Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Santanista!
PREGAME
RK has a late class, so fasten your seat belts, we've got a Clash theme going this evening. Seeing how we're playing the Team With A Racially Insensitive Nickname That Plays Near Lake Erie, I decided against the Custer's last stand route.
But in any case, RK and I might start a White Riot if the Twins can't put up some runs. Meanwhile, Santanista! will hopefully put the Clampdown on the Cleveland hitters. The pirhanas, unless they're Lost In The Supermarket, better show up for tonight's game. The pirhanas, however, aren't the only ones without Complete Control over their bats---Dr. Neau has also been faltering during crunch time as of late. All in all, if the Twins don't get their act in gear, they'll have to search for new Career Opportunities.
With respect to coaching, I feel pretty comfortable because Gardy Can't Fail .
You guys decide, Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
TOP 1ST
RK: Not gonna lie guys, always more of a Cheap Trick kinda guy myself. I mean "guys" in its gender-inclusive form. It's a neuter noun for me. Which makes picking up the declensions much more difficult... anyway. JOHAN AND GLOBAL WARMING BLEW UP THE FIST-POUND! I SAW IT!
WV: Nice
RK: I prefer to do Hawking's theory of time with my fist pounds. You make contact, blow it up, and then retract, and while making a sucking in noise, reconnect the fists
WV: As far as George Eliot goes, however, I'd prefer to mimic Silas Marner tonight as opposed to Middlemarch
RK: Is there any other blog where you could possibly get this invaluable information?
WV: Wow, why do I hear Zach de la Rocha's voice in my head?
RK: You're a... bull... on parade?
WV: Yeah, either drop the hits like De La O or get the fuck off the commode
RK: Grand Casino is apparently closer than you think. Like watching you shower close.
WV: Haha
RK: From here in, Jason Michaels is now George Michael. He will be my father figure.
WV: Potential
RK: Ha, I love how Johan was halfway to third base before the umpire rung Tom Sizemore up for being a washed-out actor
WV: Danny Bonaducci on deck
WV: That pitch there was on purpose, trying to lift Gordito's spirits
RK: Santana will now crush Blake's dreams
WV: Aaaany second now.
RK: Stone.
WV: I appreciate the comparison of Johan and Viola, but Bert might be off base here. Their arm motion can't be that similar, I mean, Johan's elbow isn't in the press box.
RK: Harsh, but accurate.
WV: I guess Hafner turns into Optimus Prime against us
RK: Semi truck Optimus Prime or stupid space base Optimus Prime?
WV: Leg's go with semi truck
RK: I'm a purist like that too.
WV: We're on a 12 step program.
RK: Can I be nervous now?
WV: DAD SAYS NO.
BOTTOM 1ST, CLE 1 MIN 0
WV: Let's hope Fausto hasn't yet sold his soul to Beelzebub for eternal knowledge and power.
RK: And women. Or is that me?
WV: Let's go with it
RK: I'm just saying what you're all thinking.
WV: All together now, "Not Necessary!"
RK: One of these days, Punto is going to lose both arms and his nose
WV: TRUST US
RK: It is tiiiiiime, Brother Joe, to rise up and put one into the seats!
WV: I swear I've seen that double play about 80 times this season. Isn't this what hell is for some people?
TOP 2ND
RK: IT GOES AND SITS ON THE BENCH OR ELSE IT GETS THE CHANGEUP AGAIN!
BOTTOM 2ND
RK: Wow, so impending free agency trade bait might get fined or suspended for keeping his promise of giving the Royals champan-yah?
WV: Hmm...I think Fausto might've already made his deal with the Prince of Gar..err Darkness.
RK: I mean honestly, what kind of luck is this?
WV: I was gonna send Casey Blake a bottle of champagne, but after that baserunning blunder, I'm going to drink it myself
RK: I'm going to go take a battery acid shower.
TOP 3RD
RK: re: Sinn Fein, "Good attempt but not the right decision?" Where's my cake? I want to have it and eat it too
WV: Maybe if they want me to buy group tickets they shouldn't show large gatherings of choochbags in the stands concurrently
RK: I think he was mouthing, "I'm drunk and don't know why I'm cheering!"
