Wednesday, May 27, 2009


A Worrisome Prospect


I was just wondering something: do you suppose there are people out there who are fans of the Boston Red Stockings because they saw the awful Jimmy Fallon vehicle "Fever Pitch?" I hope these people don't exist. They would make me shudder.

Hat tip to k-bro for noting that who I thought was Matt Tolbert was indeed Brian Buscher. The less vision-impaired among us will note both the number "32" and the last name "Buscher." Remember how in your high school Psych class you had to try to see the details in the room for an eyewitness report but nobody remembers anything clearly so while you were proud of yourself for counting the bar stools they really wanted to know if you noticed the gallon of blood on the ground? Yeah, this is nothing like that.

But here is a fun optical illusion about how curveballs mess with your mind. But not Bobby Kielty's mind ca. 2003 when he took Barry Zito out of the yard but quick. Remember that?

Here. Click the link to launch the swf.

Oh yes, topical! Kevin Slowey is pitching, so uh, good.


Justin, you need a public speaking coach. I'll do it! I would like to be paid in cases of pounders of Premium Grain Belt beer.

FSN Techno Remix!

So - yes! I have a facebook question. A person who I barely know and haven't talked to in (literally) 10 years has friended me. I declined because I do like my facebook friends to be, y'know, people I know or people who are intensely attracted to me. But then! She friended me again. Is this persistence normal? Should I just accept it? Social networking is HARD

Meanwhile Slowey is throwing pitches all the livelong day. Yet nobody is on base. So net result is a good thing? Yes.


Hm, I understand the strategy here - Dice K will throw a lot of pitches because he's a control freak (without the commanding control) so they'll take a lot. Yet here he is throwing many strikes. Swing!

Hey it's like Street Fighter II, Hyper Fighting Championship Edition TURBO: HERE COMES A NEW BLOGGER

KK: Okie, so. Here is the deal. Nick Punto cannot be good at both things at once. Last night he had an error but got two doubles. He got an error tonights game, does this mean he will homer?

RK: Probably not, but I like the logic

KK: Me too, I wish most of my logistics would become real.

[and then a bunch of stuff happened and the two K's said stuff that wasn't particularly noteworthy. We'll try harder!]


KK: Wow Ortiz just swung and missed three times. Excuse me while I lick my TV screen.

RK: Who watches "Unwrapped?" That show is awful. Food Network should just become the Good Eats and Barefoot Contessa channel.


RK: I'll never bag on a guy for getting hits, but didn't the Twins bring Dlmn over to hit dingers?

KK: Why yes we did. But I think it doesn't matter since we have Mauer, Morneau, Kubel, Cuddyer, AND Crede for power.

RK: I'm starting to get the nagging suspicion that the Twins front office is starting to regret that trade

KK: Nick Punto doesn't play thriller for his walk on song anymore, and it depresses me. And I bet they are kind of pissed. I mean he hit em out like crazy whilst in Tampa.

RK: What is his new song? I missed it

KK: His old song from last year


KK: When I hear "shes my cherry pie" it reminds me of harris. Then I feel awkward.

RK: That song reminds me of seeing that video very early in my life and not understanding the feelings I was feeling

RK: Sneak peek at Ice Road Truckers? OLD NEWS

KK: Here is the sneak peek: the road is ice, it cracks, they make sure you know its scary as shit because they have about 10,000 mics underneath the semis so you can hear all the clunks, creaks and cracks. Most of the men who do such ice road-ings are insane. Fin.

RK: I watched Season 1 with my pops a couple years ago and that's what I came away with

KK: Bases loaded? Really? With Youkilis coming up to bat? I swear these pitchers strictly do these things in awares that they will give me upset stomachs and tension headaches and stress boners at a drop of a hat being a complete suck.

RK: 1 run wouldn't be a terrible outcome here. And so it has come to pass!


KK: Denard Span has a thyroid problem poor baby 

RK: Maybe it will turn him into a giant. Or is that pituitary?

KK: Joe Mauer does what you know he'd do

RK: Yeah, there was never a doubt, it was only a question of how

KK: I can also has a Morneau double

RK: These two young men are out their minds

KK: Yeah they are, they must have some crazy sexual tension...I mean good chemistry.

