Sunday, April 22, 2007
Y'know What They Call a Quarter Pounder With Cheese in France? De La Rosa
PREGAME
WV: Eating pizza, drinking coke and watching baseball allows for real thinking time
RK: You really get a perspective. Also, thanks to you for covering and for everyone's thoughts/concern while I was on retreat in North Carolina
WV: My pleasure, but unlike Plato I wasn't able to fictionalize your presence to preserve our dialogic nature.
RK: I suppose that qualifies me as an individual qua individual
WV: That's right, you're our Socrates. Soon argumentation will be welcomed with the Robratic method.
RK: And I'll pester the hell out of people till the city kills me?
WV: I'll send the hemlock
RK: "The Trial and Death of Socrates": Concentrated.
Greece: STFU already
Socrates: Over my dead body!
fin
TOP 1ST, TWINS 0 ROYALS 0
RK: I like how the announcers sound so resigned. "Well, we'll see how it goes today." It's like a recovering alcoholic waking up clutching to his blue chip
WV: About the only thing positive to say is that the sun is shining.
RK: Someone needs to send the memo to Casilla about what a leadoff hitter's supposed to do
WV: You missed Little Nicky's Pete Rose-esque belly flop slide into 3rd yesterday
RK: Ah, nostalgia. And Mauer continues to do what he does
WV: I wonder if paper bags to place over your head come with the tickets to Royals games
RK: Remember those old Tail Gator's commercials back in Fargo? Er, nevermind
WV: I do. We really watched too much tv...back then.
RK: Now I only watch The Sopranos
WV: Well, that strike out with the bases juiced wasn't totally desirable.
RK: It's an interesting strategy
WV: Ah, the old 2005 strategy
BOTTOM 1ST
RK: I like how Everybody Loves Raymoan pitches at the speed of sound
WV: And don't look now, but the Twins lead the AL in fielding so far. I refuse to call it defense
RK: Neither do I. I prefer to preserve the quirky terminology and unique aspects of the game.
WV: And there it is.
TOP 2ND MIN 0 KC 0
RK: Let's see if superchew can continue his dominance over the Royals
WV: They should just move the entire team to shallow right field
RK: Or have De La Rosa throw a tin of Skoal to the plate
WV: 2 for 15 thus far for Rabe at the plate....seems about right.
RK: He's the next big thing
WV: Rabe is the elusive forth wave of ska
RK: Currently at concerts, however, his band outnumbers the crowd
WV: I hate to Gload, but nice catch.
BOTTOM 2ND
RK: Good to hear some things never change, Jensen, but I bet the Bears fan doesn't wear a paper bag anymore.
WV: It's cool and all that Mlb.TV is playing retro arcade games on the screen during commercial breaks, but they should think beyond pac-man and pong. Like some Missle Command, for instance.
RK: Those were some good nights, drinking hooch and playing Missile Command
WV: Mike Sweeney is probably the unluckiest man on Earth
RK: An asteroid might clip him on the way back to the dugout.
WV: The way this camera is jumping up and down it's like this game is being played in a monsoon.
RK: Or typhoon.
WV: Whatever. Some kind of -oon.
RK: And you do the Barlett dumpty and you turn yourself around
WV: Baaaartlett pokey.
TOP 3RD MINNESOTA 0 KANSAS CITY 0
WV: What would you rather watch: CSI: Miami or an interview with Scott Elarton in the dugout.
RK: That's a surprisingly tough decision
WV: I really felt embarrassed for the KC announcers when they effusively thanked Elarton for talking with them.
RK: It's probably the only invitation Elarton will get to do anything all year.
BOTTOM 3RD
WV: Royals: 4 and 4 when Pena gets a hit. That basically accounts to..not notable in the least.
RK: Yeah, and when I put on pants in the morning, the Twins are whatever their record is
WV: We've trailed the Royals far too often this series.
RK: I could really do without it. I prefer to 2-out rallies on our side.
WV: We especially don't need Gload to go all Jim Thome on us
RK: That ball was too high.
