which is... not fun
SS: the last game I saw was the Twins in Seattle, the one where we let them score 10 runs in one inning. talk about not fun
RK: Well... at least Cargo turned the lineup over... for the next inning
TOP 4TH, SAME
RK: Corey's looking pretty good. He said "out" and it was all Canadian and cute
SS: this is enjoyable. I miss Koskie
RK: At what point do the Bitch Sox publicly say they regret trading for Griffey? After the season?
SS: My token Bitch Sox fan friend has stated his disapproval on facebook, so it can't be long now
RK: I spoke too soon
SS: ugh
RK: Oh, I was kinda hoping for the Blackburn of June tonight
RK: Oh good lord what is happening not again not again not again
DK: I see we be winning
SS: For the time being
RK: Not for much longer!
SS: Boof looks like he's putting weight back on
RK: Good, he was effective when he was fat
SS: Reyes must be sharing some of the KFC with him
RK: Not a very good rundown there, Gardy is displeased
SS: Pickle!
DK: Oh well, Nikolai pitches out of it
RK: Wow, we have 2 futures going on here. DK is in the realtime future, and SS's game feed is lagging behind mine and seriously, there's a baseball tesseract going on here
BOTTOM 4TH, BITCH SOX 2 MNTWINS 3
DK: RK, you're just not thinking 4th dimensionally!
SS: wow, that guy is lucky he did not catch the ball, otherwise the fans around him would have murdered him
RK: There's an ant on a string and a unicorn, and all Charles Wallace can taste is sand. That's all I know. Yes, Twins fans need to know better
SS: does this mean the DK is in the distant future? are robotic beings ruling the world?
RK: THE YEAR 2000
DK: no robotic beings
SS: good, so the humans are not dead
DK: North Dakota doesn't have any robots...not since Travis Hafner left
RK: Or... since I left?
DK: that works too
SS: If only KK could send us texts from the game. That would blow our minds
RK: We would indeed have all angles covered
TOP 5TH, SAME
RK: I was kinda hoping this would be the inning that the boys shut Buerhle's motherboarding system down
SS: as long as Sideburn continues to do the Robo-boogie, we'll be cool
RK: Homer Blanky? WANT
SS: ooh! though that looked homemade. must find someone who can knit.
RK: Damn blast hell and spite
TB: Booyah. More awesome sauce poured on by the Twins defense
DK: I can has dbl play? kthxbai!
RK: I love the future
SS: "bases empty for Thome" is music to my ears
RK: Like Samuel Adams, bases empty for Thome is always a good decision
TB: There are more standing ovations this week than there are at the State of the Union...at least...the ones I've seen lately.
RK: Dread Pirate Blackburn, you're killing me here
SS: if you're going to walk him, why don't you just hit him and save the pitch count
DK: no kidding
TB: Now that wouldn't be very nice
RK: Well it's his last inning, right?
DK: in fact, hit him - we still haven't gotten revenge for that whole bat to Global Warming's head incident last year
RK: Hm, good point
DK: Nikolai in line for the win
TB: And Blackburn makes another jam walk the plank
BOTTOM 5TH, SAME
SS: whew, so far so good
RK: I could use a couple of insurance runs for my peace of mind though
DK: ever wonder what would happen if umps could just tap catchers on the shoulder when they try and frame pitches? "I'm not calling it...you can throw it back now..."
RK: I can tell you from my experience umping, I just gently say "throw it back"
DK: I can tell you from my experience umping, passed balls that hit your feet hurt *glares at TB*
TB: Hey now. Control is not part of the equation when it comes to 8th grade pitching
RK: I feel like old wounds are being opened. That's good
TB: To be honest I don't even remember anything of the sort. I was young and restless and a very bad pitcher.
RK: This strike zone is more shape-shifting than Rebecca Romijn in an X-Men film
DK: sounds like Mark Buerhle
SS: Bert is obviously answering the AFLAC trivia in a time delay, too
RK: Guarantees 100% accuracy
DK: death by 6-4-3
TB: At least it won't inflate the LOB totals
DK: Delmon 2-3 I love how our outfielders wait till the last week to start hitting (see Gomez, Carlos)
TB: Gd by Dlmn
TB: Note to Gardy: Harris hits like Pinko if you make him play twice a month.
RK: Well that's not going to do it. I don't like 1-run leads
DK: hark! a newcomer
RK: Yeah, it's like when a new challenger comes in when you're playing Street Fighter II on your Sega Genesis
SS: SJ!
SJ: Hey hey
SS: What dimension are you experiencing the game in tonight?