WV: After failing again, Blake can now go home and pen "Songs of Experience"
RK: Santana is his qua self
BOTTOM 3RD
WV: Matt: Are you going to blame that on Kubel too..oh wait.
RK: We kid because we love. We're both Kubel, and in fact, the triune Jasonhead entire apologists.
WV: Well, let's see how the Pear King's at-bat goes
RK: I like Dick's point that it seems like we're sucking, but we have one of the best records in the AL
WV: That would comfort me if our schedule were a little tougher up to this point
RK: But that's somewhat moot; if the premiere teams aren't doing any better, what's the impact?
WV: Touché
RK:You know, I feel like we somehow won there
WV: I'll take an out and Casilla on 2nd
RK: Absolutely.
WV: Defeated
TOP 4TH
WV: Great, now Hafner's OBP isn't Google %
RK: 8 billion.
WV: Remember when google used to mean something other than a search engine?
RK: I think it was even spelled googol
WV: And it had nothing to do with a Russian short story called "The Overcoat"
RK: Was the coat virtuous and working toward the greater glory of the Peoples' Republic?
WV: "In Soviet Russia, road forks you"
RK: OK, we can give Kubel a little flak on that one. But not much. He was shaded right.
WV: The first baseman is still making us pay for last night's pun fest
RK: Mustn't hesitate, grasshopper. Must be like Al Newman in 1991
WV: QTF, why did he hestitate?
RK: Indecision.
WV: Well 3 runs, that should about cover it for the evening
RK: So uh... whaddya wanna talk about
WV: This guy's got quite the routine at the plate
RK: It's the only time he's on camera since he never gets on base
BOTTOM 4TH: DREW CAREY SHOW THROWBACKS 3 MARY TYLER MOORE THROWBACKS 0
RK: Mauer really does have one of the sweetest swings in the game. I mean, goes without saying, but still.
WV: Possibly, Ben. It seems insurmountable.
RK: This is possibly promising, but I'll keep my head shut.
WV: Man I miss Hormel Dollar-A-Dog nights
RK: Did you ever take a road trip from Northfield just to go a Wed. game? I know I did from St. John's
WV: Oh without a doubt.
RK: More times than I should probably admit.
WV: Alright, we can roll with this.
RK: In light of empirical evidence, we can't expect anything better
WV: Hunter's thinking, "How can I stretch my boxers into overalls"
RK: Or, "I wonder if I should hit into a 643 or 463 DP?" OK, that's mean. Sorry Sinn Fein. I don't have a car, but don't blow me up
WV: I was bracing myself for another baserunning gaffe there
RK: Wow, is there a weaker arm than Damon in the AL? We've got a winner! We've got a winner! Juice by Sizemore!
WV: Sizemore secretly believes he's pretty enough to be in The Strokes
RK: The Strokes secretly believe they're still the "It" band
WV: They're carpooling to the same Surreal Life episode as Tom Green
RK: Well... I guess he put some good wood on it.
TOP 5TH: INDIGENOUS PEOPLE 3 GEMINI 2
RK: I like missing the 1st out
WV: Don't like it so much when the 2B throws wide from 10 feet away
RK: Nice shag by the Good Doctor!
WV: It would seem that our fortune is turning.
RK: Let's not exhale just yet
BOTTOM 5TH
RK: I don't think Casilla swung till he was out of the batter's box
WV: I'm starting to think that if Casilla played basketball he'd be a Harlem Globetrotter with all his useless tricks.
RK: The tide must be high tonight. Sandcastle's not looking so good
WV: Pirantas aren't looking too hot either. I'd blame global warming, but he's batting 3rd
TOP 6TH
WV: I'd say we were streaky but our streaks come once a game and are 2 or 3 run outbursts
RK: I streak better than that from my shower to the bedroom
WV: We need to start a pool called: "Who's going to commit the error tonight?" Prizes TBD
RK: Bartlett's too easy
WV: Sorry Sister Jensen, but it's true. We should trade Silva to the Yankees while he's still respectable
RK: Haha, for Mientkiewicz, straight up. Think Buster Olney would even notice that trade?