TOP 4TH MIN 0 KC 2
WV: Uh
RK: Baseball!
WV: Yes
RK: Webgem on Pena.
BOTTOM 4TH
Dear people, you're stuck with just me now, RK. WV is experiencing problem with his series of tubes that we call the interwebs. So let's buckle up, because this is going to get bumpy.
TOP 5TH TWINS 0 ROYALS 2
Qob, I have no idea why we have such astronomically bad karma. What's Q in military code speak?
Here's the thing: the rest of this post will be themed, in terms of the 1995 epic "Batman Forever." The cast:
De La Rosa: "Kissed by a Rose"
Shealy: Seal
And I'll make up the rest as I go along. I live in the land of painfully extended metaphors.
All I know is this: I know that we're never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy, but the Twins won't survive this game unless they get a little offense.
BOTTOM 5TH
I know we're reaching freak-out point here, but I want to point out that Ortiz is not unlike Val Kilmer, the calm Batman with a quick hand and... rubber nipples. He's doing his job, it's about what we should expect from him, and it's not his fault his parents were shot by the Joker.
Another run. Le sigh.
Sorry, megan et al. WV and I didn't communicate too terribly well about who was actually posting. It's all fixed up now, nice and tidy.
TOP 6TH
Casilla hit that bat like The Riddler hit that cop and hurt his hand. Is it unnerving the amount of detail I remember from this film?
Wow, the Royals are putting on a defensive show here. This isn't right! It's time for Grand Avenue Joe to belt one like Robin belted Two-Face for killing his parents.
But I'll take a slap single too, especially if Mauer goes to 2nd on a WP.
And Cuddy does his job in the middle of the M&M sandwich. Someone in the crowd near the booth said "darn it!" and I love that kind of stuff. A conscious effort to be as inoffensive as possible. I love it.
Get it together, MVP!
BOTTOM 6TH MIN 1 KC 3
Yeah, I pretty much update the score when I feel like it.
I'll never like Buck because of the association with Joe Buck. And the Mauer gets up like Alfred and politely invites Sanders to exit the field of play without giving away the location of the Batcave on that strike to second.
High winds + fly ball pitcher = AAAAAUUUUGHH!
Can you believe Heidi Klum married that guy?
TOP 7TH
Qob, right, and the elements aren't helping either. But like I said, 3 runs over 6 innings? That's not too terrible for what we expected out of the guy. He's a pleasant surprise. Like Nicole Kidman as Bruce Wayne's therapist/lover.
I wonder who handles graphics for the Royals. The in-game graphics look like something from an episode of a 1979 Wide World of Sports at some cliff-diving competition in Mexico or something.
Redmond has his own little groove out to right field. At some point, they'll rename the right side of the field, the "Mike Redmond expressway"
Rabe's happy to be here, like the guy who plays Commissioner Gordon, but you're gonna be in hot water! And then you'll be delicious. I prefer watercress myself.
Were now entering the ridiculous, or "Batman and Robin" stage.
BOTTOM 7TH
Thank God WV is back.
RK: I was running out of Batman Forever analogies anyway
WV: I hope you didn't have to mention the soundtrack.
RK: Only in passing.
WV: Because if we lose, it will be the end is the beg...yeah.
RK: 3 runs in 7 innings is a solid outing for Ortiz.
WV: Exactly
RK: The bats need to come to life though.
TOP 8TH GENTLEMEN FROM MINNESOTA 1 GENTLEMEN FROM KANSAS CITY 3
WV: I kind of hope Castillo comes back soon.
RK: The Sandcastle is washing away in the high tide
WV: I can't seem to find the team splits, but it feels like we've really struggled against lefties this season.
RK: That's an eternally true statement
WV: Another timeless statement: "Maybe the Royals have started to turn the corner"
RK: I bet they only turn left like NASCAR drivers.
WV: That was a pretty good play right there to get Joe out.
RK: Begrudgingly, yes.