SJ: Old school radio
DK: You and me both, SJ
SJ: i feel like i'm using a sega genesis right now for a computer
TB: That wouldn't be all bad
SJ: ooo -- breslow pitching
RK: He went to Yale, did you know that? I bet it get mentioned in the next five minutes
SS: was just about to say something similar, RK
RK: And he has a degree in biochemical engineering, so if the baseball thing doesn't work out it'll be ok! A ha a ha haha
TB: Yeah, he's just doing this to pay off his loans.
DK: biochemical engineering...that sounds dangerously like "steroid production"
SJ: yeah it does
RK: Whoa, hey now. Maybe Juan Rincon went to Yale?
SJ: ahhh...i love the chorus of boo's for AJ
DK: "AJ, Former Twin..." wow...there's something I didn't know - thanks Dazzle
RK: But did you know he can turn his head all the way around like all the other owls?
SJ: So what are the odds that AJ gets attacked by a bear while he's hunting one?
DK: y'know, I like this whole not-sucking badly phase the bullpen's in now
DK: they need to keep that up through like...oh...October 18th or so
TB: The bear probably would want to eat his honey-colored hair
RK: They have the Dome magic
BOTTOM 6TH, SAME
RK: Whoops, refreshed my mosaic and now Punto is out. Sorry, LNP
RK: Buh. Chigabuh... why, Gomer, why?
TB: So any idea what the record for bunt-on-two-strike strikeouts is? Gomez definitely is challenging that.
SJ: Wow -- I blinked and missed this half of the inning...
TOP 7TH, SAME
DK: BOOOOOF
TB: Oh drat, Boof and stuff
RK: (B)Oof
SJ: I remember when I claimed Boof as one of my new boyfriends at the beginning of the season...I had one helluva hangover the next day..
RK: You wake up, look over and think, how did I get stuck with this guy? I'm kidding SJ, you're a saint
TB: I can just tell Gardy's mumbling to himself "Oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my Go-ahhhhh!" much like the manager in Rookie of the Year
SJ: Haha
RK: I think you'll see Boof challenging for a starting job next year
SJ: Did they just say this could give Boof some attitude?
TB: We'll see about that.
DK: look at that - a comebacker. Lending credence to my theory!
DK: Boof = small planet = gravitational pull = increase in comebackers, to paraphrase 
RK: Hey, that sounds like physics. I believe!
DK: though that single just blew a hole in that argument *mutter*
TB: Well at first contact it was a homerun, but the net effect made it drop in front of Dlmn
RK: Don't you hate it when Dick makes a call for the wrong team? Like, did you know J-Dye is due?
DK: Jermaine Dye 0 for 7 in this series makes me happy
SJ: It's almost feeding time for Boof -- they've got pitchers warming up
DK: I see someone finally told Gordo how to pronounce Latin last names...at least he didn't say My-har-ees
SJ: BOOOOOOOOF is really excited cuz he gets to eat now
TB: He's missing the roll of the tongue.
RK: One step at a time. One step at a time. Does he still say Ray-Moan! Yes, Bert! BOOOOOF indeed!
BOTTOM 7TH, SAME
DK: at least he didn't say Lye-van, though I suspect it was hard to concentrate on saying Bon Jovi's name amongst the expletives
SJ: I wonder what Ray-Moan is up to these days?
DK: apparently, Livan on a prayer's ERA finally dropped below 10.00 in the NL
TB: Tends to happen when you play the Padres
RK: Raymoan is playing in minor league Buffalo
SJ: Wow, I bet that's a confidence booster for him
TB: ...and the sandcastle washed away
RK: Bloop and a blast here. I feel it in my baseball bones
TB: Bloop...."Aw...blast."
RK: I should make my desires more specific
DK: Well, there's another bloop
TB: the Mike Victor Papa bloops one for ya
DK: However you want to slice it
RK: I'll take Kubel at the plate any day
DK: w00t for Jim Thome leading off an inning, at least there can't be baserunners that way
RK: Is the inning over? Man is my feed slow
TB: Ye are looking too far ahead, ain't over as far as I can tell
DK: no, but Gordo just said a hail mary about the whole Thome batting with bases empty
SJ: Yeah he did
TB: unless Kubel is the entertainment between innings.
WV: Boy, if ever there was an appropriate time for using a "your Mom is..." line.
DK: Nice throw there AJ! *points madly to el beisbol* runners moving around los beisos!!