WV: He'd notice the blocked sunlight as Gordito approaches the East Coast
RK: Doug would keep one foot on first in the Bronx until he landed in Minneapolis
WV: You know those mini-basketball games at Chuck E. Cheese?
RK: All too well
WV: How you are hit and miss but then all of a sudden you hit like 20 in a row? We need Santana to hit that groove.
RK: I'll take Bert saying "ho ho ho" and tapping his belly any day
WV: Never a bad day with him in the booth
BOTTOM 6TH
WV: I think they've converted the Metrodome into a hyper-gravity center
RK: I remember that ride at the fair.
WV: This is getting to be a little depressing
TOP 7TH
RK: I love how even when Santana has a bit of a rough start, he can pitch forever
WV: After last night I'm sure the bullpen is grateful
RK: Didn't need the 2-out walk now.
WV: I'm going to go ahead and blame this on the umpire totally botching that strike on Sizemore
RK: I need to quit talking. Forever. Go live in a hole and everything. And you are correct sir.
WV: This is altogether unfamiliar territory for me.
RK: Well this isn't the end of the inning I was envisioning
WV: Minnesota Twins: Get to unknow 'em
RK: Don't gotta see this
WV: Earlier, I built a flood dike around the Sandcastle
RK: Good call
BOTTOM 7TH: LAND OF CLEVE 4 SOTA OF MINNE 2
WV: Boy we're on a real streak of giving inconsistent mediocre pitchers their best career starts
RK: Someone's gotta do it
WV: I'm not even a little excited right now. I can't even muster enough of a will to imagine that Barlett could tie this up.
RK: Yeah, my brain is failing me right now
WV: It's like the opposing team can read the future and position themselves in the field accordingly
RK: Good thing we didn't waste the brain energy to use our imaginations
TOP 8TH
RK: Looks like the Metrodome slip-n-slide funpark is coming to fruition.
WV: Guerrier to Punto: Pysch!
WV: *more depression*
RK: I'm gonna go find my scotch.
WV: Not having Castillo and Rondell can't be this debilitating can it?
RK: We need some hoverboard action, ASAP
BOTTOM 8TH OHIO 5 MINNY/ST. PAUL 2
WV: The fact that the Yankees keep sucking has nearly stopped making me feel better
RK: Schadenfreude is good
WV: What's one of those things called again..a.....trot? a....scamper? Oh yes, a walk.
RK: I've seen one of those before.
RK: HE WAS SAFE!
WV: I mean, what else are you gonna do?
RK: SAFE!
WV: Definitely
RK: I asplode.
TOP 9TH
RK: Stacey, I like your style
WV: Bourbon bourbon bourbon
RK: Scotchy scotch scotch
WV: zzzzzz
RK: Wake me up before you go go
WV: Stacey: You're not Tyner-ing too hard....Sigh. Maybe we better avoid the puns.
BOTTOM 9TH
WV: In good news, Jeter was hit by a pitch for the second straight day and left the game
RK: God we're horrible
RK: I was watching this video and I was like, "What is this again?" Then I remembered I was watching a baseball game
WV: A part of me would like them to either win or lose. I'm not sure extra innings would be cool
RK: I'm boycotting extra innings tonight. I have grading to do
WV: Justinsupportable
RK: Faulty fuse on Fein's carbomb
WV: I mean, good for Kubel, but y'know, scoreboard
RK: Great managerial move there Gardy
WV: Mercifully over
POSTGAME
RK: My head hurts.
WV: This game gave me glaucoma of the eye.
RK has a late class, so fasten your seat belts, we've got a Clash theme going this evening. Seeing how we're playing the Team With A Racially Insensitive Nickname That Plays Near Lake Erie, I decided against the Custer's last stand route.
