Wednesday, April 08, 2009


The Slowey Foods Movement


RK and I are going to go off on what seems like an obfuscate and senseless digression - but bear with us, it ends up at Carlos Silva. But mostly, it's a moo cow!

RK: To understand baseball is to understand that the game played is not baseball as such. Let me be clear: baseball qua baseball (the theoretical foundation of this blog) is the noumena of baseball, but thing in esse
The game played is but a representation of various nodal points in the myriad contingencies and infinite possibilities of this noumena: in effect, the game played is the phenomenological understanding

WV: The interesting part of this myriad network of contingencies is that the whole phenomenon is bounded, like a non-neurotic id, by a system of rules and boundaries. By being subjected to an order, one can think of a baseball subject.

RK: That's right, this is the finite infiniteness. Nothing exists - the noumena after all only exists in that we observe phenomena - but once the ball leaves the pitcher's hand, the universe can start. From that single node, necessarily

WV: True. In the sense that what we're observing is a "subject", there is introduced a sense of otherness, and also an ethics. Meaning, there is a right and a wrong way to cognitively analyze the game.

RK: And since we're not part of the game, we're others othering, opening up (I can't believe I'm referring to Derrida again) infinite ethics. And the ethics are simple: the game comes into us, and flows through us, and out of us. The way of watching, enjoying and analyzing it are many and varied - but there is also a correct and incorrect way to do this. The correct way is to revel. Revel in improbably comebacks, in hitters making good, in pitchers throwing strikes, and in Carlos Silva's specialty: the Sinker That Doesn't Sink

WV: Like I said, a moo cow.


WV: "FS Twins": The team that pumps gas for you.

RK: Fox Sports is always already localizing their coverage. From Fox Sports to Fox Sports North to Fox Sports Twins

WV: Jose Morales is hoping this thing wraps up before his curfiew, lest his parents ground him.

RK: Yeah, he's younger than some of the students I have


WV: "15-Game Loser", with emphasis on the end of the phrase.

RK: I feel like Silva has no business recording an out - this has raised my expectations to titanic heights

TB: Sandcastle needs no stinkin' second pitch

WV: If things get dull, let's break down how much Silva is making per pitch.

RK: Maybe it's the uniforms but I don't notice 30-35 lb losses/gains. Maybe I just have an enlightened concept of body image

TB: Oh yeah, home runs do occur in baseball. Fascinating.........Like that.

WV: Nice that that occurs while Bert's talking about Silva "making things happen".....touché, Mr. Blyleven.

RK: Morneau is taking the dome roof down one ball puncture at a time

WV: With all these shots to right field, I have this nagging desire to purchase power tools....but I just can't think of where I can do it.....oh what's the name of that place...Hanley's? Stanky's? Oh, I'll just never remember.

RK: Sharkey's Wrench Emporium and Trade Expo Center. Pretty sure about that. 100 bucks


WV: Why this game is fit to be tied.

RK: Silva, thou art loosed!

WV: I think the M's have figured out that Slowey throws strikes.

TB: It's a good thing they got rid of Ibanez or else we'd really be in trouble

RK: I believe there will be a timely GIDP. Then again, I believe in a lot of things that don't happen

TB: Slowey should probably just grow a goatee and complete the Radke-esqueness

WV: Rattled, ruffled. Dick, I see your confusion. One connotes a snake, the other a grouse. On one hand you're being threatened, on the other your threatening. It's ok. I can also speak in antithesis.

RK: The dialectic is, after all, according to David Harvey, how we naturally think

WV: On that plane, Slowey should start envisioning lazy fly balls.

RK: Slowing time would open up space

WV: See: This is the dialectic. That space was necessary so that Silva could pitch.


RK: I have a good feeling the Span is gonna just cold bat a run in

WV: He'll unleash all of his fucklioness.

WV: Dick's befuddlement at Carlos staying in Minnesota during a "long miserable winter" has now alienated the entire fanbase.

RK: And there it is!

TB: Knocked that ball out. Cold.

WV: Stanley, that's it.

RK: "Explodes the bat right there" Exactly Bert

TB: I'm certain there's a rule against conventional dynamite in bats.


RK: "Span the Man?" Gimme a call Dick, I'll teach you how to nickname

TB: What's next, Crede the Sweetie?

