Monday, April 06, 2009


Let's Get Restarted In Here


RK: They've been saving up years to start at the new field

WV: For the record, it's currently 43 degrees in Minneapolis.

RK: I hear from live correspondent KK that Carlos Silva was booed

WV: Well, that's better than being jumped by a mass mob of snarly Woebegoners

WV: Dlmn starts the season on the bench, I'm going to long for the hard hit grounders to second base.

DK: Alas...I'm going to long for the absence of all vowels from my speech

WV: Vwls rly arnt ncssry

DK: they're wearing 1982 throwbacks...those look best on the radio I hear

WV: I'll be expecting Mickey Hatcher and Roy Smalley to sub in.


WV: That awful screeching sound was Mike Sweeney's hip creeking as he approached the batter's box

DK: This at-bat brought to you by the letter K

WV: Not a bad start. Whatever happens, we can take solace in the fact that The Franchise makes a lot less money than SeeSee

DK: Captain Cheezburger did not adjust well to the Yanqui uniform today


WV: I bet Target Field can't snag its grass around an opposing pitcher's ankle!

DK: Turf 1, Seattle 0

WV: This is the Dome's way of reasserting its relevance.

DK: i'm going to cross my fingers and hope they put in Silva

WV: Kubel can consider this a mulligan.

WV: Team trainers must all shop at the same Kohls. The knakis and white polos are all the rage there, I hear.

DK: I'm trying to figure out how an opposing pitcher getting an ankle injury elicits the dome PA blasting out "Working at the Carwash"

WV: OK then, I guess the ankle's a non-issue.


DK: New year, we must get Beltre out

WV: OK: Baggy 1, Beltre 0. Trying to put a positive spin on this.

WV: Ken Grffey in a Mariners uni! Holy crap, I just flashed back a decade.

DK: The 1982 uniforms don't help with that

DK: We're going to party like it's 1989!

WV: Someone quick! Send some syringes to Jay Buhner!

DK: Next you're going to see Randy Johnson, '80s metal haircut intact, striding out of the bullpen

WV: And alas, just like for most of 1982, we're losing.


DK: Crede 0-1 as a Twin in rather short order

DK: Cargo, of course, taking in the fresh aroma of 2009-era bat

WV: We might need the turn to do us some more favors. Maybe next time break Hernandez's leg

DK: prediction: Redmond will try to go the other way

DK: or just strike out looking


DK: I'm tearing up - birthday tribute to Bert on FSN showing the WBC triumph over the DR

WV: Next year it'll be a HOF induction!

DK: we can only hope

WV: With the red caps, the Twins bear a strong resemblance to candy canes.

DK: Should I be praying for a Christmas deliverance of runs then?

WV: I know that the D.R., a small island nation, closely resembles Venezuela, a sizable South American country, but I think the Seattle duo needs to stop referring to Liriano as Santana's countryman.

DK: *shrug* 2nd-rate team commands 3rd-rate broadcasting I guess

WV: Then again, maybe Hugo Chavez invaded the D.R. when I wasn't looking.


WV: LNP and I share a similar approach to facing Hernandez: Close your eyes and hope for a walk.

DK: Apparently

WV: Nothing wrong with a little small ball here and there

WV: It obviously helps when you have a singles machine like Mauer hitting behind you.


DK: ok...we'll call that a long sac bunt. positive spin 'n all

WV: I exclaim Beltre like Jerry Seinfeld does "Newman"


WV: Stacey: MLB Extra Innings has a free preview this week, so I'm camped out there. But your plight sounds uniquely modernist.

DK: KK's at the dome? Can't we get her to aim a laser pointer at Felix at opportune moments?

WV: You know, beyond that one bad pitch to Beltre, Liriano hasn't been half bad. And I think the laser pointer is a great idea.


WV: Just keep repeating to yourself that Crede was an all star last year.....

WV: And pay no mind to the fact that Ron Coomer was also once an "all star"

DK: Beltre's been an all-star too

DK: Difference is, he's playing like one

WV: -----> Dome throws up hands and exclaims, 'Come on guys, I'm running out of tricks!'


WV: EMH: I've had the same problem, but it only seems to regurgitate the Flash download when I'm using Safari but works fine with Firefox.


WV: 1990: Ken Griffey Jr. hits an opening day homerun off of Bert. Go ahead, use it to impress your friends.

WV: Crap.

DK: Griffey 1, Baggie 0

DK: Redmond still getting abused by hitters

Wv: Holy splintered bats, Batman. You can poke an eye out with that sort of thing!

DK: Dick: "Redmond usually takes one of those or worse at least once a game"

WV: Sometimes, the opposing bench coach fires a blow dart through his aorta


DK: I'm admiring Griffey's 3-hop throw to the cutoff man

WV: And his sorry excuse for range

DK: Span, time to be a fucklion

WV: Leodenardo ought to put his bo shaft to good use here.

DK: Tonight ladies and gentlemen, we spell OPS S-P-A-N.

DK: Cuddy needs to not get the silver sombrero here

WV: OK Dimples - you're on the road back to our good graces.

DK: I'll take solace in that we're not going to get shut out. Bases loaded for Morneau

WV: Ugh


TOP 6TH, M's 2, Twins 1

WV: Hey, Roy Smalley really is there wearing a jersey.

DK: fact: Dlmn wld'v mssd tht

WV: Oh yeah, no question.

DK: we have angered the Turf

WV: That was not Sandcastle at his most graceful moment.

WV: Whatever happens tonight, we blame the unis.

WV: 2-run tater. Barf.

DK: I blame the unis

7TH, M'S 4, TWINS 1

DK: 2009: An assbat odyssey. that's about what it's looking like


WV: Luis Ayala is here to ably step into Bass's mop up role.

DK: the Turf hates us

DK: Sandcastle is getting washed away

WV: There's no greater fury than a Dome scorned.

DK: 4-6-3 FTW



Sit down, Sweeny!
yay baseball! looks like I'm a little late to the party, but luckily a 1 run deficit is still manageable.
am I the only one stuck watching MLB's Gameday? I'm officially nicknaming it the Hodgman--it's getting to be more information than I require.
I miss the old gameday. Didn't it already have plenty of info? I love stats and all, but seriously... do we need to know Joe Crede's Mother's favorite flavor of ice cream?
my favorite thing about the new Gameday is that it tells me Justin "loves to face" a four-seamer, and that he "hates to face" a four-seamer as well.
Stacey - you have it better than me tonight... Evidently both Gameday and MLB Audio need the newest Flash Player to run. And my computer seems to be allergic to downloading it.
It's rally time!
Yay, cuddy!
So, after downloading Firefox and trying to download Flash again, I can now get MLB audio through that application... Thank you WV.
for those of you with video capabilities, can you tell me whether Sweeney is wearing a "C" or not? I've always thought that was weird when he was at KC, not sure if the Ms agree with me or not.
now, now, DK. Punto was batting 1.000 earlier in the game, so there's obviously hope for the bats. That, or someone is playing a very cruel joke on us.

I see no "C" on Sweeney.
thanks for the report, k-bro. maybe they're going to make him earn it, which given his performance today, should be sometime in the next 10 years or so.
fuck you ken griffey jr. i hate MN fans cheering for him because he is like "good" or something.
...... pft.
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