But in any case, RK and I might start a White Riot if the Twins can't put up some runs. Meanwhile, Santanista! will hopefully put the Clampdown on the Cleveland hitters. The pirhanas, unless they're Lost In The Supermarket, better show up for tonight's game. The pirhanas, however, aren't the only ones without Complete Control over their bats---Dr. Neau has also been faltering during crunch time as of late. All in all, if the Twins don't get their act in gear, they'll have to search for new Career Opportunities.
With respect to coaching, I feel pretty comfortable because Gardy Can't Fail .
You guys decide, Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
TOP 1ST
RK: Not gonna lie guys, always more of a Cheap Trick kinda guy myself. I mean "guys" in its gender-inclusive form. It's a neuter noun for me. Which makes picking up the declensions much more difficult... anyway. JOHAN AND GLOBAL WARMING BLEW UP THE FIST-POUND! I SAW IT!
WV: Nice
RK: I prefer to do Hawking's theory of time with my fist pounds. You make contact, blow it up, and then retract, and while making a sucking in noise, reconnect the fists
WV: As far as George Eliot goes, however, I'd prefer to mimic Silas Marner tonight as opposed to Middlemarch
RK: Is there any other blog where you could possibly get this invaluable information?
WV: Wow, why do I hear Zach de la Rocha's voice in my head?
RK: You're a... bull... on parade?
WV: Yeah, either drop the hits like De La O or get the fuck off the commode
RK: Grand Casino is apparently closer than you think. Like watching you shower close.
WV: Haha
RK: From here in, Jason Michaels is now George Michael. He will be my father figure.
WV: Potential
RK: Ha, I love how Johan was halfway to third base before the umpire rung Tom Sizemore up for being a washed-out actor
WV: Danny Bonaducci on deck
WV: That pitch there was on purpose, trying to lift Gordito's spirits
RK: Santana will now crush Blake's dreams
WV: Aaaany second now.
RK: Stone.
WV: I appreciate the comparison of Johan and Viola, but Bert might be off base here. Their arm motion can't be that similar, I mean, Johan's elbow isn't in the press box.
RK: Harsh, but accurate.
WV: I guess Hafner turns into Optimus Prime against us
RK: Semi truck Optimus Prime or stupid space base Optimus Prime?
WV: Leg's go with semi truck
RK: I'm a purist like that too.
WV: We're on a 12 step program.
RK: Can I be nervous now?
WV: DAD SAYS NO.
BOTTOM 1ST, CLE 1 MIN 0
WV: Let's hope Fausto hasn't yet sold his soul to Beelzebub for eternal knowledge and power.
RK: And women. Or is that me?
WV: Let's go with it
RK: I'm just saying what you're all thinking.
WV: All together now, "Not Necessary!"
RK: One of these days, Punto is going to lose both arms and his nose
WV: TRUST US
RK: It is tiiiiiime, Brother Joe, to rise up and put one into the seats!
WV: I swear I've seen that double play about 80 times this season. Isn't this what hell is for some people?
TOP 2ND
RK: IT GOES AND SITS ON THE BENCH OR ELSE IT GETS THE CHANGEUP AGAIN!
BOTTOM 2ND
RK: Wow, so impending free agency trade bait might get fined or suspended for keeping his promise of giving the Royals champan-yah?
WV: Hmm...I think Fausto might've already made his deal with the Prince of Gar..err Darkness.
RK: I mean honestly, what kind of luck is this?
WV: I was gonna send Casey Blake a bottle of champagne, but after that baserunning blunder, I'm going to drink it myself
RK: I'm going to go take a battery acid shower.
TOP 3RD
RK: re: Sinn Fein, "Good attempt but not the right decision?" Where's my cake? I want to have it and eat it too
WV: Maybe if they want me to buy group tickets they shouldn't show large gatherings of choochbags in the stands concurrently
RK: I think he was mouthing, "I'm drunk and don't know why I'm cheering!"
WV: After failing again, Blake can now go home and pen "Songs of Experience"
RK: Santana is his qua self
BOTTOM 3RD
WV: Matt: Are you going to blame that on Kubel too..oh wait.
RK: We kid because we love. We're both Kubel, and in fact, the triune Jasonhead entire apologists.
