Tuesday, September 09, 2008


Yeah Alright


I had to take advantage of a prof's offer to fill us full of food and drink, and so that's why I'm late, and I'm just in time to see a Guillen single awesome. Anyway, I'm half in the bag. It's a good place to be.

I'm kinda afraid of Billy Butler. I don't know why. But I'm also afraid of spiders and I don't know why and I wonder what the relationship between them is


I missed that double because I'm making cookies, but yeah, good work D'nard.

Runs scored, alright, not bad. Normally, the calculus that you give up 2 outs per 1 run would come out to 9 runs a game maximum, I'll take it.

I don't know if that's true. Whatever.


OK the cookies are done, so no more excuses

Here's the thing - whenever I've had some cocktails, I become a baker. Normally I'm a good citizen and I eat well and I'm a good part of the body politic -

Wait, Bburn gave up a run to Miguel Olivo? Really?

- but when I've had a few I'm like hell yeah cookies.

Nice double play


I realize I'm not being very funny, but I had to read Edward Said, and it's a long process, like the backward Seinfeld episode that one time

Roy Smalley isn't making any damn sense, and that's why I'm ok with my mlb.tv being janky lo-fi

Whoa, that hit from Punto didn't make any sense either, but even with that hang time it still managed to drop in for a double.

Span, the Stone Cold Killer comes through and god damnit my mosaic is cutting in and out.

"There are some plays behind him that makes that mushroom even worse." NOBODY IS SAYING ANYTHING SENSICAL RIGHT NOW


RK: Casilla is sliding around there on his knees like a snowboarder

WV: Hey, the Pale Hose are losing again.

RK: Yeah, what's the best case scenario here? After tonight we could be only one game out of first place?

WV: Trey Hilman > Tom Selleck

RK: Tom Selleck > Tom Thumb > Thumbelina

WV: Bert: "All these guys are Royals, they want to compete." In tomorrow's game, they're going to mix in some Indians and Blue Jays.

RK: Bert is making less sense than usual right now and I love it


WV: When Torii sent that champagne, that was his ghetto fabulous side coming out.

RK: Because he actually tried to push the champagne to the ground

RK: And the Bitch Sox have taken the lead

WV: Mark Ritchie (is desperate)

RK: But he has a point, why wouldn't everybody do same day registration? Registering to vote in NJ was ridics

WV: It really is an arduous experience. I mean, I can ship a package to Miami same day via UPS but I can't register on site to vote? I'll be expecting that check, Mr. UPS.

RK: Ha, I don't even need a check, UPS, just please make sure my amazon orders get to me

WV: Bert's child-like awe at the most mind numbing of things is truly inspirational.

RK: Now that is a Baltimore chop. I think Bert's doing a public service, guiding the interview along - like hey man, hows about them digits?

WV: Somebody's on-base, so Buscher is due for a double here.

RK: But they're not in scoring position, so expect a weak grounder... I take my hat off to you, Mr. V.

WV: Yes, but seeing that that's only his 9th double leads me to believe it was hyperbole. But I stand by it.


RK: So I used google Chrome today, and I don't understand why it's so important - it's just another browser, right?

WV: I know right. I'll stick with Firefox, thank you. Not that Safari-freezing javascript castrating p.o.s., mind you.

RK: I tried to get into Safari, but it's just plain terrible. Hey Marney!

WV: Yeeeeeep


WV: Gomez blows off that K like water off a duck's back.

RK: He bounded backwards. I kinda liked it

RK: The azure birds have retaken the lead

WV: Excellent [in my best Monty Burns voice]

WV: We're putting off the Incredible Hulk transformation this Bannister start.

RK: It's not that I don't like Mauer's productive outs, but they're certainly not as sexy. I'll say it again, Morneau is a fuck lion. Slocum-style

WV: That's vintage Josh Morneau. Wow, Bert really has check out hasn't he. "That tops off his M..D.P. season.." Seconds after, "And that makes it 6 to 2!"

RK: I love that man. Oh dear, Paul Konerko went down with a knee injury

WV: "The lack of purpose to the fastballs" Smalley is talking about Sartrian pitching

RK: Hey, the Royals put Batman in there! I'm sorry Bruce Wayne. The one that hits his mom


WV: Roy Smalley is a phenomenologist, what can he say? Somewhere, Plato turns in his grave.

RK: Young: Statue of Liberty'd!

WV: I often wonder if Dlmon would prefer it if actual baseball resembled Wii baseball. For him, fielding is just a bother.

RK: I see why he was shading Callaspo shallow, but he didn't run a good route either

WV: Right. And let's be truthful: You always swing at the first pitch in Wii baseball.

RK: How about those unexplained errors on Wii baseball? Those remotes people throw through their TV screens is no accident


RK: Oh BBuscher leads off, so that's a quick out... I will now eat my shoe

WV: I'm left speechless, I vaguely remembered that Gomez was fast.

RK: Dude, a straight steal of home would be fantastic


RK: Let's go around the horn, and I don't mean a godawful ESPN show


RK: I wonder how Jimmy Gobble's blister is doing. Or was that Jeremy Affeldt?

WV: I'm not sure of that one.

RK: Little Sandcastle, against a 10.86 ERA, you got no excuse

WV: I'm rather fond of knee injuries right now, I have to say. I almost want to go out and tear a ligament.

RK: You could park right in front of the Cub Foods


WV: This seems like the sort of game where Jason Pridie would make an appearance.

RK: I agree

WV: Real shame about Konerko. Good thing they've got Griffey to fall back on...bwa ha ha

RK: And the azure birds are up 4

WV: Well, they're down to 1 home run threat now, so they pretty much know what it's like to be the Twins.

RK: My Twins feed just stopped so yep

WV: Well you're half in the bag, so why not go balls out.

RK: I've since come out of the bag though

WV: Edward Said will do that, as well.

RK: Uh huh. Sobering in the not important way

RK: Blackburn's sideburns aren't as strong. Think Joe had a talk with him?

WV: He ought to, because he's clearly been skipping his daily shavings as well. If the Royals want something to build around, Dick, they could trade for Silva. Hardy har har.

RK: Baseball!


WV: Jays have it loaded up with no outs

RK: The Kubouillon Cube is giving Wells a hard time

RK: Errr, heads up Dlmn

WV: Seriously. I'll forgive him this once.

RK: D-Mohr would have been on first

WV: He would've induced an errant throw and gone to third. Because he's so crafty.

RK: He plays with HEART

WV: He's in the Northern League now, in case you ever wondered.

RK: And I do. A lot. When I'm in bed, gazing into the abyss

WV: You can go back to worrying about Jeremy Affeldt's blister now.


WV: Marney!

RK: Marney! She's better than Erin Andrews and Dana Jacobson all rolled into one

WV: A much better dental profile.

RK: Uh, Reyes is gonna walk this guy intentionally so Casilla can try that double play over


Doobie, doobie doooooo


RK: So this game, huh?

WV: Yeeeep. It's games like these that Bert's value is truly apparent.

WV: It'd be beautiful if the Azure Birds could not blow this, m k?

RK: Yeah, that would really just be the capstone on this beautiful day

WV: I feel another reference to Edward Said coming on.

RK: Did you know culture is a product and reading books can offer glimpses of that culture?

WV: You don't say?



best day ever! I want to know the last time someone was able to gain a game and a half in the span of like 12 hours. So glad that Toronto decided to keep kicking ass after they got through with us.
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