RK: Same thing

RK: Now this is the Daisuke I thought we'd see tonight

RK: Hahaha, here is a picture of Tolbert spitting

KK: Oh, I am enjoying this inning, so much I am type-less

RK: I like this reliable offense we've been having lately




RK: Man, I could use a 2-out rally here. Straight 2006 style. Punto probably wants it more than I

KK: hahahaha, yeah I bet he is bouncing around shoveling swedish fish in his mouth


The fuck lion doesn't get married, lady.

I like how Slowey Gin Fizz is not allowing many runs, but I would also like to see an inning wherein he doesn't allow a runner to get into scoring position. Also, in the mid-70s pitch count? Tsk tsk!

Which, by the way is a sound where you click your tongue behind clenched, not to be said as "tisk tisk." The sound was developed for comic strips, after all.


What is Dice-K's pitch count? 345?

2 out rally. Please. Pleasepleaseplease

I'm never satisfied. Maybe I'm just like my mother. Maybe I'm just too demanding, excuse me while I bust out my awesome Prince-inspired dance moves



Jason Bay's been kinda hot lately, and it's OK if it's a solo shot, I suppose. If Slowey stops the bleeding here it'll be not that bad - like the first inning

We who have seen David Ortiz this season completely understand this performance in the Metrodome, amirite?

Insurance runs would make me stop pacing around my apartment like a crazy person.


"And we all need more friends." Dick, you hippie!

This is apparently shaping up to be the Dick inning

"So a Boston native son facing a Minnesota native son!" Well yeah Dick, I mean everyone's from somewhere, right?

Intentional walk to get to Cuddyer? DISRESPEK

I'm not feeling good about this. And no it's nothing I ate because I had dinner 5 hours ago because I'm old.

That's how you get an RBI Cuddy - with your ribs


Point of order? Does Cuddy actually get credit for an RBI just there?

Haha point of order. If any of you dorks did Student Congress like I did, it's like a day at the dorkatorium.

Mijares is hungry and wants to get this game over with. I know I shouldn't poke fun at the heavier members of the roster, but the truth is I'm secretly jealous. I don't eat much myself, and I wish I could eat more. Then again, I'll do my best if I can get a ticket to an all you can eat seat game. Mmm. Dome dogs. What now?

I suppose Mijares will be out there again in the top of the 8th



Zaaaahm-bay-ee, zaaaahm-bay-uh-ay-uh-ay-uh

Damn you ground rules! Cargo was on his way home, sweet home! Why must you be like Circe the witch stopping Odysseus from his destination?

Wow, Gomez hit Kottaris pretty hard there. I like it. Shades of Sinn Fein!

And Span's eye is downright Mientkiewiczian! I am brimming with nostalgia. And sex appeal. Mainly nostalgia


Let it ride with Mijares! That would be a catchy slogan for some sort of motorcycle shop or eatery. Or both?

Dr. Jubal, I've been thinking about the old boys lately. Could be that Eric Milton just got a win with the Dodgers, could be that I just wish I was younger. Who knows.

Matt Gruyere, doin' work! Being delicious, aged in a cave.


Dr. Jubal, don't you dare. All of my Twins jerseys are from former players, and I intend to keep it that way. I have Guzman, Pierzynski, Santana, and oh some others who knows. They're all the way in my closet and I just don't have the gumption.


Joe Nathan looks really good tonight. That is very heartening to see.


The Twins, although there was some offensivefutility when it came to RISP, the pitching came through. Hey - Mauer can't hit a home run every game (yes he can).

Dr. Jubal makes a good point that the caps the twins wear are darker than their uniforms. Someone call Paul Lukas!

The Twins can even up the season series tomorrow and did you know Bert doesn't like all these interleague games? Even though these games are about the only reason the Twins have any hope of playoff contention?

In your defense, that guy did look too little to be Buscher.
I never thought I'd hear someone use Mientkiewicz as an adjective. Well done.
I still have a gray road jersey with 16 and Mientkiewicz on it. Been thinking of swapping it out for K-U-B-E-L, but just haven't had the heart.

Matt the Warrior with the DP ball.
Is it weird to anyone but me that the dark blue of the twins' cap and the somewhat-less-dark blue of the alternate home jersey really don't match?
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