BOTTOM 8TH
RK: This is like a juxtaposition of the Bermuda Triangle, the Twilight Zone, and... Never Never Land with that hit by Teahan
WV: Right, you could rename it "Charlie Kaufman Stadium" and say that his rundown was a form of "Adaptation" by Reyes
RK: Seriously, I miss Bert like the deserts miss the rain. These guys are like golf announcers on opiates.
WV: Guerrierrrrreat! in
RK: The pooch: Screwed.
WV: hopefully with the next batter, Guerrier can Buck this walking people trend.
RK: You're like a pun robot today. And robots are strong.
WV: Unlike Cuddyer's seeing in the sun talent.
RK: Silly human eyes.
TOP 9TH 3 SLAYOR 1 SNIWT
WV: I guess pitches at your ankles are strikes nowadays.
RK: That's a "get me out of this wind strike"
WV: Smell those RsBI
RK: I smell burning hair. Didn't turn out well for Carmine.
WV: Uh.
RK: QTF?
WV: See getting out of the wind comment.
RK: That was a strike on World 5 of Mario Brothers 3 where everything freaking enormous. And nowhere else.
POSTGAME
RK: Well, we got kissed by a Rose.
WV: Well, the bases loaded and 1 out situation in the 1st looks like a pretty big wasted opportunity huh
RK: The bats are full of ass. The umpire is full of stupid.
WV: The pirantas went 1-14
RK: We need more havoc!
WV: it's tough to clear the table when it's never been set in the first place
RK: And it's criminal to give of the Rose a 6 pitch inning
WV: Exactly. The Twins better "Fly Like An Eagle" out of KC ASAP.
RK: God we're awesome.
WV: No doubt about it.
WV: Eating pizza, drinking coke and watching baseball allows for real thinking time
RK: You really get a perspective. Also, thanks to you for covering and for everyone's thoughts/concern while I was on retreat in North Carolina
WV: My pleasure, but unlike Plato I wasn't able to fictionalize your presence to preserve our dialogic nature.
RK: I suppose that qualifies me as an individual qua individual
WV: That's right, you're our Socrates. Soon argumentation will be welcomed with the Robratic method.
RK: And I'll pester the hell out of people till the city kills me?
WV: I'll send the hemlock
RK: "The Trial and Death of Socrates": Concentrated.
Greece: STFU already
Socrates: Over my dead body!
fin
TOP 1ST, TWINS 0 ROYALS 0
RK: I like how the announcers sound so resigned. "Well, we'll see how it goes today." It's like a recovering alcoholic waking up clutching to his blue chip
WV: About the only thing positive to say is that the sun is shining.
RK: Someone needs to send the memo to Casilla about what a leadoff hitter's supposed to do
WV: You missed Little Nicky's Pete Rose-esque belly flop slide into 3rd yesterday
RK: Ah, nostalgia. And Mauer continues to do what he does
WV: I wonder if paper bags to place over your head come with the tickets to Royals games
RK: Remember those old Tail Gator's commercials back in Fargo? Er, nevermind
WV: I do. We really watched too much tv...back then.
RK: Now I only watch The Sopranos
WV: Well, that strike out with the bases juiced wasn't totally desirable.
RK: It's an interesting strategy
WV: Ah, the old 2005 strategy
BOTTOM 1ST
RK: I like how Everybody Loves Raymoan pitches at the speed of sound
WV: And don't look now, but the Twins lead the AL in fielding so far. I refuse to call it defense
RK: Neither do I. I prefer to preserve the quirky terminology and unique aspects of the game.
WV: And there it is.
TOP 2ND MIN 0 KC 0
RK: Let's see if superchew can continue his dominance over the Royals
WV: They should just move the entire team to shallow right field
RK: Or have De La Rosa throw a tin of Skoal to the plate
WV: 2 for 15 thus far for Rabe at the plate....seems about right.
RK: He's the next big thing
WV: Rabe is the elusive forth wave of ska
RK: Currently at concerts, however, his band outnumbers the crowd
WV: I hate to Gload, but nice catch.