WV: Well, let's see how the Pear King's at-bat goes
RK: I like Dick's point that it seems like we're sucking, but we have one of the best records in the AL
WV: That would comfort me if our schedule were a little tougher up to this point
RK: But that's somewhat moot; if the premiere teams aren't doing any better, what's the impact?
WV: Touché
RK:You know, I feel like we somehow won there
WV: I'll take an out and Casilla on 2nd
RK: Absolutely.
WV: Defeated
TOP 4TH
WV: Great, now Hafner's OBP isn't Google %
RK: 8 billion.
WV: Remember when google used to mean something other than a search engine?
RK: I think it was even spelled googol
WV: And it had nothing to do with a Russian short story called "The Overcoat"
RK: Was the coat virtuous and working toward the greater glory of the Peoples' Republic?
WV: "In Soviet Russia, road forks you"
RK: OK, we can give Kubel a little flak on that one. But not much. He was shaded right.
WV: The first baseman is still making us pay for last night's pun fest
RK: Mustn't hesitate, grasshopper. Must be like Al Newman in 1991
WV: QTF, why did he hestitate?
RK: Indecision.
WV: Well 3 runs, that should about cover it for the evening
RK: So uh... whaddya wanna talk about
WV: This guy's got quite the routine at the plate
RK: It's the only time he's on camera since he never gets on base
BOTTOM 4TH: DREW CAREY SHOW THROWBACKS 3 MARY TYLER MOORE THROWBACKS 0
RK: Mauer really does have one of the sweetest swings in the game. I mean, goes without saying, but still.
WV: Possibly, Ben. It seems insurmountable.
RK: This is possibly promising, but I'll keep my head shut.
WV: Man I miss Hormel Dollar-A-Dog nights
RK: Did you ever take a road trip from Northfield just to go a Wed. game? I know I did from St. John's
WV: Oh without a doubt.
RK: More times than I should probably admit.
WV: Alright, we can roll with this.
RK: In light of empirical evidence, we can't expect anything better
WV: Hunter's thinking, "How can I stretch my boxers into overalls"
RK: Or, "I wonder if I should hit into a 643 or 463 DP?" OK, that's mean. Sorry Sinn Fein. I don't have a car, but don't blow me up
WV: I was bracing myself for another baserunning gaffe there
RK: Wow, is there a weaker arm than Damon in the AL? We've got a winner! We've got a winner! Juice by Sizemore!
WV: Sizemore secretly believes he's pretty enough to be in The Strokes
RK: The Strokes secretly believe they're still the "It" band
WV: They're carpooling to the same Surreal Life episode as Tom Green
RK: Well... I guess he put some good wood on it.
TOP 5TH: INDIGENOUS PEOPLE 3 GEMINI 2
RK: I like missing the 1st out
WV: Don't like it so much when the 2B throws wide from 10 feet away
RK: Nice shag by the Good Doctor!
WV: It would seem that our fortune is turning.
RK: Let's not exhale just yet
BOTTOM 5TH
RK: I don't think Casilla swung till he was out of the batter's box
WV: I'm starting to think that if Casilla played basketball he'd be a Harlem Globetrotter with all his useless tricks.
RK: The tide must be high tonight. Sandcastle's not looking so good
WV: Pirantas aren't looking too hot either. I'd blame global warming, but he's batting 3rd
TOP 6TH
WV: I'd say we were streaky but our streaks come once a game and are 2 or 3 run outbursts
RK: I streak better than that from my shower to the bedroom
WV: We need to start a pool called: "Who's going to commit the error tonight?" Prizes TBD
RK: Bartlett's too easy
WV: Sorry Sister Jensen, but it's true. We should trade Silva to the Yankees while he's still respectable
RK: Haha, for Mientkiewicz, straight up. Think Buster Olney would even notice that trade?
WV: He'd notice the blocked sunlight as Gordito approaches the East Coast
RK: Doug would keep one foot on first in the Bronx until he landed in Minneapolis
WV: You know those mini-basketball games at Chuck E. Cheese?
