Pulling A Blyleven

PREGAME

Here in Blacksburg, and with Slowey Gin Fizz on the mound. This whole season, every time he takes the mound, I feel good.

Also, storms are apparently brewing for Francisco Liriano. Could the bullpen be in his future?

WV is still (STILL) in school. Crazy California. He is in class right now. Let's all laugh at him.

TOP FIRST

TB's "Slow Ride" moniker is apt - the HHH Metrodome is playing the song of the same title.

"Scouting report brought to you by Bert Blyleven." Uh, duh, Bert.

"I've got the Peter Brady puberty thing going on tonight." Sometimes that happens to me when I'm teaching Dick. Did you just get over a summer cold too?

You can really hear Dick trying to like smooth his voice over a little bit so it doesn't crack. He could moonlight as a slow jazz easy listening adult deejay.

Oh you want me to talk about the game? Was there ever a doubt that he was going to get out of that jam?

BOTTOM 1ST

Oh Twingo. I can't wait to play once again. An uninspiring start, but hey! The game is moving very quickly thusfar.

TOP 2ND

Oh All-You-Can-Eat Seats, I covet you so.

Also, good to hear that thick-ass MN accent just there. "2 hat dags..."

I don't know how this is possible, but it is - the awkward silence after Bert said he was scouting out retirement homes actually lasted longer than the inning. Think about it.

BOTTOM 2ND

Good God this game is flying by. Uh, anybody been to fangraphs.com? Delmon Young is pretty much the least valuable player this year. If you computed his value in terms of dollars, he would pretty much owe the Twins his salary back.

TOP 3RD

"0 for 12 with a hooOOOOO." Wow, come on Dick, this is great, but you'd really make the Iceman's night if you let him get up in the booth for a game.

Hot damn, if I still watched "Baseball Tonight" I would say that was a Web Gem for sure. But I don't watch that anymore. Why, you ask? Because have you seen MLB Network? It's nirvana. You don't get it? Heh. Well then.

In fact, for all of the Capital One defensive plays of the game, let's just show the bottom of that inning. That was damn right Sinn Fein-esque right there.

k-bro, when I think of all you can eat seats I start to salivate and think of the mountains of onions I put on my dogs. Jeezy creezy I'm a sucker for ballpark food.

BOTTOM 3RD

2 out rally? Holy crap it's 2006 again! Oh, those were the days. Well not really. I was still in Virginia. So not much has changed. I have more books now I guess.

Span just cold stealin' that bag. But it's weird because he gets credit for a stolen base (I assume V-Mart on the throwing error?) when really, how do you justify that? I'm OK with it because it's one of the good guys, but in general it should just be a two base error. Do you not agree? Do you feel very strongly about it? Well write about it on your own damn blog. Which you have. And tweet it. Always tweeting.

Oh hooray my video player froze on me again. Awesome.

TOP 4TH, 2-0 TWINS I ASSUME

Wow, Santana took a loss.

Oooh I know the Affleck! 3 Cleveland managers to make the postseason? Wedge, Hargrove, and Phelps.

BOTTOM 4TH, SAME

Sorry, got called away - hey, Delmon's about to get out? Yeah yeah, I've turned on him.

And then he did. So I'm right.

TOP 5TH, SAME

Uh, sorry, didn't have time to really say anything just there.

BOTTOM 5TH, SAME

Is it too late to build a Joe Mauer statue at Target Field? I hope they've begun it.

Sorry, I'm just like, really popular tonight.

TOP 6TH, TWINS UP 4-0

Not only am I popular, Slowey is doing his thing

BOTTOM 6TH, SAME

So you know how in church league softball you start with a 1-1 count? We should just assume Dlmn will make an out and speed the game up like that.

And then once again, am I unfairly picking on him? Signs point to no

TOP 7TH, SAME,

OK I'm gonna go get cocktails with my friends. Looks like Slowey's got this in hand