BOTTOM 2ND
RK: Good to hear some things never change, Jensen, but I bet the Bears fan doesn't wear a paper bag anymore.
WV: It's cool and all that Mlb.TV is playing retro arcade games on the screen during commercial breaks, but they should think beyond pac-man and pong. Like some Missle Command, for instance.
RK: Those were some good nights, drinking hooch and playing Missile Command
WV: Mike Sweeney is probably the unluckiest man on Earth
RK: An asteroid might clip him on the way back to the dugout.
WV: The way this camera is jumping up and down it's like this game is being played in a monsoon.
RK: Or typhoon.
WV: Whatever. Some kind of -oon.
RK: And you do the Barlett dumpty and you turn yourself around
WV: Baaaartlett pokey.
TOP 3RD MINNESOTA 0 KANSAS CITY 0
WV: What would you rather watch: CSI: Miami or an interview with Scott Elarton in the dugout.
RK: That's a surprisingly tough decision
WV: I really felt embarrassed for the KC announcers when they effusively thanked Elarton for talking with them.
RK: It's probably the only invitation Elarton will get to do anything all year.
BOTTOM 3RD
WV: Royals: 4 and 4 when Pena gets a hit. That basically accounts to..not notable in the least.
RK: Yeah, and when I put on pants in the morning, the Twins are whatever their record is
WV: We've trailed the Royals far too often this series.
RK: I could really do without it. I prefer to 2-out rallies on our side.
WV: We especially don't need Gload to go all Jim Thome on us
RK: That ball was too high.
TOP 4TH MIN 0 KC 2
WV: Uh
RK: Baseball!
WV: Yes
RK: Webgem on Pena.
BOTTOM 4TH
Dear people, you're stuck with just me now, RK. WV is experiencing problem with his series of tubes that we call the interwebs. So let's buckle up, because this is going to get bumpy.
TOP 5TH TWINS 0 ROYALS 2
Qob, I have no idea why we have such astronomically bad karma. What's Q in military code speak?
Here's the thing: the rest of this post will be themed, in terms of the 1995 epic "Batman Forever." The cast:
De La Rosa: "Kissed by a Rose"
Shealy: Seal
And I'll make up the rest as I go along. I live in the land of painfully extended metaphors.
All I know is this: I know that we're never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy, but the Twins won't survive this game unless they get a little offense.
BOTTOM 5TH
I know we're reaching freak-out point here, but I want to point out that Ortiz is not unlike Val Kilmer, the calm Batman with a quick hand and... rubber nipples. He's doing his job, it's about what we should expect from him, and it's not his fault his parents were shot by the Joker.
Another run. Le sigh.
Sorry, megan et al. WV and I didn't communicate too terribly well about who was actually posting. It's all fixed up now, nice and tidy.
TOP 6TH
Casilla hit that bat like The Riddler hit that cop and hurt his hand. Is it unnerving the amount of detail I remember from this film?
Wow, the Royals are putting on a defensive show here. This isn't right! It's time for Grand Avenue Joe to belt one like Robin belted Two-Face for killing his parents.
But I'll take a slap single too, especially if Mauer goes to 2nd on a WP.
And Cuddy does his job in the middle of the M&M sandwich. Someone in the crowd near the booth said "darn it!" and I love that kind of stuff. A conscious effort to be as inoffensive as possible. I love it.
Get it together, MVP!
BOTTOM 6TH MIN 1 KC 3
Yeah, I pretty much update the score when I feel like it.
I'll never like Buck because of the association with Joe Buck. And the Mauer gets up like Alfred and politely invites Sanders to exit the field of play without giving away the location of the Batcave on that strike to second.
High winds + fly ball pitcher = AAAAAUUUUGHH!
Can you believe Heidi Klum married that guy?
TOP 7TH
Qob, right, and the elements aren't helping either. But like I said, 3 runs over 6 innings? That's not too terrible for what we expected out of the guy. He's a pleasant surprise. Like Nicole Kidman as Bruce Wayne's therapist/lover.