RK: Though I'm afraid "fucklion" is probably not conducive to cable television

WV: How about "Slowey the Flowbee"

RK: Casilla the Quesadilla

TB: Punto the C-- uhh...nevermind

WV: I have to say, I miss Telly and all of his awkwardness and parapraxis.

RK: Yeah, who will Telly it like it is?

WV: Poor Telly, an innocent victim of the stranglehold of Merriam Webster's semantic hegemony.

RK: You'll be happy to know Telly now works for the Brewers

WV: Is he the guy that goes down the slide when they hit homeruns?


RK: Fan alienation continues: Bert picked Yankees to win AL Pennant. That's even worse than the alienation from my labor

TB: At least I hope he jinxed it. Personally I'm looking for the Bombers to lose 110 games


WV: Not a good trend with all these dingers.

RK: Must be the springtime Colorado air?

RK: Thank you for the update, Uncontrollable Id - but at least they have the new stadium! It doesn't matter if they never win another game!

WV: Ugh. Slowey's a brick and I'm slowly drowning.

RK: It's like he's having almost good series against hitters

WV: What on earth is happening?

RK: Yeah, where did my good feelings go?


WV: Just 1 run, it's still good, it's still good.

RK: I always hold on to hope


WV: It's not often that I prefer reading Lacan to watching baseball

RK: Yeah, my alternative is writing about Critical Discourse Analysis - which, I mean, is just the discourse analysis of Discourse Analysis, right?

WV: I suspect that that might be redundant. Just a hunch.

WV: You should just write "Discourse Analysis" onto a page and turn it in.

RK: It'd be a sealed text


(Pulling A Blyleven is experiencing technical difficulties. Please enjoy the insane ramblings of RK)

This is the inning the boys get to Silva! I know this because Span the Bran Muffin just cold coaxed a walk. Do you even know how many walks he has issued in his career? DO YOU EVEN KNOW?!

I don't either but I assume it is not many. OK here we are.

RK: Morneau straight husltin'!

WV: Now this is more like a Silva start.

RK: I love being right

WV: Right now they're explaining infinite ethics and othered otherness to Gordito on the mound.

RK: Yeah, keeping with the Kantian theme from the Pregame: Silva proves his maxim that "All bodies are extended"
Some more than others.


WV and RK: uhh...BASEBALL!


WV: Breslow went to Yale, y'know. Did you know that? Huh? Ivy League?

RK: He's a nuclear chemist astronaut!

RK: But you know, it's not art until it's been valorized

WV: Hold your tongue, Bourdieu!

RK: Hahaha, Leviathan was pointing to the wrong base. Redmond will attend to that, to be sure

WV: And Griffey can sit down.

WV: YALE! Scientists! Building things!

RK: Science! Industry! Technology!


WV: Dimples, dimples, dimples.

RK: Buh, jibbabuh, wha?

WV: If that had been Breslow on second....he would've invented nuclear fushion with the base.

RK: Cuddy looked like his mom was gonna yell at him for that. Maybe she will


RK: "The back of your bubblegum card." Well i'm intrigued

WV: What's a baseball card?

RK: I like this "Market Monday." As if we couldn't further distort the importance of the DJIA in our everyday lives

WV: The dow is directly related to my personal self esteem, even though it affects me in no way, shape or form.

Wait a second.......

False consciousness? Hmmm? Engels? Bagels?

RK: Look man, all I want is a damn number to tell me everything I need to know

WV: Imagine if we could reduce other phenomena to a number. Like, cosmopolitanism, or imperialism.

RK: Another example of how baseball is a noumena - the numbers therewith only serve fleeting phenomenological ends


WV: So this Crede guy.....

RK: I'm always one to root for the guys, but Crede has looked ugly tonight


RK: Nathan's looking sharp.

RK: And that's 200 for Joe!

WV: Our bullpen, doing it's job this season. And Slowey picks up a Livan win.

RK: And so one of the infinite possibilities of the phenomenological representations of the noumena comes to pass. And who doesn't love it when that representation puts a W in the Twins' favor?

Hiya boys!

Just wanted to share the schadenfreude: O's lead the Yankees 7-1 in the 6th. Wang imploded his way through 3 and 2/3 innings and is responsible for the carnage. Heh.
Is Twitch n Pitch going gray in the beard???
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