Sunday, April 22, 2007


Y'know What They Call a Quarter Pounder With Cheese in France? De La Rosa


WV: Eating pizza, drinking coke and watching baseball allows for real thinking time

RK: You really get a perspective. Also, thanks to you for covering and for everyone's thoughts/concern while I was on retreat in North Carolina

WV: My pleasure, but unlike Plato I wasn't able to fictionalize your presence to preserve our dialogic nature.

RK: I suppose that qualifies me as an individual qua individual

WV: That's right, you're our Socrates. Soon argumentation will be welcomed with the Robratic method.

RK: And I'll pester the hell out of people till the city kills me?

WV: I'll send the hemlock

RK: "The Trial and Death of Socrates": Concentrated.

Greece: STFU already

Socrates: Over my dead body!



RK: I like how the announcers sound so resigned. "Well, we'll see how it goes today." It's like a recovering alcoholic waking up clutching to his blue chip

WV: About the only thing positive to say is that the sun is shining.

RK: Someone needs to send the memo to Casilla about what a leadoff hitter's supposed to do

WV: You missed Little Nicky's Pete Rose-esque belly flop slide into 3rd yesterday

RK: Ah, nostalgia. And Mauer continues to do what he does

WV: I wonder if paper bags to place over your head come with the tickets to Royals games

RK: Remember those old Tail Gator's commercials back in Fargo? Er, nevermind

WV: I do. We really watched too much tv...back then.

RK: Now I only watch The Sopranos

WV: Well, that strike out with the bases juiced wasn't totally desirable.

RK: It's an interesting strategy

WV: Ah, the old 2005 strategy


RK: I like how Everybody Loves Raymoan pitches at the speed of sound

WV: And don't look now, but the Twins lead the AL in fielding so far. I refuse to call it defense

RK: Neither do I. I prefer to preserve the quirky terminology and unique aspects of the game.

WV: And there it is.


RK: Let's see if superchew can continue his dominance over the Royals

WV: They should just move the entire team to shallow right field

RK: Or have De La Rosa throw a tin of Skoal to the plate

WV: 2 for 15 thus far for Rabe at the plate....seems about right.

RK: He's the next big thing

WV: Rabe is the elusive forth wave of ska

RK: Currently at concerts, however, his band outnumbers the crowd

WV: I hate to Gload, but nice catch.


RK: Good to hear some things never change, Jensen, but I bet the Bears fan doesn't wear a paper bag anymore.

WV: It's cool and all that Mlb.TV is playing retro arcade games on the screen during commercial breaks, but they should think beyond pac-man and pong. Like some Missle Command, for instance.

RK: Those were some good nights, drinking hooch and playing Missile Command

WV: Mike Sweeney is probably the unluckiest man on Earth

RK: An asteroid might clip him on the way back to the dugout.

WV: The way this camera is jumping up and down it's like this game is being played in a monsoon.

RK: Or typhoon.

WV: Whatever. Some kind of -oon.

RK: And you do the Barlett dumpty and you turn yourself around

WV: Baaaartlett pokey.


WV: What would you rather watch: CSI: Miami or an interview with Scott Elarton in the dugout.

RK: That's a surprisingly tough decision

WV: I really felt embarrassed for the KC announcers when they effusively thanked Elarton for talking with them.

RK: It's probably the only invitation Elarton will get to do anything all year.


WV: Royals: 4 and 4 when Pena gets a hit. That basically accounts to..not notable in the least.

RK: Yeah, and when I put on pants in the morning, the Twins are whatever their record is

WV: We've trailed the Royals far too often this series.

RK: I could really do without it. I prefer to 2-out rallies on our side.

WV: We especially don't need Gload to go all Jim Thome on us

RK: That ball was too high.


WV: Uh

RK: Baseball!

WV: Yes

RK: Webgem on Pena.


Dear people, you're stuck with just me now, RK. WV is experiencing problem with his series of tubes that we call the interwebs. So let's buckle up, because this is going to get bumpy.


Qob, I have no idea why we have such astronomically bad karma. What's Q in military code speak?

Here's the thing: the rest of this post will be themed, in terms of the 1995 epic "Batman Forever." The cast:

De La Rosa: "Kissed by a Rose"

Shealy: Seal

And I'll make up the rest as I go along. I live in the land of painfully extended metaphors.

All I know is this: I know that we're never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy, but the Twins won't survive this game unless they get a little offense.


I know we're reaching freak-out point here, but I want to point out that Ortiz is not unlike Val Kilmer, the calm Batman with a quick hand and... rubber nipples. He's doing his job, it's about what we should expect from him, and it's not his fault his parents were shot by the Joker.

Another run. Le sigh.

Sorry, megan et al. WV and I didn't communicate too terribly well about who was actually posting. It's all fixed up now, nice and tidy.