SJ: He must of thought he was bear hunting
TB: Gomez woulda been in the dugout by now
RK: Ha, right, on a slide into third
TB: Ok, now we can worry about Thome
DK: Twins on a mission to leave the population of Grand Forks, ND on the bases tonight
RK: Well shit
TOP 8TH, SAME
WV: My stars, we're putting in Mijares.
SJ: I don't know if he's warmed up enough...
RK: Mijares of the 1.50 ERA? Wow
WV: Well, there is a lefty up right
RK: True. And then you call on Crain I suppose
TB: True, granted the lefty's of the Thome variety
SJ: Whoa - we flashed back, it's the 23rd of September? Old age is creeping up to somebody..
RK: Surprise! You get to do it all over again
DK: What was I saying at lunch today TB? You can never have too many hard throwing lefties not named JC Romero
TB: Apparently not.
WV: Leaving Mijares in huh?
RK: I like it
TB: May as well
TB: Two outs. Fact.
RK: I believe!
SJ: "Mijares has ice water in his veins"
WV: I, doubting Thomas, take my word back. Until something bad happens.
TB: Woo Mijares!
DK: Mijares FTW
SJ: Somebody get Mijares a burrito!
RK: Reyes is on it
TB: Morneau is no sieve. Now for insurance. The one you really need to have.
BOTTOM 8TH, SAME
DK: RUN DLMON RUN!
RK: I keep having to renew my feed, probably because a lot of people are watching this game and it is giving me anger salad something fierce
TB: Way to go Brendan.
RK: God dammit I want to watch the game. I blame Comcast, SW VA and the entire Eastern Seaboard
DK: bring on Twitch 'n Pitch!
SJ: Twitch 'n Pitch!
DK: obligatory baserunner?
TB: For sure, DK, for sure
TOP 9TH, SAME
WV: Gomez says, " Jesus, I like him very much, but he no help with curveball. ..... "
WV: And yes, Neverhit is Roger Dorn in my mythology.
RK: Span is Willie Mays Hayes!
SJ: Wild Thing is played by..??
DK: Crain!
RK: Word
DK: I can't hear Gordo over the Dome crowd
RK: That's probably OK
WV: I guess swinging wildly at breaking balls is a Caribbean thing.
RK: I uh, kinda hurt my ankle nervously pacing around my apartment. Yep
WV: And the synergy with the DQ FlameThrower ad behind home plate is capitalism at its finest.
DK: so Sinn Fein was Caribbean?
WV: Ha!
TB: Hey they're showing the crowd. Where's Karleeeee
WV: Sinn Fein definitely had a predilection for plantains and johnny cakes.
SJ: I like how we just got the play-by-play on Nathan's breathing there over el radio
SS: I'm anxiously awaiting word from the future whether Alexi #2 gets out or not
TB: More fouls
WV: Nathan hasn't thrown this many pitches in an inning since Little League.
TB: One down.
RK: And 3.6 to go. OK, that one's really obscure. Sorry
SS: Yay future!
TB: Hmmmmmmmmmm. Nope, nothing.
WV: I was recently wondering what Ben Folds was up to. OK, I had to google that. But the first sentence was true.
TB: GOMEZ
SJ: Go go!
DK: Speaking of Sinn Fein, I suspect he wouldn't have caught that
WV: Agreed
SJ: That makes up for 3 strikeouts...
WV: You're absolutely right, there's no way.
RK: AJ shakes his head and says, "Yes, I am a bitch. Owls are assholes"
WV: Well, at least if we do win, it'll be by getting 2 of the biggest d-bags in baseball out.
DK: There's our obligatory baserunner
SJ: Seriously...
TB: 'sok Nathan. There's our obligatory baserunner. This is standard TB Theory.
TB: Up by one, let one on. Tie game, strike out the side. Up by two, load the bases. Or something like that.
SS: whoa, I wasn't following that that was the theory for a second and got really worried
TB: Yeah sorry. I'll stick for now to the "up by one, let one on and then strand him" theory
DK: .5 BACK
SJ: WOO!
RK: FUCK YES
DK: Thank you Blackburn for at least going the regulation amount
SS: the future is beautiful!
DK: I'll take 5 good innings
TB: I'll take a win however the hell we get it, thank you very much.
POSTGAME
WV: For pure bliss, I switched over to listen to the Hawk, but the jackass is busy praising the Twins. I hate it when he does that.
DK: hahahahahah
RK: The final refuge of a scoundrel! And by that I mean Hawk needs to stop talking to the White Sox players like they're his friends at a beer league softball game
Let's do this again tomorrow, huh? Shouldn't mess with a good thing.
.5 games back! Slowey will sit down more bitches tomorrow!