RK: All too well
WV: How you are hit and miss but then all of a sudden you hit like 20 in a row? We need Santana to hit that groove.
RK: I'll take Bert saying "ho ho ho" and tapping his belly any day
WV: Never a bad day with him in the booth
BOTTOM 6TH
WV: I think they've converted the Metrodome into a hyper-gravity center
RK: I remember that ride at the fair.
WV: This is getting to be a little depressing
TOP 7TH
RK: I love how even when Santana has a bit of a rough start, he can pitch forever
WV: After last night I'm sure the bullpen is grateful
RK: Didn't need the 2-out walk now.
WV: I'm going to go ahead and blame this on the umpire totally botching that strike on Sizemore
RK: I need to quit talking. Forever. Go live in a hole and everything. And you are correct sir.
WV: This is altogether unfamiliar territory for me.
RK: Well this isn't the end of the inning I was envisioning
WV: Minnesota Twins: Get to unknow 'em
RK: Don't gotta see this
WV: Earlier, I built a flood dike around the Sandcastle
RK: Good call
BOTTOM 7TH: LAND OF CLEVE 4 SOTA OF MINNE 2
WV: Boy we're on a real streak of giving inconsistent mediocre pitchers their best career starts
RK: Someone's gotta do it
WV: I'm not even a little excited right now. I can't even muster enough of a will to imagine that Barlett could tie this up.
RK: Yeah, my brain is failing me right now
WV: It's like the opposing team can read the future and position themselves in the field accordingly
RK: Good thing we didn't waste the brain energy to use our imaginations
TOP 8TH
RK: Looks like the Metrodome slip-n-slide funpark is coming to fruition.
WV: Guerrier to Punto: Pysch!
WV: *more depression*
RK: I'm gonna go find my scotch.
WV: Not having Castillo and Rondell can't be this debilitating can it?
RK: We need some hoverboard action, ASAP
BOTTOM 8TH OHIO 5 MINNY/ST. PAUL 2
WV: The fact that the Yankees keep sucking has nearly stopped making me feel better
RK: Schadenfreude is good
WV: What's one of those things called again..a.....trot? a....scamper? Oh yes, a walk.
RK: I've seen one of those before.
RK: HE WAS SAFE!
WV: I mean, what else are you gonna do?
RK: SAFE!
WV: Definitely
RK: I asplode.
TOP 9TH
RK: Stacey, I like your style
WV: Bourbon bourbon bourbon
RK: Scotchy scotch scotch
WV: zzzzzz
RK: Wake me up before you go go
WV: Stacey: You're not Tyner-ing too hard....Sigh. Maybe we better avoid the puns.
BOTTOM 9TH
WV: In good news, Jeter was hit by a pitch for the second straight day and left the game
RK: God we're horrible
RK: I was watching this video and I was like, "What is this again?" Then I remembered I was watching a baseball game
WV: A part of me would like them to either win or lose. I'm not sure extra innings would be cool
RK: I'm boycotting extra innings tonight. I have grading to do
WV: Justinsupportable
RK: Faulty fuse on Fein's carbomb
WV: I mean, good for Kubel, but y'know, scoreboard
RK: Great managerial move there Gardy
WV: Mercifully over
POSTGAME
RK: My head hurts.
WV: This game gave me glaucoma of the eye.
# posted by WV @ 7:37 PM 
Comments:
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Ah I don't know! Lol
It's Johan.. it's at home.. (not sure where I'm going with this)
It's Johan.. it's at home.. (not sure where I'm going with this)
# posted by 
: 7:56 PM
: 7:56 PM 
Wow...I didn't even comment and my name got brought up because of Bartlett..and I'm asssuming he had an error and I missed it? I apologize for missing the majority of the game...Paradiso with it's fajita's and margarita's on special got the best of me :) However I missed the free taco bar :(
maybe some extended series of puns featuring one of our players is just what the team needs to get out of this funk. It seemed to work for Garko yesterday. Like how tragic it was that Don Ho, singer of "Tyner" Bubbles died last week. Am I trying to hard?
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# posted by : 10:19 PM
: 10:19 PM << Home