Casilla hit that bat like The Riddler hit that cop and hurt his hand. Is it unnerving the amount of detail I remember from this film?

Wow, the Royals are putting on a defensive show here. This isn't right! It's time for Grand Avenue Joe to belt one like Robin belted Two-Face for killing his parents.

But I'll take a slap single too, especially if Mauer goes to 2nd on a WP.

And Cuddy does his job in the middle of the M&M sandwich. Someone in the crowd near the booth said "darn it!" and I love that kind of stuff. A conscious effort to be as inoffensive as possible. I love it.

Get it together, MVP!


Yeah, I pretty much update the score when I feel like it.

I'll never like Buck because of the association with Joe Buck. And the Mauer gets up like Alfred and politely invites Sanders to exit the field of play without giving away the location of the Batcave on that strike to second.

High winds + fly ball pitcher = AAAAAUUUUGHH!

Can you believe Heidi Klum married that guy?


Qob, right, and the elements aren't helping either. But like I said, 3 runs over 6 innings? That's not too terrible for what we expected out of the guy. He's a pleasant surprise. Like Nicole Kidman as Bruce Wayne's therapist/lover.

I wonder who handles graphics for the Royals. The in-game graphics look like something from an episode of a 1979 Wide World of Sports at some cliff-diving competition in Mexico or something.

Redmond has his own little groove out to right field. At some point, they'll rename the right side of the field, the "Mike Redmond expressway"

Rabe's happy to be here, like the guy who plays Commissioner Gordon, but you're gonna be in hot water! And then you'll be delicious. I prefer watercress myself.

Were now entering the ridiculous, or "Batman and Robin" stage.


Thank God WV is back.

RK: I was running out of Batman Forever analogies anyway

WV: I hope you didn't have to mention the soundtrack.

RK: Only in passing.

WV: Because if we lose, it will be the end is the beg...yeah.

RK: 3 runs in 7 innings is a solid outing for Ortiz.

WV: Exactly

RK: The bats need to come to life though.


WV: I kind of hope Castillo comes back soon.

RK: The Sandcastle is washing away in the high tide

WV: I can't seem to find the team splits, but it feels like we've really struggled against lefties this season.

RK: That's an eternally true statement

WV: Another timeless statement: "Maybe the Royals have started to turn the corner"

RK: I bet they only turn left like NASCAR drivers.

WV: That was a pretty good play right there to get Joe out.

RK: Begrudgingly, yes.


RK: This is like a juxtaposition of the Bermuda Triangle, the Twilight Zone, and... Never Never Land with that hit by Teahan

WV: Right, you could rename it "Charlie Kaufman Stadium" and say that his rundown was a form of "Adaptation" by Reyes

RK: Seriously, I miss Bert like the deserts miss the rain. These guys are like golf announcers on opiates.

WV: Guerrierrrrreat! in

RK: The pooch: Screwed.

WV: hopefully with the next batter, Guerrier can Buck this walking people trend.

RK: You're like a pun robot today. And robots are strong.

WV: Unlike Cuddyer's seeing in the sun talent.

RK: Silly human eyes.


WV: I guess pitches at your ankles are strikes nowadays.

RK: That's a "get me out of this wind strike"

WV: Smell those RsBI

RK: I smell burning hair. Didn't turn out well for Carmine.

WV: Uh.


WV: See getting out of the wind comment.

RK: That was a strike on World 5 of Mario Brothers 3 where everything freaking enormous. And nowhere else.


RK: Well, we got kissed by a Rose.

WV: Well, the bases loaded and 1 out situation in the 1st looks like a pretty big wasted opportunity huh

RK: The bats are full of ass. The umpire is full of stupid.

WV: The pirantas went 1-14

RK: We need more havoc!

WV: it's tough to clear the table when it's never been set in the first place

RK: And it's criminal to give of the Rose a 6 pitch inning

WV: Exactly. The Twins better "Fly Like An Eagle" out of KC ASAP.

RK: God we're awesome.

WV: No doubt about it.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? I mean really. Whenever I do to PAB when the game is going, they get behind. I like this site, but dang...
"Be good with this guy Mike Sweeney...don't walk him, but don't give him anything too good to hit"....why thank you Captain Obvious Bert he gets a hit...LISTEN RAY-MOAN!
Now you took the other one away... I was so confused, haha. But :( We're losing...
I think it's "Quart" but dang, I may have to quit coming here.
It's all good! :)

Although this game is not all good...
OK, a little somethin somethin
sigh Not Raymoan's game today
I am following the game online today and Yahoo is doing a much better job than CBS sportsline
"RK: And you do the Barlett dumpty and you turn yourself around

WV: Baaaartlett pokey."

LOL. I love that line.
Actually, giant world is world 4 of Super Mario Bros 3, but that's just splitting hairs. Either way, there's no chance that was a strike, especially strike 3 to end the game.
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