I wonder who handles graphics for the Royals. The in-game graphics look like something from an episode of a 1979 Wide World of Sports at some cliff-diving competition in Mexico or something.
Redmond has his own little groove out to right field. At some point, they'll rename the right side of the field, the "Mike Redmond expressway"
Rabe's happy to be here, like the guy who plays Commissioner Gordon, but you're gonna be in hot water! And then you'll be delicious. I prefer watercress myself.
Were now entering the ridiculous, or "Batman and Robin" stage.
BOTTOM 7TH
Thank God WV is back.
RK: I was running out of Batman Forever analogies anyway
WV: I hope you didn't have to mention the soundtrack.
RK: Only in passing.
WV: Because if we lose, it will be the end is the beg...yeah.
RK: 3 runs in 7 innings is a solid outing for Ortiz.
WV: Exactly
RK: The bats need to come to life though.
TOP 8TH GENTLEMEN FROM MINNESOTA 1 GENTLEMEN FROM KANSAS CITY 3
WV: I kind of hope Castillo comes back soon.
RK: The Sandcastle is washing away in the high tide
WV: I can't seem to find the team splits, but it feels like we've really struggled against lefties this season.
RK: That's an eternally true statement
WV: Another timeless statement: "Maybe the Royals have started to turn the corner"
RK: I bet they only turn left like NASCAR drivers.
WV: That was a pretty good play right there to get Joe out.
RK: Begrudgingly, yes.
BOTTOM 8TH
RK: This is like a juxtaposition of the Bermuda Triangle, the Twilight Zone, and... Never Never Land with that hit by Teahan
WV: Right, you could rename it "Charlie Kaufman Stadium" and say that his rundown was a form of "Adaptation" by Reyes
RK: Seriously, I miss Bert like the deserts miss the rain. These guys are like golf announcers on opiates.
WV: Guerrierrrrreat! in
RK: The pooch: Screwed.
WV: hopefully with the next batter, Guerrier can Buck this walking people trend.
RK: You're like a pun robot today. And robots are strong.
WV: Unlike Cuddyer's seeing in the sun talent.
RK: Silly human eyes.
TOP 9TH 3 SLAYOR 1 SNIWT
WV: I guess pitches at your ankles are strikes nowadays.
RK: That's a "get me out of this wind strike"
WV: Smell those RsBI
RK: I smell burning hair. Didn't turn out well for Carmine.
WV: Uh.
RK: QTF?
WV: See getting out of the wind comment.
RK: That was a strike on World 5 of Mario Brothers 3 where everything freaking enormous. And nowhere else.
POSTGAME
RK: Well, we got kissed by a Rose.
WV: Well, the bases loaded and 1 out situation in the 1st looks like a pretty big wasted opportunity huh
RK: The bats are full of ass. The umpire is full of stupid.
WV: The pirantas went 1-14
RK: We need more havoc!
WV: it's tough to clear the table when it's never been set in the first place
RK: And it's criminal to give of the Rose a 6 pitch inning
WV: Exactly. The Twins better "Fly Like An Eagle" out of KC ASAP.
RK: God we're awesome.
WV: No doubt about it.
# posted by RK @ 2:02 PM 
Comments:
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Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? I mean really. Whenever I do to PAB when the game is going, they get behind. I like this site, but dang...
"Be good with this guy Mike Sweeney...don't walk him, but don't give him anything too good to hit"....why thank you Captain Obvious Bert Blyleven....as he gets a hit...LISTEN RAY-MOAN!
Now you took the other one away... I was so confused, haha. But :( We're losing...
# posted by 
: 3:25 PM
: 3:25 PM
"RK: And you do the Barlett dumpty and you turn yourself around
WV: Baaaartlett pokey."
LOL. I love that line.
WV: Baaaartlett pokey."
LOL. I love that line.
# posted by : 8:40 PM
: 8:40 PM
Actually, giant world is world 4 of Super Mario Bros 3, but that's just splitting hairs. Either way, there's no chance that was a strike, especially strike 3 to end the game.
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